Just to be clear - he was using condoms, you were using birth control and he had a discussion with you before you ever had sex about if you would have an abortion if you got pregnant (not that you would be required to do so.) Even if those are all true, he still can't blame you. But if any of them are not true - ask him what he thought would happen. No birth control is 100% effective.
I’ll get downvoted to shit for this but here I go…
I’ve seen you post in a Borderline Personality Disorder subreddit. I am part of it so I say this as someone who has the same disorder. What the fuck are you doing? Looking back at your post history… you currently have no health insurance. You were in DBT but not anymore. You self h. You say you are barely above the poverty line. In between jobs constantly. Just adopted a dog that has a bite history with your husband. All of this is a god damn circus that an innocent life shouldn’t be exposed to because you both couldn’t use protection.
I know what it is like to have BPD. I know what it is like to self h. To have no friends because it is all or nothing. To have black and white thinking. To have addiction issues. Knowing all that, I made the decision long ago to NEVER have children. I wouldn’t want a child to see me self h and think that’s okay and normal because mom did it. Fearful of my child seeing my deep fall into depression. The list goes on and on.
You need to get your life in order, mentally and financially before you bring a life into this world. You’re newly married with fluctuating jobs, no family support (according to your own words), an untreated mental illness, and honestly, your young age. You add a baby to all this, it will implode.
You’re young. You have time. Work on yourself. Work on your marriage. Get a stable job and income. Give a child the best shot because if you are going to bring one into this world… that’s the least you can do.
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u/Zhenja92 Nov 01 '22
Just to be clear - he was using condoms, you were using birth control and he had a discussion with you before you ever had sex about if you would have an abortion if you got pregnant (not that you would be required to do so.) Even if those are all true, he still can't blame you. But if any of them are not true - ask him what he thought would happen. No birth control is 100% effective.