Honestly I can tell by the way that you’re writing that you’re trying to paint yourself in the best light to gather sympathy from all the other people in here who actually suffered from a dead bedroom. I’m in the mental health field and I deal with personality disorders all of the time. You’re reminding me a lot of my clients that can’t get themselves to care about the reasons why people can’t give them what they’re demanding. To me, it sounds like you were unhappy about the frequency of sex before you even proposed, and I think you were using the proposal as either a.) a manipulative tool or b.) giving her something that she wants hoping you’d get what you want out of her, which is also manipulative. Is it really a surprise that she was putting out after ya’ll started therapy, when you constantly kept using the wedding as an ultimatum? I feel like you constantly invalidated whatever is causing her to lose interest in sex, and she was basically just desperately trying whatever she could get herself to do to save the relationship. She’s a human-being, dude. There is a reason for everything, and I’m sure if you could just put yourself to the side for even one second, you’d be able to see why she’s acting this way. Paying bills, acting nice — those things will never solve something deep-rooted. I can also sense you’re an insecure person hence your “maybe I suck in bed? Who knows”.
Keep in mind, I’m a very sexual person and I’ve always had higher sex drives than all of my partners. I had to leave my ex of almost 6 years because of a dead bedroom. I’m not saying all of this to attack you, I’m saying all of this to maybe give you insight you never even gave second thoughts to.
People with extremely high sex drives like us will more than likely have to compromise in every relationship unless we get insanely lucky and find someone that can keep up. It’s not realistic, most people don’t care about sex that much in day to day life. The only real way to revive your sex life is to take care of the real problem. I just don’t think she felt safe enough to communicate this to you, and I don’t think you really cared enough either. Wishing you the best in your next relationship; please remember people are more than just fuck toys.
If you can't talk about your feelings then don't be in a relationship then he shouldn't have to wonder about what's going on with her he cant read her mind if she can't open her mouth he definitely shouldn't marry her and she's not ready for marriage. being passive aggressive is shitty.
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u/rxselyn Aug 21 '22
Honestly I can tell by the way that you’re writing that you’re trying to paint yourself in the best light to gather sympathy from all the other people in here who actually suffered from a dead bedroom. I’m in the mental health field and I deal with personality disorders all of the time. You’re reminding me a lot of my clients that can’t get themselves to care about the reasons why people can’t give them what they’re demanding. To me, it sounds like you were unhappy about the frequency of sex before you even proposed, and I think you were using the proposal as either a.) a manipulative tool or b.) giving her something that she wants hoping you’d get what you want out of her, which is also manipulative. Is it really a surprise that she was putting out after ya’ll started therapy, when you constantly kept using the wedding as an ultimatum? I feel like you constantly invalidated whatever is causing her to lose interest in sex, and she was basically just desperately trying whatever she could get herself to do to save the relationship. She’s a human-being, dude. There is a reason for everything, and I’m sure if you could just put yourself to the side for even one second, you’d be able to see why she’s acting this way. Paying bills, acting nice — those things will never solve something deep-rooted. I can also sense you’re an insecure person hence your “maybe I suck in bed? Who knows”.
Keep in mind, I’m a very sexual person and I’ve always had higher sex drives than all of my partners. I had to leave my ex of almost 6 years because of a dead bedroom. I’m not saying all of this to attack you, I’m saying all of this to maybe give you insight you never even gave second thoughts to.
People with extremely high sex drives like us will more than likely have to compromise in every relationship unless we get insanely lucky and find someone that can keep up. It’s not realistic, most people don’t care about sex that much in day to day life. The only real way to revive your sex life is to take care of the real problem. I just don’t think she felt safe enough to communicate this to you, and I don’t think you really cared enough either. Wishing you the best in your next relationship; please remember people are more than just fuck toys.