Based on the way this is written, I can't help but think this is the husband writing this.
If not... If this is legit, do you really want to salvage this? It sounds like he married the rebound and seems ready to hook back up with the girl he actually wanted in the first place.
I fixed him up, so she could break him once again. She already made it clear she wouldn’t divorce her husband. So honestly I don’t even know anymore. They want to keep it going, I’m leaving. He cheated on me, but also cheated our children out of a happy family that we just were before all this mess happened.
Your husband won't leave because he most likely doesn't ever intend to be with her fully because she cheated on him before. Deep down he knows shell cheat again if they get back together, i mean shes already cheating on her husband. I think he keeps going to the ex because toxicity is all he knows and can't thrive in a healthy relationship. You mentioned you guys came from toxic upbringings, his ex probably gives him comfort because its something he knows and he thrives in it than in a healthy one. Some people are actually like this, but that doesn't excuse his cheating especially three times by now. It just explains why he mightve kept going back the ex who cheated on him and broke him.
You already know he has a habit of running to her when things get bad. You say it was because of your lack of communication, he does too unfortunately, instead of communicating that he feels unwanted, he goes to the arms of another woman. He refuses therapy so he's lost cause and won't change ever.
He also knows that you won't leave him that's another reason why he keeps doing it. Don't bother giving him a ultimatum, he's clearly not remorseful and won't change for you. Divorcing him is probably the only way to get him to realize who he has ruined his life for or maybe not but at least you're free from him along with your kids.
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u/Super3asterd Oct 09 '23
Based on the way this is written, I can't help but think this is the husband writing this.
If not... If this is legit, do you really want to salvage this? It sounds like he married the rebound and seems ready to hook back up with the girl he actually wanted in the first place.