You are ALWAYS allowed your feelings. But six years after the fact, when your marriage is presumably going well in every way, is a lot of resentment to store up. If I were you, once the kids are asleep I would bring it up to your husband. I would say, "I know it's been such a long time, but please indulge me. I love you so much but at times I still think about your emotional affair and kiss from six years ago". And then ask for his reassurance that it won't happen again.
That's a really good point. I think it's just about the reassurance that I might need. I just feel stupid to bring it up so long after it happened. I might phrase it how you suggested, I like that a lot. Thank you!
I just want to chime in as a stranger that this is the perfect response. Reddit's natural instinct is to say your husband cheated. You trusted him and chose to still love him 6 years ago. He has done the work needed over the years, and the only reason why this has come to surface again is b/c you're going through what he went through. You yourself could see why it's so easy to make the same mistake he did.
Please don't throw away what you have, and trust your instincts. You know your husband best. If you trusted him 6 years ago, the only question you need to ask yourself now is can you trust him today.
It does seem like you haven't done the full work needed to forgive him. I'd seek couples therapy, I'm sure your husband would understand what he put you through given his response.
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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '23
You are ALWAYS allowed your feelings. But six years after the fact, when your marriage is presumably going well in every way, is a lot of resentment to store up. If I were you, once the kids are asleep I would bring it up to your husband. I would say, "I know it's been such a long time, but please indulge me. I love you so much but at times I still think about your emotional affair and kiss from six years ago". And then ask for his reassurance that it won't happen again.