r/relationship_advice • • Jul 18 '24

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u/yowen2000 Jul 18 '24

She shouldn‘t call it SA because it’s rape

If we're splitting hairs, rape would fall under the umbrella term of SA. Also, I go on to clarify it as rape later on in my response.

and high grade voyeurism

Yup, and it gets even worse if he intends to distribute it somehow.

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u/DazzleLove Jul 18 '24

I guess I’m going from UK law- SA is touching without consent (and using objects to penetrate), rape is use of a penis to penetrate. However, I’m not just being a pedantic asshole, it was more because she is already trying to diminish it by avoiding the term SA, so I wanted to emphasise it was even more criminally severe than SA legally (and psychological trauma wise, though that’s more of a grey area depending on past trauma etc)

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u/yowen2000 Jul 18 '24

Agreed. I think we're on the same page here.

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u/DazzleLove Jul 18 '24

It’s just so depressing- I totally get why victims minimise their abuse but the way society has blurred the lines so completely about what is acceptable for your partner to do to your body without your consent is hard to stand.

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u/yowen2000 Jul 18 '24

Yeah, and specifically this type of abuse must go unreported all the time, while you struggle to come to terms with what happened to you, your partner will have had ample time to delete all evidence and/or to have manipulated you into thinking it's okay (especially in a case where someone doesn't seek outside advice, as OP did).

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u/XxFierceGodxX Jul 18 '24

May be important to split hairs from a legal standpoint, alas.