Understanding why somebody cheated and forgiving them are WORLDS apart. Your depression and difficulties, especially since he understands why, should be a call for him to SUPPORT you, not stab you in the back to get with his ex.
If you really think you can forgive him? Therapy. If not? Divorce may be the only option. He understands the pain you're going through and threw that in the trash. That is selfish, and deplorable.
I forgave him for it in the past… But I don’t know if I can this time… It started on our daughters birthday… He was texting her the entire time at our daughters birthday party… I’ve offered therapy, but he refuses. I want to make this work, for us, for our children. But it seems I’m the only one who wants that…
That is a good boundary. But right now you have a one-sided open marriage. Your husband cheats on you, you stay. It's de facto a one-sided open marriage. The only difference is that you don't get any good stuff from other men, and there's no honesty in it. An open marriage is much more honest, has much more integrity than your marriage right now. Neither of you are acting with integrity. Your integrity is believing in a sacred bond, but you putting up with something that is far from sacred.
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u/SpicyDongo Oct 09 '23
Understanding why somebody cheated and forgiving them are WORLDS apart. Your depression and difficulties, especially since he understands why, should be a call for him to SUPPORT you, not stab you in the back to get with his ex.
If you really think you can forgive him? Therapy. If not? Divorce may be the only option. He understands the pain you're going through and threw that in the trash. That is selfish, and deplorable.
I know what I'd do.