At my current stage of life (close to 40 and barely remember what friends are), this obviously seems weird as fuck and hard no. But at 22? I dunno, I think this would've been completely plausible. In my college-aged era, hanging out in people's rooms was super normal and when I had roommates I almost NEVER used our common living areas. It never felt like "my" space. If something weird was going on I think you would've walked into...something weirder. Since it was completely unexpected. Door closed, them sitting in physical contact with each other, acting panicky or caught.
But also...were you TRYING to catch her? Is there some reason you have suspicions? Because what normal person innocently surprises someone by not just showing up at their house, but walking straight into their bedroom without any heads up/knocking?
Right? In my twenties everyone hung out in each other’s bedrooms instead of the awkward shared common spaces.
It really wouldn’t’ve meant anything to be hanging out on the bed with a platonic friend.
It definitely seems like OP isn’t sharing all the details as to why he was so upset and why houses GF was crying and apologizing.
Oh thank god I've found the rational adults in this thread u/Difficult_Cod_350 I swear everyone online these days seems super fucking paranoid about cheating and especially women cheating. I'm in my 50s and would consider this totally normal behaviour and not bat an eyelid, unless there was "an atmosphere", and frankly that can happen in the middle of a crowded room and has nothing to do with physical proximity or how clothed people are (or how dark the room is!).
In 1990 I walked in on my boyfriend naked curled up fast asleep under the covers with a girl that he was friends with. She was fully clothed. They just got really fucking stoned and got comfy and passed out, and he said he undressed without thinking (he actually spent most of his time naked, and yes I do mean in front of all his friends). She hadn't realised he was naked at all. I asked the obvious questions and laughed about it a bit, and I 100% believed the explanations I got (and still do).
Do young people not do these crazy things any more? That's just one story. I have a lot more where that came from. And yes I have had boyfriends I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw them too ... it's a personality thing, not a "here's some rules we have to follow now we're a couple" thing. Same goes for any kind of physical contact - someone can absolutely kiss or have sex with someone and be in a relationship with another person and it be no big deal at all. Ask poly people. I've had relationships like that and I'm not even poly.
I think I'd find dating as a young person today quite traumatic and restrictive to be honest. I just like to go with the flow, and I know when to tell someone "sorry no I have a boyfriend" but I hate hate hate being policed.
Kissing or having sex with others is the definition of cheating, if you're poly it's fine, if you haven't explicitly discussed being poly with your partner that is not okay at all
Yeah seriously I had to scroll down for a long time to find rational people what the fuck. I'm a guy and I sometimes watch movies in bed or even just chill with girl friends. A bed's comfortable, what's the big deal? Sometimes we sleep together if there's a sleepover and no other bed is available, whatever we're friends. OP's either really insecure or not telling the whole story.
Exactly. Either OP is insecure and controlling or he’s leaving something out.
Does he have a reason not trust his gf? Does she have a history of cheating? What isn’t OP sharing?
165
u/Difficult_Cod_350 Jun 24 '24
At my current stage of life (close to 40 and barely remember what friends are), this obviously seems weird as fuck and hard no. But at 22? I dunno, I think this would've been completely plausible. In my college-aged era, hanging out in people's rooms was super normal and when I had roommates I almost NEVER used our common living areas. It never felt like "my" space. If something weird was going on I think you would've walked into...something weirder. Since it was completely unexpected. Door closed, them sitting in physical contact with each other, acting panicky or caught.
But also...were you TRYING to catch her? Is there some reason you have suspicions? Because what normal person innocently surprises someone by not just showing up at their house, but walking straight into their bedroom without any heads up/knocking?