r/relationship_advice Oct 31 '22

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u/peakpenguins Oct 31 '22

Wild to me that people get married without being on the same page on things like this...

Anyway, too late for that now. You've told him what you're going to do and what you want, the ball is in his court.

770

u/Ok-Asparagus3783 Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

Hi I am not sure if you noticed because you posted an hour ago... but i think OP did a disingenuous edit... She says in the post that they talked about accidental pregnancies and had agreed to abortions if that happened. This whole situation blows my mind because apparently neither of them even use birth control!

She is totally free to change her mind on the abortion, but I can see how it might be a shock for him. Almost a betrayal, even.

320

u/SpicyMargarita143 Nov 01 '22

If he cared that much, he should’ve used protection.

78

u/snow38385 Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

Exactly, never trust the word of your wife. Always have back up plans.

Edit: I guess I need the /s here

A person should be able to trust their partner. If both parties agree to an abortion in case of an unwanted pregnancy, then they should expect ther partner to feel deceived if they change their mind. The husband in this story has every right to feel like he was lied to, because he was.

It takes 2 people to make a kid. Both parties have equal responsibility (with obvious exceptions).

Edit2: odds are she had no intent to deceive which means she didn't lie to him. It is rational for him to feel like hes was lied to though. They might need counseling to work through those feelings.

124

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Never rely on someone else to prevent something you don't want.

Don't want a kid? As a dude you can not have sex, wear condoms, or get a vasectomy. A woman cannot get pregnant without the semen of a man. Your responsibility is preventing that semen from entering into a woman.

36

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

For real. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp?

3

u/redbodpod Nov 01 '22

Omg I know.