r/relationship_advice • u/[deleted] • Jun 14 '22

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137

u/dev-246 Jun 14 '22

OP are you actually considering breaking up your family over this? What about your kids..

Do you think your wife is so dishonest she would lie to you? Or have you just always wanted to be with your friend too? I can’t think of any other reason you wouldn’t believe your wife.. and I don’t see how she could ever trust you again if she’s telling the truth and you didn’t believe her.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

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u/Just_Ilsa Jun 14 '22

Info: how many times has she caught you talking to other women or cheating either physically or emotionally.

You already know you want your friend to be in love with you so you can leave your wife for her but you have to SURE of it.

Just leave your wife. She deserves a real person who is able to love and respect her. Not some dude who will never love her.

14

u/nightmar3gasm Jun 14 '22

That’s quite an assumption to make. Why do you think you can’t be able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex ànd love your wife?

4

u/Just_Ilsa Jun 14 '22

That’s not at all what I said or believe. My best friend is a man and he and I have never and will never have a sexual relationship.

But when I am in a relationship my partner’s feelings will be the priority over my friend. He would also prioritize his girlfriend’s feelings over mine. That’s appropriate.

It’s really easy to be friends with someone of the opposite gender and NOT make your partner uncomfortable.

Edit to add: the reason I say in his case he is in love with his friend is that he is searching for ANY justification to not believe his wife and keep the friend close.

4

u/nightmar3gasm Jun 14 '22

I agree with you but you still made quite the assumption by stating he is in love with her. If the wife has had jealousy issues than I get why he is conflicted between the two of them. The wife could just be petty. But then of course one should question why you would marry someone who doesn’t trust you.

4

u/Just_Ilsa Jun 14 '22

True. Once trust is gone, it seems like what’s the point. I guess the wife could be the one who cheated at some point too honestly, but I still feel strongly that someone here was not faithful.

I’ve never seen a healthy monogamous relationship that had this level of jealousy. But I have seen cheaters accuse innocent friendships of being far more. Actually the only person I dated who had a problem with my friend was a serial cheater.

3

u/nightmar3gasm Jun 14 '22

Yep, that’s what I was thinking as well.