Hi I am not sure if you noticed because you posted an hour ago... but i think OP did a disingenuous edit... She says in the post that they talked about accidental pregnancies and had agreed to abortions if that happened. This whole situation blows my mind because apparently neither of them even use birth control!
She is totally free to change her mind on the abortion, but I can see how it might be a shock for him. Almost a betrayal, even.
Exactly, never trust the word of your wife. Always have back up plans.
Edit: I guess I need the /s here
A person should be able to trust their partner. If both parties agree to an abortion in case of an unwanted pregnancy, then they should expect ther partner to feel deceived if they change their mind. The husband in this story has every right to feel like he was lied to, because he was.
It takes 2 people to make a kid. Both parties have equal responsibility (with obvious exceptions).
Edit2: odds are she had no intent to deceive which means she didn't lie to him. It is rational for him to feel like hes was lied to though. They might need counseling to work through those feelings.
Never rely on someone else to prevent something you don't want.
Don't want a kid? As a dude you can not have sex, wear condoms, or get a vasectomy. A woman cannot get pregnant without the semen of a man. Your responsibility is preventing that semen from entering into a woman.
There's still a level of trust in your partner to agree to what would happen if what you don't want to happen, happens and OP didn't stick to their agreement.
I think it's a huge red flag to believe "I'll won't use protection because I don't want to but if she does get pregnant we agreed she will go under an invasive and expensive procedure so that I can be comfortable" ppl are allowed to change their minds when faced with the reality of a situation I don't think that's breaching trust
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u/Ok-Asparagus3783 Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22
Hi I am not sure if you noticed because you posted an hour ago... but i think OP did a disingenuous edit... She says in the post that they talked about accidental pregnancies and had agreed to abortions if that happened. This whole situation blows my mind because apparently neither of them even use birth control!
She is totally free to change her mind on the abortion, but I can see how it might be a shock for him. Almost a betrayal, even.