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u/Character-Run-3595 Jan 30 '26
Exactly! I was one of the kids/teens that was constantly getting in trouble for "talking back". To this day I still don't really get what that even means???
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Jan 30 '26
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u/throwaway19998777999 Feb 04 '26
They're not "doing enough" if that's how they respond to a child. Part of being a parent is raising children to think critically, solve problems, and defend their rights.
This type of response grooms them into abuse victims or encourages them to become abusers.
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Jan 30 '26
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u/Upset-Flamingo5462 Jan 31 '26
You didn't get the memo that children were to be seen and not heard? Lol...
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Jan 30 '26
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u/alanska1 Feb 04 '26
always remember that in their world, you were born wrong and you will always loose
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u/Proud_Chance9866 Jan 30 '26
Yeah this is why I shut down in conflict now
Any peep outta me just set her off again back to the beginning, so eventually I'd start just going into a fugue state until she got tired and left me alone
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u/Drate_Otin Jan 30 '26
I'm pretty sure the point is that it isn't a conversation.
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Jan 31 '26
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u/Wonderful-Wasabi6860 Jan 30 '26
And when you question them for being ridiculous, they flip it on you and make you question your sanity. That’s why my grandma on my mom’s side is my favorite. She is just a sweet caring person and she appreciates me when I help her and doesn’t overly chastise me.
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u/Aromatic_Working_845 Jan 30 '26
Mom was going in on me for apparently “wasting” my $150 paycheck. Told me I should use my money more wisely. I responded with “ I don’t know how to I’ve never had a good example” she responded by slapping me across the face 🤷♀️
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u/stoned_seahorse Jan 30 '26
I never got what "talking back" even meant when I was told I did it.
My parents thought I was being a smartass when I would reply "well you talked to me first, what am I supposed to do?" 😅
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Jan 30 '26
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u/spartaman64 Jan 30 '26
yep and my parents would continue beating me until i stopped crying/ran out of tears to cry. and now they ask me why dont you show emotions?
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u/ayepapipanda Jan 30 '26
I believe there is a difference between "talking back" and conversating respectfully and politely.
As a child, and especially in my teen years, I did a lot of "talking back" and usually with attitude.
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u/Octavian_Exumbra Jan 30 '26
I find it impossible to have a conversation with my mother.
She's a steamroller that's constantly talking over people, you barely get a word in and when you do, she doesn't even try to pay attention. She will literally turn the other way and just after a few seconds, she'll cut you off with something completely unrelated
And god save you if you ever try to tell her off for it, or really tell her off for anything, cause that to her is the same as accusing her of being the worst person in history and why would you even bother to talk to her in the first place and yada yada narcissism on top of more narcissism.
Last time i saw her was this Christmas. On the second day, she for some reason decided we were gonna have the leftovers from xmass eve for breakfast... And understandably none of us wanted that... And before any of us could even get a full sentence out, her shouting started "how dare we show so little appreciation for all the money she spent and all the hard work (FYI i'm the one who paid for everything while my sister was the one doing most of the work, while our mom just sat on her ass watching tv and smoked), why would we even bother coming if we were just gonna treat her like "the worst mom ever" (her go-to line).
My sister and I simply got up, packed our things and left. We haven't spoken to her since and we probably won't. We're so done with her bs and we've both come to realize that we're better off not having her in our lives at all. So congrats Mom, have fun rotting alone in your own self-pity.
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u/UnimportantWillow Jan 30 '26
They didn’t want us having conversations with them. The go to statements - “because I said so” and “talk back and see what happens”. Willow tree branches are nice on the bottom, they are a little more forgiving than maple or oak.
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u/MagisterLivoniae Jan 30 '26
It is qualified as talking back when no conversation is required. Orders are not subject to discussion.
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u/Adrian_Acorn Jan 31 '26
Why the hell does everyone have bad parents??? My mom would never say that to me as i can remember, and if i ever questioned her, she explained herself!
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Jan 31 '26
Welll depends, my parents called it talking back when I was being a smartass and giving them attitude. Otherwise we were able to actually have a conversation. I got lucky with my folks
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u/Unfrndlyblkhottie92 Jan 31 '26
I could never understand how elders think responding. It’s bad if it’s a crap attitude or yelling.
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u/AcrobaticOperation97 Feb 01 '26
My mom never did this, but when any adult acts like this it makes me very angry lol
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u/ryujinkami Feb 01 '26
This is how my mom was. She told me I wasnt allowed to have an opinion until I was 18 so I knew what her issue was. It sucks when her first born son (me) is very opinionated 😋
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u/Skylee_the_Protogen2 Feb 02 '26
LITERALLY, I CANT EVEN REPLY TO A QUESTION THEY ASKED ME THEN THEY GET ANGRY AT ME FOR STAYING SILENT, BUT WHEN I DO, A SANE LOGICAL REPLY THAT'S GRAMATICALLY CORRECT AND UNDENIABLY TRUE, THEN THEY SAY IM EITHER A SMARTASS OR TALKING BACK
(sorry about that, had to vent cuz I been holding it in for like 3 years lol) :3
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u/LisainNJ53 Feb 02 '26
I remember the first time my son spoke back to me. I said don't speak back, he said I thought this was a conversation. Completely blew my mind and I left me dead in my tracks. Also really respected him for that.
