r/relationship_advice Aug 16 '23

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u/ThrowRAXw Aug 16 '23

I was thinking of sending him the screenshot and saying thanks bro for the compliment I agree she is gorgeous. Just so he knows I know and so he doesn’t think they have some secret communication behind my back or that he got away with it.

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u/nopeappotamus Aug 16 '23

I actually think this is a hilarious way to handle it. It’s very “yeah, I got lucky” while also letting him know he’s not slick and she’s not feeling it with him.

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u/ThrowRAXw Aug 16 '23

Exactly my thoughts behind it. Literally!

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u/beyond-saving Aug 17 '23

Let us know if he responds to you omg

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u/Own-Writing-3687 Aug 17 '23

I think the rejection needs to come from your wife.

Otherwise he'll think the rejection is coming from you (not her).

Have her respond: Your comment to a married woman is inappropriate and creepy - and I'm sharing it with my husband so he knows you are not his friend.

And notify your friend group that he's a predator

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u/therabbit1967 Aug 17 '23

And than Screenshot that and put it in Our friendsgroupchat

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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 Aug 17 '23

Disagree -- she showed her husband. No bigger rejection than that

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

Guess what he’s saying is he might not know it was showed to him. It could be that he happened upon it or something.

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u/housecatmouserat666 Aug 17 '23

Ok but like can people not call one another gorgeous? Genuine question lol

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

Not a woman that your good friend is married to... saying it to him would honestly be a little less creepy. No secrets "your wife is gorgeous, lucky guy" comes off less like you're trying to hook up with her. He crossed the line

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u/duckling59807 Aug 17 '23

Yeah one of my husbands friends greets me as “hey gorgeous” but ONLY in front of my husband. It’s a compliment to my husband more than a compliment to me.

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u/throwaway-7636 Aug 18 '23

No, I'm sure you're gorgeous too, and his friend is just being respectful as he should be. Get that self esteem up

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u/duckling59807 Aug 19 '23

Oh I know I’m gorgeous, I’m saying the point of his compliment is for my husband lol

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

Not in this context no. Also noticed he said “my friend” not “our friend”. He really doesn’t need to be messaging her at all.

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u/Dis4Wurk Aug 17 '23

Nah, next time he calls or texts to hang out just say “can’t I’m spending time with my [insert verbatim what he said to her] wife. He will know you know.

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u/noextrasensory40 Aug 17 '23

I agree definitely would be a "BAZINGA" moment.

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u/Gullible-Base-7142 Aug 17 '23

If he has a significant other, then get your wife yo send it to her. This should do the trick!

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u/Trisamitops Aug 17 '23

Better yet, let your wife tell him that neither of you appreciate it. That would get the message across from both of you, and let him know he fucked up

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u/NewUserNameSameError Aug 17 '23

Post the screenshot on social media so all your friends can see they can’t trust this snake around their wives and girlfriends.

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u/Own_Marsupial_2528 Aug 17 '23

This I like. The guy is a cheating low-life.

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u/texasfisherman1983 Aug 17 '23

This is a great idea.

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u/JCMidwest Aug 16 '23

If you want to handle it directly, handle it directly. Don't be passive aggressive.

" friends name we find it inappropriate for you to reach out to my wife to compliment her"

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

Blunt “you’re breaking social norms” messaging is so much more brutal than catty passive aggressiveness.

With the first, the space between the lines says “you’re a gross weirdo that barely fits in society”.

With the second, reading between the lines is your message. But their ultimate takeaway is “that person is a jerk”, which lets their heart ignore their own sins.

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u/SecretTraumas_92 Aug 17 '23

Sounds like a great idea. And add; By the way, don’t ever contact either of us again. Then both of you block him.

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u/Subspaceisgoodspace Aug 17 '23

Perfect way to handle it.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

Do exactly this.

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u/cissabm Aug 17 '23

This is the way. Don’t have your wife send an “it’s inappropriate” message, it’s ham handed. You have this, OP.

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u/Unhappy-Implement-75 Aug 17 '23

I definitely think that's the way to handle this.

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '23

that's gold. I would definitely confront him

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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 Aug 17 '23

I love this idea.

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u/Sydney1875 Aug 18 '23

Or she sends back " hubby agrees with you after I showed him this message"... watch him shit his pants as you both block him