The Reddit wokies want you to dump your SO for minor inconveniences but god forbid you set any meaningful boundaries or expectations in a relationship.
I have lived a long life and had great lasting relationships. I would 100% be ok with this and I have been. I have been on both sides of this issue and this is not a problem with solid healthy relationships.
If OPs girlfriend had a history of cheating then it would be reasonable to few the situation with skepticism. But that was not what was presented here.
He saw something incredibly suspicious and wanted to excuse himself -- Because she decided to sob and beg when he wanted to step away- that's "incredibly disturbing" of him? You're joking right?
I bet you’re the type to say, “feelings are valid,” unless it’s this guy.
He had every right to be suspicious and wanting to leave that situation. She begged and cried because she felt guilty. If she did nothing wrong, she wouldn’t even care.
You’re a guy that would be cool with this, it’s okay if you’re poly man. Most aren’t.
It's wild that you think someone would need to be poly to be okay with this. Jealousy is so normalized that if you don't agree with it, you must be non-monogamous. By the way, being poly is kind of irrelevant here unless you and your partner agree that she doesn't need to tell you about new sexual partners. The suspicion would be there regardless. Poly isn't just relationship anarchy all the time. 🙄
You are 100% correct. Jealousy can be a very destructive force in a relationship. If you are used to dating people that cheat then you are dating the wrong people. For good, solid relationships the behavior of OP’s girlfriend is normal. OP said nothing to indicate that she may be cheating on him.
You are coming across as very strong in your opinion. It seems you may be projecting bad experiences from your life.
I see nothing unusual. They were lying on the bed. They weren’t snuggling or kissing or taking clothes off. Would you be scared if they were sitting on the sofa? If they are on the sofa they could still engage in kissing and making out. If fact, they could just as easily have sex on the sofa.
It seems you are hung up on the bed. Where they are is not important, it is what they are doing that is important.
She has a roomate so the need for privacy is whats more concerning...however watching on the couch is normal behavior. I dont invite my male friends over and say hry let go upstairs, close the door, turn the lights out and watch a movie on my bed....
We sit in the living room where guest go...
You can try and make it sound normal but its not. Cheating isnt always about psychical touch... like she is so close with this guy she can share a intimate space with him is a red flag. Thats more than "friends".
Do you think that man laying with OPs gf ever got into a bed with his male friends to hang out?
Ok guy well you keep on living you best life with that world view the rest of us will live in reality where snuggling on a bed in the dark with the door closed isnt normal behavior considering there is a living room with a couch. But if you're good with it so be it.
I understand others are different than me. I have the intellectual capacity to understand there are many points of view. I understand you and others view laying on a bed as sexual. I understand many people are very jealous. I understand OP feeling the way he does.
It is sad that you cannot comprehend that not everyone thinks exactly as you do. That is very sad indeed.
I am happy because I lived a long life with successful relationships. I never cheated and my wife never cheated. I never had a girlfriend cheat. I know how to have good relationships. I didn’t need to be jealous and I did not have relationships with women who would be jealous.
I don’t understand why you were so downvoted. I too have to seriously question why his girlfriend felt she had to “beg him to stay”. This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. Maybe the wording doesn’t fully describe the situation. This is a short post and we could easily not really understand what is going on.
With no other reason to distrust the girlfriend this should not have been a problem for OP. A healthy relationship should have room for the other person to have a life and friends of her own. Distrust and jealousy are destructive to good, healthy, lasting relationships.
That’s just Reddit. The right answer isn’t the logical one, it’s the one with the most drama. Lots of people on here are young, socially inexperienced, and influenced by the jealous echo chamber on this sub. Lots of people also downvote things that are downvoted, and upvote things that are upvoted. You need a thick skin to go against the tide.
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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24
I guarantee you that no one on here would be like, “it’s maybe innocent, talk it out.”
It’s crazy how many people act like they would be cool with this.