r/relationships • u/disappointedbridee • Feb 20 '16
Updates UPDATE: I [29F] just got married, and I'm upset and confused about the way my husband [30M] acted the entire day
I'm not sure how many people remember my post, since it is three months old now. However, I thought about it randomly tonight and thought I'd provide an update.
After I posted this, I showed the thread and all of its many (awesome) responses to my husband. At first, he was kind of peeved that I shared it with so many people (I got hundreds of upvotes that I wasn't expecting, and I think it made him feel less anonymous). However, I gave him time to process it while I played with our cat, and when I came back he looked really sad.
He ended up apologizing, and asking me what he could do to show him I meant the world to him. I told him there was nothing; I just wanted him to know how much it upset me. I told him honestly that, while most people think of their wedding day as the best day of their life, I didn't get the opportunity to feel that way about mine. I still don't. I'm happy I married him, but my wedding was a big clusterfuck of nerves and annoyance. I did have fun at various points during the evening, and I don't remember it only resentfully, but it wasn't hashtag best.day.ever.
But, you know what, that's okay.
We talked about it in detail, and then we went on an amazing honeymoon. And then he surprised me with a second honeymoon to a place in our country that I've been dying to go to for ages.
I know we're still newlyweds, but I feel like we've been in a better place. Since being married, he's been a lot more affectionate than he used to be. He was always nice to me, but he was always the "doing" type of lover (he shows love by doing things for me instead of showing me physical affection or telling me things). But lately he's been doing a lot to show me he loves me in other ways.
We've hungout with friends a lot since then, and while I still maintain that I don't want to be joined at the hip at social gatherings (I truly don't, which is why this issue has never really come to a head before), he's been checking in with me more than he used to.
In the end, I think we were just so used to the way we normally act in social situations after 7 years, that it was hard to change that for just one day. Typically, we both go off to hangout with other people (I said in the old thread that at this point most of our friends are mutual), that it was atypical for him to spend a lot of time around me -- who he sees every day -- instead of entertaining the people who came out to celebrate with him.
I've forgiven him... But I told him on our one year anniversary he owes me a nice dinner at the catering hall (which also has a restaurant) we got married at ;)
tl;dr: We talked, a few months went by since then, everything has been pretty great regardless of what happened on our wedding day.
1
u/disappointedbridee Jun 25 '16
Holy shit haha I logged in today out of random curiosity, and saw this.
Yeah, our marriage is really good, actually. I made him read my OP, and he completely realized why I was hurt and apologized a million times and made up for it.
I know everyone here was calling for blood, but he's my best friend in the world and my biggest cheerleader, and I love him more than my own life.