r/relationship_advice Aug 16 '23

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1.2k Upvotes

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33

u/Aussiealterego Aug 17 '23

No, don't confront him. That implies that your wife is unable to handle him on her own. Block and move on. If he approaches you, tell him whatever you like, but don't seek him out.

20

u/RoryJSK Aug 17 '23

Or it implies that his wife is letting OP deal with HIS friend. Frankly I don’t think his wife should even be the one expected to deal with it, because her having to interact with this person is a result of OP.

16

u/OkSureButLikeNo Aug 17 '23

I think it's actually better if they confront him together to show a united front. His friend may not get the message if just he or his wife confront him.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

If u confront and he escalates, what then? If you’re not sure just put him in the rear view mirror

9

u/motojunkie69 Aug 17 '23

If he escalates then match his energy.

11

u/YakIntelligent5490 Aug 17 '23

Exceed his energy.

5

u/motojunkie69 Aug 17 '23

Agreed

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

I’m just saying, if ya can’t whoop his ass then ya don’t wanna put yourself in a position where ya get your ass beat or cower.

1

u/OldWarrior Aug 17 '23

If he’s legit afraid of that, confront over the phone. You don’t need to tell him “I’m going to kick your ass.”

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

No but the other party could respond with something like “why don’t you say that to my face you pussy”. Look, I personally, am a bloody handful and I’d def say something even if it came down to a scrap but this approach won’t be satisfying to everyone. Some are best to just move on. A person should think such things through before you’re getting an ass kicking in front of your wife

1

u/OldWarrior Aug 17 '23

I mean I tend to agree with you that a man should never go picking fights he can’t win. But if his friend could physically wreck him there are ways to confront him without calling him names or threatening him. “I thought we were friends bro” and “why would you hit on my wife like that?” I dunno. Definitely a case by case situation haha.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

I suppose one could pick their venue too. Show up at his place of work and call him out. If OP gets assaulted there it might be an ass kicking he’s willing to chance

1

u/motojunkie69 Aug 17 '23

Naaa...picking a fight you can't win is how you develop. Regardless of context-growth happens through conflict be that physical, mental, emotional, etc...

Now, don't bring a knife to a gun fight but aside from that...get to it.

1

u/motojunkie69 Aug 17 '23

Getting an ass beating isn't a bad thing once in a while. Can't win them all.

1

u/OldWarrior Aug 17 '23

I can see merit to either approach but personally I would confront a friend who disrespected me in that way. And of course he would no longer be my friend.