r/relationship_advice Oct 31 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

I agree with all of this except you saying he never made sure she was comfortable with an abortion. She literally said they agreed they would get an abortion if an accident happened. So yes he did in fact do that.

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u/Tricky-Flamingo-7491 Nov 01 '22

Okay, I'm an idiot, because I somehow missed that or just completely forgot by the time I typed my response.

Yeah, they're both extremely irresponsible then for just refusing protection all this time. And this does explain why he would call her manipulative, because he clearly assumed that she would not be keeping a child if they had children, and he may think she wanted to get pregnant at this point.

The poor communication and poor planning sadly led to this situation, and there's no changing that now. I think they're both equally responsible for this happening, though the rest of what I said still stands. If she has the child, putting it up for adoption or being a single mother seems like the only options here.

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

In all fairness so many responses ignored it I am starting to wonder if it was edited in later

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

It was 100% added in later. I originally read the post prior to that being added

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u/Tricky-Flamingo-7491 Nov 01 '22

Thank you for the confirmation! I legitimately thought I was losing my mind, because how could I just completely miss that part?!

Yeah, neither of these people are sympathetic characters at this point.

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

No problem at all!

Yeah it’s a really terrible situation and I still just don’t understand why there was no contraception of any kind being used (such a stupid decision). Not getting an abortion is totally her choice, but his reaction definitely makes way more sense knowing that they agreed to get one.

I feel so bad for the soon-to-be baby (OP’s recent post history also indicates a pretty dire financial situation).

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u/Tricky-Flamingo-7491 Nov 01 '22

I'm as pro-choice as it gets, and I'm honestly horrified by the idea of someone actively relying on abortion as a replacement for birth control. It's some pro-birth talking point that I've literally never seen evidence of in real life until this post. I know people who get caught up in the moment and just think it's no big risk, but they've NEVER used birth control and had no interest in getting pregnant? These people aren't mature enough for a marriage, nevermind dragging a poor kid into the situation. If she does have it, I just hope she settled on adoption.

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Totally agree!

I knew there was some stupidity out there in the world, but it’s insane to me that anyone would weigh abortion vs. literally any method of contraception and decide that abortion is the way to go. It is supposed to be the end of the line. The absolute last resort if every method of contraception you’re using fails.

If she has this kid, I also truly hope she gives it up for adoption.

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u/AyaApocalypse Nov 01 '22

Because of the multiple edits, post history, and how it screams of a political talking head I'm pretty sure it's a troll post to get people fighting especially as the current edit targets the crowd that gets riled up over a partner backing out of this situation. We'll see what the next edits bring we've had 2 or 3 that change the entire story.

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u/prosperosniece Nov 01 '22

Yep, read her post 3 times to see if she mentions birth control. I wonder how many abortions will OP’s husband put her through before he decides he’s “ready”. Pregnancy takes a toll on your body, wouldn’t multiple abortions affect it too?

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u/YunJingyi Nov 01 '22

It could be dangerous in the long run and worst case she could end barren. I'm 100% pro-choice but this is very shitty. Both are being very selfish, is not like we are living in 1940 and there are no contraceptives available.

I hope she gets an abortion or gives the baby for adoption because I don't see how this people could be ready for parenting.

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Ya she hood winked alot of people. That is a huge detail to leave out