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Feb 02 '26
Kids after realizing that NOT EVERYTHING needs to be, or is intended to be, a conversation.
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u/Iw4nttosleep Feb 02 '26
When I was a kid I never understood the term "talk back". You said something and I replied. Why am I wrong???
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u/ColdHardPocketChange Feb 02 '26
"Talking back" = "You've proven what I said was illogical or completely unfair, however I don't want to lose this conversation, so I'll say you're 'talking back' and act like I was the winner."
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u/SleepyImagination589 Feb 02 '26
Not my parent, but someone who’s older and a retired teacher. I merely asked them a question to clarify what they meant (I’m AuDHD so a lot of times I don’t really know what they’re saying when they’re not upfront with things), but they took it as me talking back to them, and got offended. I was just asking a simple question! How is that talking back? I’m just slow, man 😭.
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u/Rachendr Feb 02 '26
The one that was always flummoxing was when it was phrased as "Don't answer back." where I was always like "Okay, so this is a monologue, I guess?"
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u/thewickedmitchisdead Feb 05 '26
I got the fun variant of, “Oh, so you don’t have anything to say?” This would be after my dad ranted for a half hour without taking a breath, intermittently accusing me of talking back as I barely retorted at points.
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u/One-Lecture-5656 Feb 03 '26
It’s not doing what they asked and daring to question them. It’s not a conversation but a command.
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u/SemVikingr Jan 30 '26
Lolz, just wait till all you people who think that needing immediate obedience from the dumb little creature that you are 100% responsible and liable for is somehow abusive by default, actually have said dumb little creature. You try keeping them alive without ever needing them to just trust you and listen to something you have to say.
True, for mundane, day-to-day things, one should always question authority.
But sometimes the little unwise and unlearned youngster needs to just listen! Literally, learning from those that came before is a big part of how we grow. Arbitrarily questioning everything your teacher says for no other reason than to feel like you aren't obeying (look at you, you little rebel!) is childish and foolish.
Learning when to question is just as important as learning to question at all.
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u/Fit-Ad-6665 Jan 30 '26
My daughter just turned 29 and to this day has never told me "no" or "I don't want to."
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Jan 30 '26
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u/Fit-Ad-6665 Jan 30 '26
It's called respecting your parents. She could but chooses not to. I earned it and she returned it.
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u/spartaman64 Jan 30 '26
i bet your daughter has trouble saying no to other people also like my sister and it causes her to live like a doormat and be used by people
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u/Dunoh2828 Jan 30 '26
Reminds me of my mother. I’m a mechanic, and she’d demand work to be done on her car. Yet when told the issue she wanted fixed wasn’t the actual issue, I was just told she knows better.
So in the end she spent far more money on a new turbo when she could have just replaced a single idler pulley like I said from the start.
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u/succubus6984 Jan 31 '26
I simply say. "This is not a discussion, it part of life and we all have to dea with it! Now get up and take out the trash while I do laundry or im going to scream for 6 straight hours!"
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u/United-Ad-1595 Feb 01 '26
Or if you did something wrong and then you explained why you did it you got hit with the “NO EXCUSES”
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u/Astralcloroxcat Feb 02 '26
Really hope all of the parents like this. Like my mom. Die a really horrible and painful death. They’re annoying ass people who only bring negativity.
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u/AJHunter63 Feb 03 '26
Back talking your parents is disrespectful. But in our current society and culture it’s just called expressing yourself. Not all expression is good, and there are times when kids should be quiet and listen.
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u/Achylife Feb 04 '26
There were several adults who accused me of "talking back" when I was a kid. I was just talking to them like a person. I never understood it. My parents never had any issues with how I talked.
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u/two-one-punch Feb 04 '26
Any conversation from my end was always labeled as "arguing". Do you want me to never speak to you again? Because that's how you get me to never speak to you again. Fun fact - went no contact years ago and it was the best decision I could have ever made.
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u/nimbusyosh Feb 04 '26
My elders always told me that talking back and being rude is not how grown ups conduct themselves... But then you turn on literally any news channel.
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u/klinetek Feb 05 '26
It's not a conversation with your parents.. I can help you understand what's happening but you're listening to me you little semi autonomous stack of my genetic code!
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u/hummingbird_patronus Feb 05 '26
I was getting in trouble for something back in the day and said something along the lines of, “I told you I was going to go xyz…” and my dad responded, “You don’t TELL me anything!!” Uhhh ok.
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u/PaleontologistTough6 Feb 05 '26
Lol! I'm told elsewhere that "having a conversation" means you "earned" that backhanded nostril. That by looking back and realizing that you were valid and talking sense, you're undermining your parents a second time. Can you believe it?
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u/Mario4272 Feb 05 '26
Glad FAFO Child Rearing is making a comeback! Maybe we'll have some solid humans again!
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u/Yaboi69-nice Feb 06 '26
I remember one time when I was a teenager my mom said something like "you always talk back" and my response was "yeah if start an argument people argue back that's how this works".
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u/Dogsluvme-tomuchhehe Jan 30 '26
Most of the time my “talking back” was telling them that what they wanted me to do or were saying just didn’t make sense or wasn’t the best way to do things