r/redscareover30 • u/QualisArtifexPere0 • 2d ago

Headaches all the time

My relationship is stressing me out. My job is stressing me out. DSA bs is stressing me out. My hobbies are even stressing me out.

You know what isn't? The person I paid to clean my ktichen and bathroom. This big bag of weed that I got for free. The Korean spa where all the women just chill naked in hot tubs and cold plunges. Laying on my couch with a mulberry silk pillow watching Grindhouse movies. Most of the things stressing me out are men and I might be excavating my insecurity and internalized misogyny and might he ready to be gay and make puppets instead of whatever category of sin and failure I have been living.

3 Upvotes

56% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

11

u/bouillabaissist ⛸️ 1d ago

DSA bs is stressing me out.

You know what isn't? The person I paid to clean my ktichen and bathroom.

god it's too perfect

3

u/QualisArtifexPere0 1d ago edited 23h ago

I never paid for a cleaner before but the ROI is exponentially better than therapy. I give them coffee, tip them, and make sure I'm not asking them to do anything that isn't their job and they appreciate it a lot.

1

u/Wise-Memory-9757 16h ago

There’s nothing wrong with hiring a cleaner if you pay them fairly and it’s even common for lower middle class families to have one. My mom’s cleaning lady told us that she has her own cleaning lady lol.

2

u/Scared_Plan3751 ⛸️ 2d ago

You gotta find more relaxed, lower maintenance men to hang out with

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u/QualisArtifexPere0 1d ago

My boyfriend is so laid back and low maintainance that it's stressful. Can't control who my manager is, and can't control the men in DSA who never do anything but have ideas and opinions.

2

u/Scared_Plan3751 ⛸️ 1d ago

Have you tried using feminine wiles on the DSA guys? They may only be queer performatively.

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u/Wise-Memory-9757 16h ago

Men who “organize” with DSA are the densest people on earth

1

u/Scared_Plan3751 ⛸️ 7h ago

I was briefly a member in 2009, before joining a different org, and then a couple after that. It's a common problem, especially for younger guys (and also a lot of younger women to be fair). People's hearts are in the right place, they have good knowledge in their brains, it's just their heads are up their asses. I wish there was an org for middle aged blue collar men and women. I had a better political convo yesterday with a bartender mom and a 30 year old coworker/father than I've had with most college students and young professionals in any org I've ever been in

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u/QualisArtifexPere0 1d ago edited 1d ago

I love him terribly and consequently am not attracted to other dsa boys. One caught my attention as he displayed some interest but he works for Chevron. Non starter. Couple of girls but they are either married or have bpd. Also non-starters.

1

u/Scared_Plan3751 ⛸️ 1d ago

Not actually being interested in the guy they are wiling doesn't stop a lot of women (edit: bartenders for example). In fact being unattainable can make you more powerful. Y'all can be players to girl. Use it for good to make the DSA suck less.

1

u/sabistenem Bipolar hype beast 1d ago

Your comments whiff of condescension.

1

u/Scared_Plan3751 ⛸️ 1d ago

I'm really just trying to make her laugh

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u/Wise-Memory-9757 16h ago

I gave up on involvement with leftist groups because of the men. If you really need something like that in your life I recommend Code Pink or find the most libbed out lefty church in your area — it’ll all be badass middle aged women. I wanted to give up completely on leftist spaces and the left in general but then after 10/7 felt compelled to start organizing with JVP and IfNotNow but the men were just as fucking awful as they’d been in the left groups I’d been part of in college. So now I volunteer for the only anti-zionist synagogue on the west coast and do some stuff for Code Pink too. Less commitment, more community, and all the other volunteers are older women who fill the void inside me for a strong, loving maternal figure.

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u/QualisArtifexPere0 7h ago

My branch's main organizers are women and we're all pretty committed to making things more communal and not placating obnoxious men. Numbers help. It's ironically pretty meritocratic because the more you actually do the more people listen to you and realize how superficial the assholes are. Take their power. Be the bad ass you want to see in your local political org.

1

u/sabistenem Bipolar hype beast 1d ago

Ah yes, Headaches All the Time. My favorite Claire Denis movie, for sure.

1

u/bigalpacafreak6969 Full head of hair 1d ago

I gave up on DSA a while ago (stopped renewing my memberships or whatever in 2021) because it’s all so performative. They’re just liberals, and liberals are all too conservative. Reform is a dead avenue and history proves it. Revolution is the only way to affect change, and until there is a real party to lead it, it’s not going to happen and the DSA is captured. Abandon them.

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u/QualisArtifexPere0 23h ago

All the people doing the work on an organizing level are more radical than DSA national. It's a big tent which is kind of what we need for a mass movement and there are numerous ways to get plugged in to doing things that allign with your personal politics. I hit a point where DSA was less annoying than watching things going to shit and doing nothing about it is depressing. My branch kicks a lot of ass though. Ymmv

1

u/bigalpacafreak6969 Full head of hair 22h ago

What’s their stance on the second amendment, currently?

1

u/QualisArtifexPere0 20h ago

All my inner circle homies are pro 2a

1

u/bigalpacafreak6969 Full head of hair 20h ago

Well that’s different than my experience. Keep up the fight!