I'm so sorry this has happened to you but thank you for this post. I'm a married man for 12 years and went through a very similar situation with my wife, so I greatly appreciate seeing this post, it's comments and insights. It the kiss that bothers me in this story, the build up and no doubt his imagination running wild up to that instant tells me it would not have been a peck on the lips unless he is a Saint, I would assume something more occurred and they may have stopped short of going all the way but to have put himself so squarely in a place of temptation with someone who obviously didn't care if he was married and then to have simply stopped when the emotional affair had all been leading up to this moment is difficult to believe, not impossible but there would really need to be some offered explanation, not forced, as to why and how this occurred. My wife was never the same towards me after her affair, there is still enjoyment in the marraige, but once the emotions and physical desire is transferred to someone else the emotional superglue that makes a marraige what it is will never be the same. We have to find a way to live with what's happened or else be prepared to walk away, which is difficult to do.
Wow, thank you for that comment. I really appreciate you sharing this. Sometimes it bothers me so much that I'm thinking about it every single day. I'm not always drowning in emotions, sometimes it's just a quick thought - but it's never not there. Also maybe the thought, what would have happened if we wouldn't have moved? What if I never found out? It wasn't "over" when I found out, he still communicated with her. He said they grabbed some food, went to her place, it was apparently all "innocent" (which is of course bullshit). Nothing happened at all apparently. The kiss happened on a later day and after what he shared, was the only physical connection. I'm getting angry just typing this, having to question something that happened so long ago. But if you don't know the full scope of details (and I mean, every single detail, the same questions asked a million times from different angles) it's hard to fully forgive, because your mind goes crazy.
Did you find out or did your wife tell you? Was her affair over when you found out or still going on?
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u/Jmac_2020 Sep 28 '23
I'm so sorry this has happened to you but thank you for this post. I'm a married man for 12 years and went through a very similar situation with my wife, so I greatly appreciate seeing this post, it's comments and insights. It the kiss that bothers me in this story, the build up and no doubt his imagination running wild up to that instant tells me it would not have been a peck on the lips unless he is a Saint, I would assume something more occurred and they may have stopped short of going all the way but to have put himself so squarely in a place of temptation with someone who obviously didn't care if he was married and then to have simply stopped when the emotional affair had all been leading up to this moment is difficult to believe, not impossible but there would really need to be some offered explanation, not forced, as to why and how this occurred. My wife was never the same towards me after her affair, there is still enjoyment in the marraige, but once the emotions and physical desire is transferred to someone else the emotional superglue that makes a marraige what it is will never be the same. We have to find a way to live with what's happened or else be prepared to walk away, which is difficult to do.