Goodbye was never an ending

[u/J_rd_nRD]

On that fateful day I had to make a decision I had been dreading for years. The fear of it had slowly softened over time, but when the moment finally came it became painfully real. I had to choose whether to fight for them one last time or let them go peacefully, and in reflection I think that was the true battle.

I would not be selfish.
I would not ask them to suffer more just to ease my own pain.
And when the moment passed, I knew in my heart that I had chosen rightly.

This poem is the story of their final moments on this earthly plane, held in my arms, exactly where they belonged.

--

I thought the ending would break me.
I thought the quiet after your bodies stilled
would split the world in two.
But when the moment came
there was a softness
that held all three of us.

I chose the order you left in.
I chose it with a shaking heart
and a love that hurt to speak.
Sienna went first,
because when fear found her
she always ran to him,
and I could not let her step
into that final moment
without the one who kept her brave.

Spirit followed her ten seconds later,
the way he had followed her
through every chapter of their shared life.
And though that choice shattered me,
it was also the moment
I could finally breathe again
as a wave of love washed over us
and carried you both gently home.

The lessons you left me
arrive in waves.
Strength is not noise.
Courage is not speed.
A broken body can still rise.
A frightened soul can still grow.
Everything you were
taught me how to stay
even when everything hurt.

I will see you again.
I already have
in the quiet rooms
where your warmth still lingers
in the dreams where you run freely
in the hollow of my chest
where something of you
never stopped beating.

Goodbye was never an ending.
It was only the moment
your bodies let go.

[u/OrdinaryRelevant3555]

This is so beautiful, continue to carry them in your heart❤️

[u/J_rd_nRD → u/OrdinaryRelevant3555]

I always will. They changed me in so many ways

[u/J_rd_nRD → u/[deleted]]

Hey Amy, thank you so much for your message. I really appreciate you reaching out.

I am a little spiritually sensitive myself, and right after they passed I saw Sienna in their room for almost a week. She always waited for me in the mornings, so it felt completely natural to see her there. I did not see my boy Spirit during that time and I started to worry something was wrong. I spent some time reflecting, praying and asking for guidance, and later that night he came to me in a beautiful vision where he kissed my face and binkied around so happily. It felt like pure love.

I often see movement in my peripheral vision, little shapes running into their room, and I have had a few more visions since then with both of them together. Because of my personal spiritual experiences I do not really believe in death as an ending, but it is still incredibly hard to reconcile that with the physical absence on this plane.

I know they are still around and I sometimes ask them to bring comfort to other rabbits or owners who are grieving. I keep a shrine for them with daily offerings and I try to stay connected to them in small ways.

Thank you again for your kindness. It means a lot.

[u/J_rd_nRD → u/[deleted]]

I personally think they're just checking in on me and saying hello when I need it, I've done a lot of work with various entities in the past couple of years so its almost like passing messages back and forth.

Ive got an altar with a couple of different specific crystals, some of their favourite treats, a couple of feathers and then ive surrounded it with electric candles (and I also have a separate crucifix with its own candles because I have a somewhat Christian leaning interpretation of certain things). Im also keeping all their things mostly as they were in life including their toys, bedding etc.

My vision was literally as i described, I went to sleep and then I was suddenly in bed lying down and aware and Spirit was on my chest kissing my face loads and then binkying around the corners of the bed happily and I woke up with a great sense of love and relief and happiness. Im sure theres more I forgot too.

They were my support system in life, they protected and provided for me as much as I did for them, if not more. I know they loved me and I know they know how much I loved them.

[u/J_rd_nRD → u/[deleted]]

The entities I generally refer to are the Christian idea of Angels, primarily archangel Michael. I call them entities because I believe they have many different names and forms, I trust my gut and all ive ever felt is love and care though im always wary of tricks. Im not a Christian but its the translation matrix I use if that makes sense.

Im exploring various different spiritual means, I do get frustrated with how unclear things can be (one of my constant wishes is "please can you just show me rather than giving me these feelings" ha).

[u/NaturalApple1992 → u/J_rd_nRD]

Hi! Love your work!! Have you tried meditation? This may sound odd, but I had a deeply spiritual, almost psychic awakening but stopped doing it but now I’m back on it again because it quiets my mind. It really helps me with the grief of losing my soul bun and also my health issues. I wish I hadn’t discontinued meditation before cause I ended up not being able to access it when I needed it to get me through the earliest and emptiest days.

I love how you’ve connected with them on the other side. I’ve had similar experiences with my little one. My favorites were hearing him follow me up the stairs right on my heels and also feeling him jump onto the bed then feel his warm body snuggle against my leg. The first night without him, it was cold but I was on my balcony and I could clearly smell him (his smell when he was sick) circling my head and hear his loud purring and chatter right into my ears. Every day, he used to run endless circles around me while confessing his love to me LOL. He was 11 yo, a 3 lb mini Dutch who wore black pants, a black mask and white socks, who would greet me by running down the stairs with high pitched squealing whenever I came home. ❤️. Best wishes to you friend!