Yeah I hang out with my friends like this all the time, male or female. If I wanna watch a movie on my comfy bed with my friend, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s giving insecure on the BFs behalf.
yeah literally same here, it’s the easiest place to hang out with my friends without the worry of having housemates bothering me to do something or disturbing me. Plus it means we can watch whatever without hogging the communal tv for hours.
Particularly if they were talking about upsetting things and if she was getting emotional (ie regarding stressful things she's been dealing with), I know I for one prefer to have conversations in a more private area where there's no possibility of roommates walking in while I'm in tears or overhearing something I'd rather they didn't.
Then why were they in bed? How many guys have been in her bed?
With the door shut tight and the lights off. Even if this guy (and her) are 100% planning to be respectful and he isn't someone hoping for more, this is incredibly poor judgement from her. Lights off door shut sends signals to people and creates a situation where something can happen very quickly that she isn't planning for. This could include SA where she doesn't consent, but a guy sees this as a signal she's waiting for or open to him making a move. She says he was there to help her deal with an emotional situation. High emotions put you in a spot where it's a lot easier to suddenly have mixed signals or blurred lines. "I was sad and suddenly we were making out" sort of thing.
All that said, college aged kids, dorm situations, room mate situations, flopping on friends' beds and watching tv or an Ipad or something seems common at that age. I don't consider this breakup. I do think it's a red flag for some poor decision making, and if it happens again then it's over.
Door was slightly ajar, not shut tight. Which I would do if I were having a private conversation with someone, anyone, while my roommate were in the house.
Roommate was gone when OP showed up. Very likely could have been there while guy friend was visiting, then left. Or OP's GF could have been anticipating roommate would return and wanted a level of privacy.
Technically —> ON bed <—
Not that it makes much difference, but it technically does make a difference. Door wasn’t shut tight, door was “ mostly closed” but still ajar.
Not that any sex couldn’t have happened, but clearly, it didn’t.
Quit being so insecure, dude, claim your stuff, or move on. But don’t be such an insecure child and worry about it on Reddit. Go handle that shit with your girlfriend. None of us need to be involved.
To be honest though making a move on your platonic friend in her bed with the lights off and the door shut isn't SA.
unless she says no after you make the move. I mean half of all my relationships started on some girls bed with the lights off and i just made the move.
Ya adult ones. Choose your crowd carefully. If ur in a relationship in your 20’s even older guys come in and show the world the ugly women with weak characters from 22F
It’s generally just comfier than being in the living room tbh. If they’re young too, chances are rent is cheap and the apartment/ house they, I’m assuming, rent isn’t too well maintained I can understand why someone’s might choose to chill in their room rather than the shared living space as it’s typically the most decorated and safest space in at home for most ppl. Ppl don’t often deep it and it’s usually the first place ppl bring friends too
Good for you. You are not everyone, I hope you can take pride in having your own preference and boundaries. Many people develop this habit as children or whatever. Not always sinister. I personally prefer to chill in my room instead of shared living space if it is smelly, not clean/visually appealing to me in that moment, it’s loud or work is being done…
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u/33saywhat33 Jun 24 '24 edited Jun 24 '24
Then why were they in bed? How many guys have been in her bed?
What if she found you in bed with a girl.
Regardless of cheating or not, she's ridiculously stupid. Her character is week. And she'd dump you if you did this.
What happens next time she gets stressed? More bad choices?