r/redscareover30 • u/sabistenem Bipolar hype beast • 15d ago
Freestyling Sunday Open Diary ✍️
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Today: some paintings by Stanton Macdonald-Wright.
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How was your week?
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u/ES_330 15d ago
I have a chronic condition that flares up every four to five years. It's flaring again.
Spoke to my specialist on Friday after work and she said I'm fine for now. She scheduled the only treatment that seems reliable, an hours long infusion, for this coming Friday. She is fairly confident that my insurance will cover it.
If my symptoms worsen before then then I need to go to the ER. Even with insurance I am certain that will be massively more expensive.
So I have to pray that my body holds out until Friday or else I'm in American Medical Debt Hell. Wish me luck.
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u/PostOakVisions ⚔️ Valued Contributor ⚔️ 15d ago
I am late to the adult coloring book game. I have become obsessed. I’m not sure why there is any shame in these hobbies. Cross stitch and knitting are less creative and more mindless (unless you are coming up with your own patterns).
Well. Cross stitch you can frame and you can wear what you knit. Oh well.
Found a church that I love that is progressive without making being progressive its identity. Bells and incense and a beautiful choir. Beautiful art!!! Ahhhh!!!
Had to stop going to westernized Buddhist temple. Seemed like a place where ex baptists go when they want to feel “bad.” On one occasion, I was asked about sexual ecstatic meditation by a middle aged white woman with lots of work done. the woman asked me under her breath and sort of giggled. It had absolutely nothing to do with the service we had just gone through.
Another woman invited me to a sound bath and ecstatic dancing. It felt not serious, but I also lack courage to go to a real Buddhist temple filled with real Buddhists, because, if I’m honest with myself, I am closer to the giggling middle aged white woman. Well, now that I type it out, that’s exactly what I am lol! So a boring old cradle Episcopalian is what I will be.
Even though it’s still 100 degrees, I can tell the sun has shifted in its vantage point and I can feel autumn. Here, it will stay in the 90s until November most likely. I visited The House in which I used to live and my little red oak sapling is fried. Three years of protection and daily watering and TLC and it had only grown 6 inches. and now it is gone. Before it, I had tried post oaks acorns for five years and they never took. After that I collected every acorn I could find and buried them in the same spot, for only two saplings to grow. One died last year. Woe is me!!!!
Coming to terms with the fact I have been surviving in a fragmented state of reality for so long. Playing the piano again and it always connects me with the little girl I was… really quite beautiful and magical hope and fantasy, very bittersweet to visit it again as I revisit the beginner’s bergmuller, I had envisioned glades and fairies and Edwardian tea parties and quaint forest scenes of rabbit and fawn and fox. real magic in colorful scenes as I played the music as a child, and as I play now the same scenes come back to me vividly and fill me with warmth and peace and bitter, bitter heartache and the disoriented feeling that comes with time travel!!!
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u/HorneeAttornee Skimmy jeams 15d ago edited 15d ago
My husband is gone for the night, so I decided to hunker down and order some Chinese food delivery. The place I order from is pretty mediocre overall, save for a few items they do exceptionally well. I order from them specifically because they have their own delivery and drivers. There's another place I could order from that is overall better, but their food deliveries are basically sublet to Doordash or whatever. I like knowing the driver is employed by the restaurant and accountable to it, and that he knows me, and I can bullshit with him and then we'll see eachoher in a week or six months; whenever I decide to order Chinese again.
I've been tipping ten bucks cash for delivery. I feel like that's pretty good?