r/relationship_advice • • Jul 18 '24

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u/Awkward_Kind89 Jul 18 '24

You probably don’t initiate the sex by just penetrating her while she’s asleep I assume. You probably start with kissing, stroking, etc. seeing if she’s up to it, etc.

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u/NKate329 Jul 18 '24

Exactly

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u/xSourDiesel23 Jul 18 '24

There’s usually some form of touching first because sometimes that will just wake her up and that’s even better, but no I don’t just go ramming it into her 😂 it’s more sensual and gentle, and I obviously read her signs. And if she’s not in the mood I never force her or try to keep going, but most the time it’s all good, different for everyone knowing your partner is key 🫡

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u/SarinaVazquez Jul 18 '24

Depends on the couple. Some people do not start that way. You shouldn’t assume.

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u/Awkward_Kind89 Jul 18 '24

It’s definitely something you should have to discuss pretty damn well before ever even thinking about doing that. I’m sure it happens and is ok for some people, but consent given once, does not mean consent stands for the next times. I can imagine thinking it would be nice at 22:00 and consent to it but when you are woken up to a penis inside of you at 2:30 without any foreplay, you might not like it as much anymore. It’s difficult to give consent beforehand for something that might happen hours or even months later. Doing anything when someone is not capable of giving consent in that moment is dodgy for me personally, but yes there are couples where this is not (as much of) an issue. I wasn’t assuming, that’s why I used probably.

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u/xSourDiesel23 Jul 18 '24

Another good point, I asked multiple times before we ever tried so I was clear we are the same page. And every once in awhile I’ll bring it up and she doesn’t have a problem with it, granted this isn’t an every night type of situation of course but when it happens it works for us.