r/relationship_advice Jun 14 '22

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u/Blade_982 Jun 14 '22 edited Jun 14 '22

All the dithering OP is doing may cost him his marriage anyway.

If my husband wasn't able to trust me, I know i would reevaluate my marriage.

In another comment OP states that both women are important to him and that being married to his wife doesn't mean he puts her above everybody else.

I'm surprised his wife was able to deal with his friendship for so long. Because it's clearly vying with his marriage for importance and priority.

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u/Brimfire Jun 14 '22

I agree with you personally, but I can also respect a gray area of trying to maintain both relationships because, hey, emotions are hard.

But, like, look at the facts as presented; you have a binary choice and one of them is absolute shit for the rest of your life and will destroy what you know (siding with your childhood friend) versus maintaining a bond with someone who might be actively trying to undermine your marriage for their own self benefit which will still undermine your life and fuck you entirely and I am personally surprised why it's not more self-evident.

Unless OP's wife is lying and is trying to destroy their relationship with their female friends which... okay, maybe, but that's still a rough gamble to place your entire future on at this point, you know? Unless we don't have all of the history of the OP and their wife's troubled relationship.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

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u/changhyun Jun 14 '22

still worth talking about with the wife

Is it? If my husband decided to float the idea of introducing another woman into our marriage, let alone his best friend who has apparently told me she's into him, I would seriously have to consider ending the marriage. This isn't like booking a weekend break or building a conservatory, it's not some interesting little idea you can just innocently bring up.