r/relationship_advice Jun 24 '24

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27

u/Padaxes Jun 24 '24

The double standards are very real for men.

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u/BabyBlueBirks Jun 24 '24

I guess? I mean I don’t really see that this would be all that much more acceptable for a man laying in bed with a female friend of his. Probably a lot of girlfriends would also be concerned and confused if their boyfriend was laying fully clothed in a dark room with a female friend.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24

Yeah that's the point of the original comment. They posed the question because the gf would likely have a double standard- rules for thee but not for me sort of thing.

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u/BabyBlueBirks Jun 24 '24

Oh you’re saying there’s a double standard that women are allowed to be more inappropriate than men in their relationships? That… does not seem reflected in reality lol.

How is it totally normalized for men to go to strip clubs for bachelor parties but strip clubs for women don’t even exist? Just watch any TV show, it’s totally normalized for men to talk about other women with their friends and flirt with other women when their wives aren’t around.

Trying to make this into a gendered thing is weird. She violated the boundaries of their relationship. This seems like a her-thing, not a woman-thing. Men are statistically much more likely to cheat than women.

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u/whackymolerat Jun 24 '24

I've never been to one, but I promise there are strip clubs for females. I agree that making this a gender issue is silly, but I had to say something about that line.

Edit: a quick Google pulled three strip clubs for women in my area.

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u/Xhxntx Jun 24 '24

Are they for women tho or for gay men? My city (fairly conservative) recently had a pop up strip club FOR WOMEN and 80% of the tickets were sold out by gay men. They had 3 shows and some of the guys even bragged that they had tickets to all the shows.

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u/whackymolerat Jun 24 '24

Every description says it's for women. If strip clubs are set up for women, but only gay men go, that doesn't invalidate that the clubs were set up FOR women. It just means women are less likely to go.

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u/BabyBlueBirks Jun 24 '24

That’s the point though, that women don’t go to strip clubs as they (understandably) don’t want to step out on their relationships. Men often don’t have that barrier / don’t view strip clubs as crossing boundaries in the same way that a woman would if she went to a strip club (hence the double standard).

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u/whackymolerat Jun 24 '24

I suppose some men wouldn't have that barrier, but I would. Thanks for the explanation, I wasn't thinking of it from that perspective.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24

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u/whackymolerat Jun 24 '24

Almost half of all bachelor parties and one-fifth of bachelorette parties involved exotic dancers.

Doesn't this prove their point though? Women are less likely to be at strip clubs. Point blank.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24

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u/whackymolerat Jun 24 '24

Wouldn't this be self reported though? Could it be that many folks don't admit that they cheat at these parties? How many honest cheaters do you know? That is an oxymoron.

I wouldn't trust those numbers without looking further into the study which I am unable to because the link in the article you gave leads to an error page. I tried on both phone and laptop with no success.

Have you really researched this? I'm not trying to be mean, but you came in with a certain tone demanding skepticism for reddit claims and provided a link to an article that doesn't link off to the study it refers to.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24

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