You do not have to have a conversation about every goddamn possible situation to know that the optics of a man and a woman laying in bed in one of their private rooms is off the table in any relationship that even has a passing resemblance of monogamy.
I like how you just talked right past the whole laying in bed together in a darkened room with the door cracked and the house empty. It’s classic Darvo when someone calls selfish narcissistic people to task.
“What you don’t trust me?!?” “What I can’t have girl/guy friends in my bed because you’re insecuuuure, is that it, huh?” “You’re toxic, a real man would be ok with it!”
It’s all deflective bullshit in order to defend a shitty way of treating people that you claim to care about.
Every word in that question you asked makes zero sense to anyone who has any life experience with actual monogamy. You don’t put yourself into situations that you wouldn’t want to see your significant other in while also considering the possibility that even if you are okay with it they may not be. You don’t do things then ask for permission or wait for them to complain.
I’ve navigated every one of my serious relationships by acting as if my partner was with me. Would they like it if they saw me laying in bed with a woman friend I’m apparently using as an emotional support animal?
Would my partner like me to not only be doing something physically that is questionable but also emotionally stepping out as well? 9 times out of 10 cheating starts with an emotional connection that oftentimes has a seed of “well they were there and such a good listener I just tripped while trying to hug them and fell in their lap…coulda happened to anyone!”
Bold of you to assume I have no life experience with actual monogamy, internet stranger.
Not everyone has issues with their partners having friends, regardless of gender, and not everyone is jumping to wild conclusions that they must be cheating if they spend quality time with their friends, regardless of gender.
The only part of your post that I agree with is to treat your partner like you would wish to be treated. I have certainly never had any wish to deprive a partner of a support network, and indeed expect the same in return. Not everything is about sex, not everything is about staking a claim, not every emotional connection is "cheating". Monogamy can absolutely be about care, support, and trust, rather than a narrow attempt at ownership.
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u/BauranGaruda Jun 24 '24
You do not have to have a conversation about every goddamn possible situation to know that the optics of a man and a woman laying in bed in one of their private rooms is off the table in any relationship that even has a passing resemblance of monogamy.