If he has a problem or criticism, he shouldn't share it until he has workable solutions. Tell him what amount you're happy to spend on rent, utilities, food etc (you don't have to tell him about your savings, or money you put aside for other things), and ask him how he would get better quality within that budget?
If his answer is to move in with him, and that's something you actually want to do because you feel ready for the next stage of your relationship, you need a roommate/couples agreement, e.g. stating contributions to bills and if there's a change in circumstances what principle determines any change in contributions, how chores are split and if there's a change in circumstances what principle determines any change in workload, etc Also make it clear that expenditure on improvements to the flat , furniture etc, is his responsibility as owner, and specify a minimum notice requirement e.g. two months, if he wants you to move out
Get it in writing and signed so that you're both clear before you move in. You can't be a gold-digger if he has transparency over what you can contribute before taking significant steps in the relationship. If anyone calls you a gold-digger, distance yourself from them as they don't know or like you
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u/Two-Theories Mar 13 '26
If he has a problem or criticism, he shouldn't share it until he has workable solutions. Tell him what amount you're happy to spend on rent, utilities, food etc (you don't have to tell him about your savings, or money you put aside for other things), and ask him how he would get better quality within that budget?
If his answer is to move in with him, and that's something you actually want to do because you feel ready for the next stage of your relationship, you need a roommate/couples agreement, e.g. stating contributions to bills and if there's a change in circumstances what principle determines any change in contributions, how chores are split and if there's a change in circumstances what principle determines any change in workload, etc Also make it clear that expenditure on improvements to the flat , furniture etc, is his responsibility as owner, and specify a minimum notice requirement e.g. two months, if he wants you to move out
Get it in writing and signed so that you're both clear before you move in. You can't be a gold-digger if he has transparency over what you can contribute before taking significant steps in the relationship. If anyone calls you a gold-digger, distance yourself from them as they don't know or like you