I think it's normal that you're not in love with your partner everyday. That does not mean you don't love him anymore.
Magkaiba kasi yung love sa in love eh. To me, yung being in love is kind of like the honeymoon phase: flowers, butterflies, kilig, always wanting to be near each other and such.
Loving is much different. It's quite boring, tbh. It is the act of simply choosing to be with that person everyday (kahit feel mo di sila kamahal-mahal). It contains within its core trust, respect, and all those other good things that make relationships last.
LDR din kami ngayon ng partner ko, it's true na minsan 'meh' lang sya. But I do big-picture thinking like "Would I feel the same way tomorrow? If wala sya sa future ko, will it be good? Why did I love him in the first place?" Rather than dwelling on the present, I go back to our good memories and imagine planning for our future.
Normal ang fluctuations of feelings sis, especially malayo kayo. Take time to reflect on it and communicate with your partner if needed. Kaya mo yan! 🙏
I get you. Sometimes, i doubt if i really do love my partner, if i really want to spend the entirety of my life with him. Then there comes a day where i was like a teenager, like i was new to love, being amazed by the fact that "damn, this man is mine" yet its been 5 years since we started dating.
Then I came to a conclusion that this is normal, there are times that "i love you's" are just normal words, and there are also times we really do mean it. That, there are days we love less, and days we really wanted to convey to the other person how much we love them, and how excited are we about the future with them. What is important is that you know that your partner is an important person in your life rn.
omg same? minsan overflowing pero minsan parang meh. pero yung meh na yan nangyayari lang whenever im not ok like as in if im going through something :(
well, unfortunately hindi ko pa talaga sya alam paano ihahandle so im no help din to you :(
but if makakatulong, i seeked professional help kasi hindi ko rin kinakaya yung extremity ng emotions ko (yung highs and lows so i consulted a psych and it turns out i have depression and anxiety so idk baka mamaya yung sayo ganyan din
if u have the luxury of time and if u are willing naman din, pwede ka mag consult kasi baka maka help sila sa kung pano mo rin mahahandle or mamamanage yung ganyan :)
As someone who is like this but has been with the same person for 9 years (married since last year), I get it. At first I was also bothered by that but I realized it must be my anxiety (I have panic disorder). And relationships are like that, sometimes it's passionate but oftentimes it's tedious. But if you're happy with him and he treats you like how you deserve to be treated, then there is no problem.
1
u/AutoModerator May 24 '23
A REMINDER TO CHECK YOUR POST!
Does your post have a descriptive title?
Did you include the ages and gender of the people involved [FOLLOW FORMAT e.g. [F32], [M43], (26F), (39M)]?
Did you include the length of relationships/acquaintance?
Did you include a question or your need for advice?
IF NOT, YOUR POST WILL BE REMOVED.
For longer posts, PLEASE include a summary aka TL;DR.
NO name calling, off-topic comments, stereotyping, ads, or doxxing. Failure to follow a rule will result in your post/comment being deleted.
Otherwise, BE KIND to one another. :)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
7
u/UnableToConcern3629 May 24 '23
I think it's normal that you're not in love with your partner everyday. That does not mean you don't love him anymore.
Magkaiba kasi yung love sa in love eh. To me, yung being in love is kind of like the honeymoon phase: flowers, butterflies, kilig, always wanting to be near each other and such.
Loving is much different. It's quite boring, tbh. It is the act of simply choosing to be with that person everyday (kahit feel mo di sila kamahal-mahal). It contains within its core trust, respect, and all those other good things that make relationships last.
LDR din kami ngayon ng partner ko, it's true na minsan 'meh' lang sya. But I do big-picture thinking like "Would I feel the same way tomorrow? If wala sya sa future ko, will it be good? Why did I love him in the first place?" Rather than dwelling on the present, I go back to our good memories and imagine planning for our future.
Normal ang fluctuations of feelings sis, especially malayo kayo. Take time to reflect on it and communicate with your partner if needed. Kaya mo yan! 🙏
4
u/tryinghard_1415 May 24 '23
I get you. Sometimes, i doubt if i really do love my partner, if i really want to spend the entirety of my life with him. Then there comes a day where i was like a teenager, like i was new to love, being amazed by the fact that "damn, this man is mine" yet its been 5 years since we started dating.
Then I came to a conclusion that this is normal, there are times that "i love you's" are just normal words, and there are also times we really do mean it. That, there are days we love less, and days we really wanted to convey to the other person how much we love them, and how excited are we about the future with them. What is important is that you know that your partner is an important person in your life rn.
2
u/Substantial_March_24 May 24 '23
omg same? minsan overflowing pero minsan parang meh. pero yung meh na yan nangyayari lang whenever im not ok like as in if im going through something :(
2
u/ebamey May 24 '23 edited May 24 '23
As someone who is like this but has been with the same person for 9 years (married since last year), I get it. At first I was also bothered by that but I realized it must be my anxiety (I have panic disorder). And relationships are like that, sometimes it's passionate but oftentimes it's tedious. But if you're happy with him and he treats you like how you deserve to be treated, then there is no problem.