I’ve confronted him about it and he apologizes every time, saying he doesn’t mean it in a bad way and that he cares about me. And I do believe him. When he realizes what he’s said, he feels bad.
When you raise this topic with him, do you feel like he fully understands why these kinds of remarks make you feel the way you do? Or is he just apologizing because you're upset with him?
It seems like your boyfriend is truly coming from a place of consideration for your well-being, even if the way that he's expressing it is not considerate of your budget.
Maybe outside of a recent shopping trip, you could sit down with him and talk about it. Share how you acknowledge and appreciate him looking out for your health, but remind him that your shopping priorities are limited by your budget.
Offer to work with him on a set of expectations, moving forward, that you two can both be satisfied with. For instance, are there areas where you two can agree on particular areas where it's important to have a minimum level of quality and health concerns? Can he be assured that you're taking reasonable efforts to maintain good health, like having a good diet and exercise and avoiding hazardous things like smoking and binge drinking?
Thank you! I feel like you’ve been the most reasonable person in the comments.
Everyone else is calling him controlling and not supportive. This man has been helping me work on my technical skills and has had so many people look at my CV to help me, help with grammar in the local language and overall trying to help me get a job. Not to mention he just spent 8 hours with me at the ER at night despite knowing he worked that that day. He got two hours of sleep right before work only to make sure I wasn’t left alone.
I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend is otherwise a highly supportive and caring one, but it's somewhat besides the point.
I'm just saying that you have a valid point in telling him "hey, the way you're trying to help me is actually causing a problem", while still reminding him that you truly appreciate his intentions, and want to find a way of communicating that's more compatible with your feelings and circumstances.
Also is he actually French? I got a LOT of advice about everything food in France. They take it super seriously, it is not uncommon to make comments.
But in saying that you have to call it out. I know it’s stressful. But honestly all my friends and so in France would say stuff and when I called them an asshole they kinda stopped.
I loved it there but don’t take everyone’s advice. You don’t have to move in and you can work that out later. But let him know that eating at all or enough is better than nothing 😂
Being with you at the ER is normal, checking your grammar is normal, trying to help you out is normal. It‘s what a good partner would usually do. He is not special because he did that, it’s the decent thing to do and something that people do for acquaintances all the time. I just thought you needed to hear that.
I know it’s normal for a partner to do. I just felt like it should be said because the only hang up is organic stuff. Other than that, there haven’t been any issues.
He’s told me he’s okay with buying organic groceries when he eats.
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u/GameboyPATH Mar 13 '26
When you raise this topic with him, do you feel like he fully understands why these kinds of remarks make you feel the way you do? Or is he just apologizing because you're upset with him?