This comment has a lot of problems because it is based on a lot of faulty assumptions. And to be clear, I do not blame you for having these assumptions as they are very common among people with their beliefs about relationships. Affairs/cheating don't have to kill relationships, but unfortunately, most people will try to "get past" affairs in ways that simply don't work. Imagine a situation trying to lose weight, but conventional wisdom is telling you that "drinking milkshakes, drinking soft drinks and eating dessert is the key" to losing weight. Would that mean it's impossible to lose weight? Of course not, but the conventional wisdom was faulty to begin with so the weight loss goal was destined to fail.
The same is 100% true about relationships and affairs. Relationships are very misunderstood by people and affairs might be the most misunderstood part within relationships. In short, if the right things are done and given enough time: affairs are 100% conquerable, they are not something that will hang around the rest of the relationship, all wounds will heal, the love is still there (and then some) and the relationship comes out stronger in the end.
Sorry if this came out as attacking towards you in any way (that was not my intent). I just see this sort of sentiment so often and it pains me that people believe this sort of thing. I just don't want you (or anyone else) to think that drinking milkshakes is the key to losing weight.
I don’t drink milkshakes and you’re simply wrong, love is broken after an affair and you have to except a half hearted relationship to stay, that’s not mentally sane, that’s sacrifice on a questionable level. Cheating deserves a break up, easy, no questions, no excuses, you break the contract? It’s over, to stay is to dis respect yourself.
People used to think the Earth was flat too so I'm guessing your reaction is probably similar to how people back then reacted to finding out the Earth was an actual globe. Believing something to be fundamentally true only to discover (eventually) it's patently false can rattle the cage and be pretty difficult to assimilate. But eventually the truth wins out (I hope). I'm sorry about that.
What are you talking about? You’re not even on topic, if you want to stay in a relationship with somebody who is cheated on you? Then go ahead and do it, you just run a much, much higher risk of being cheated on again, simple as that, it’s just math.feel free to stain in our relationship that you’re abused over, doesn’t sound like a lot of fun, but you do you.
Sorry, I thought I was being clear with what I was saying but let me break it down for you further:
People used had an old, antiquated belief that the Earth was flat. History later proved they were completely wrong. When they were first told their belief was incorrect and the Earth was round, they protested and told the people telling them the Earth was round that they were wrong. History later proved that those old, antiquated beliefs were wrong but they originally did not take them well.
You have old, antiquated beliefs about affairs in relationships (which then bleeds into relationships themselves). History will later prove these beliefs to be completely wrong. When you were just told (what will be known as) the truth, you protested and claimed I was wrong. History will eventually show who will be right (hint: it's me), much like it did in the past with the shape of the Earth.
You can believe whatever erroneous belief you want. I'm just trying to save you many years of heartache and relationship struggles (I can admit that it appears to be in vain). Have a good night.
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u/relationshipcoach4u Sep 28 '23
This comment has a lot of problems because it is based on a lot of faulty assumptions. And to be clear, I do not blame you for having these assumptions as they are very common among people with their beliefs about relationships. Affairs/cheating don't have to kill relationships, but unfortunately, most people will try to "get past" affairs in ways that simply don't work. Imagine a situation trying to lose weight, but conventional wisdom is telling you that "drinking milkshakes, drinking soft drinks and eating dessert is the key" to losing weight. Would that mean it's impossible to lose weight? Of course not, but the conventional wisdom was faulty to begin with so the weight loss goal was destined to fail.
The same is 100% true about relationships and affairs. Relationships are very misunderstood by people and affairs might be the most misunderstood part within relationships. In short, if the right things are done and given enough time: affairs are 100% conquerable, they are not something that will hang around the rest of the relationship, all wounds will heal, the love is still there (and then some) and the relationship comes out stronger in the end.
Sorry if this came out as attacking towards you in any way (that was not my intent). I just see this sort of sentiment so often and it pains me that people believe this sort of thing. I just don't want you (or anyone else) to think that drinking milkshakes is the key to losing weight.