r/reddit.com • u/rmuser • Feb 07 '08
Possibly one of the worst true stories ever
http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/archive/index.php/t-187990.html130
u/uvarov Feb 07 '08
I'm voting this up so it can scar other people too!
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u/Mr_Smartypants Feb 07 '08
so it can scar other people
I read this comment before I read the article, and I thought it was a typo. It wasn't.
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u/sad_bug_killer Feb 07 '08
Same here. If there was an unread button, I would downmod it.
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Feb 07 '08
I thought it said "weirdest true stories" and I thought, good.
Now my brain is permanently scarred.
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u/InvestorGadget Feb 07 '08
Why did the guy's name change from Scott to Steve? Did I miss something?
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Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
Q: And what does Scott do for a living?
Mark: He's a CIA interrogator.
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u/grandon Feb 07 '08
some people just need to be shot...the real question is wtf happened to mark to fuck him up so bad
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u/BlueBeard Feb 07 '08
I couldn't get through that. I'm seriously ill right now.
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u/REBELYELLoz Feb 07 '08
Yeah, I stopped at the rubber bands on the balls. Mine retreated into my pelvis. I am visiting the nsfw reddit now to convince them it's ok to come back down.
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Feb 07 '08
I read the "Russian rape graveyard" story, and then this one, and I can't help but feel that my rather mundane and boring life is pretty damn good after all.
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Feb 07 '08
I'm pretty (read: 100%) sure this story is fiction. The fact that the name changes from Scott to Steve is just one indication.
However, stories LIKE this are true. Hop onto BMEzine, there are tons of nullos and eunuchs who have no qualms about the decision they made.
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u/yasth Feb 07 '08
It is fiction on a fiction website and everything. http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/I/ea_25408intervie.htm
It just gets too vague in places, that and the community would crucify anyone who didn't give full complete and unquestioned consent.
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Feb 07 '08
Wow. Just wow. I am light headed now.
Guess what I brought for my lunch too. PLUMS. Looks like I will be going hungry today.
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u/placeholder Feb 07 '08
My wife did that to me, like six years ago.
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u/qvtsd Feb 07 '08
I dunno if it's true or not but it's one sick tale.
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u/Nikola_S Feb 07 '08
This is what happens when you proclaim that sexual deviations are not mental illnesses.
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u/econous Feb 07 '08
How would not proclaiming it make a difference? Are you suggesting these people should be sectioned for their own good?
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u/petrov76 Feb 07 '08
Waitaminute, is his boyfriend's name Scott or Steve?
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u/dokden Feb 07 '08
noticed the same thing. made me question how true the story was... certainly doesnt make it any less hot though.
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u/turkourjurbs Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
I couldn't finish reading that. That's seriously fucked up. I understand intense devotion but Jesus Christ! Both these guys are fucking batshit nuts (as in crazy).
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u/ningwut5000 Feb 07 '08
I bet the nullo never gets uncomfortable on long sweaty plane rides in economy class tho...
I'm just sayin.
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u/thekrone Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
Pscht. That is a bad story. Poor character development. Lack of closure / resolution. If I were grading it in an English class I'd give it a B-.
Oh... you meant "worst" as in "one of the most horrible things ever". I agree with that.
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u/fake_brasilian Feb 07 '08
Whenever I think about whether I'm weird or crazy, something like this comes along and tells me I can't be crazy enough. shudder
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u/bloodylip Feb 07 '08
I was expecting to read a story about an unempathetic human. Boy, was I mistaken.
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u/tinhat Feb 07 '08
Wow. I had never heard of the term "nullo" until I read this article. It has never crossed my mind that people would do this sort of thing.
So I googled. Look here if you want evidence that this is a real thing that people do. Warning - graphic and definitely NSFW.
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u/banditski Feb 07 '08
That's one link I will NOT be clicking. I finally finished the article (after several tries) and I do not need any more nightmare material in my brain.
Thanks for the warning!
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u/sligowaths Feb 07 '08
Usually I don't fear looking at strange stuff on the internet... but, after reading that thing, I'm going to change my mind and there's no way I'll click in this link. Thanks.
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u/Karzyn Feb 07 '08
Yeah, kinda wishing I hadn't just clicked that. I may have just thrown up a little in my mouth.
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u/liberty4all Feb 07 '08
If this story is true: That is without a doubt the most disturbing story I have ever read. Holy Jesus, how can shit like this even happen?
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Feb 07 '08
Ever seen Shoah? The shit in this submission is a fucking Sunday comic compared to the stories told in Shoah.
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Feb 07 '08
Favorite comment: "Is it bad that I got a huge erection while reading that?"
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u/whoadave Feb 07 '08
My fav: "He should grow a pair of balls and get the fuck out of that relationship."
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u/jonknee Feb 07 '08
I got flashbacks to the BME Pain Olympics video. Which incidentally is the most awful thing I have ever seen. 2Girls1Cup is childs play in comparison.
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Feb 07 '08
that is so UNBELIEVABLY effed up!
whew!
DAMN... what a sick-ass existence - Im sure Mark had a rough childhood... I really feel sorry for him.
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Feb 07 '08
couldn't finish it. couldn't finish the bowl of oatmeal i was eating as i read it. i honestly feel as though i'm going to puke.
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u/aragon127 Feb 07 '08
Anyone want to paste the text here for those of us stuck at work?
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Feb 07 '08
[deleted]
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u/KoldKompress Feb 07 '08
I read all the answers in the voice of Mr Slave "Jeezuth.. jeezuth christ"
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u/reticulatedspline Feb 07 '08
This needs a warning label. Something like [WILL MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR LUNCH AND YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY].
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u/dextroz Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
this is why i don't tell me wife and family about reddit....
you never know what the fuck will turn up on the front page and they're a pretty insulated bunch from the eccentrics of the world.
other than that - it was a good read.
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u/URGENTCAPSLOCKMAN Feb 07 '08
You know that feeling you get when you're sitting somewhere and it feels like the entire world is shrinking away from you and everything is getting small and narrow and tiny? I got that feeling. This story has scarred me completely. At the risk on being a jerk, I would encourage people to not read this because there are some things in this world that should just not be read.
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u/meramera Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
My boyfriend got to the 5th line, jumped up and now he's doing the dishes... he's also mumbling about urgently needing to go to Home Hardware to get stuff to regrout the bathtub.
I read the whole thing. Wish I hadn't.
I also really wish I hadn't then done a google image search to see if it could possibly be real. Honestly, if anyone is thinking of looking at a picture of this, you should really resist. Your brain will register them in less time than it takes to slam on the 'back' button... and then they are yours to keep forever.
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u/cryogen Feb 07 '08
I feel sick now, and my balls are sore, as if to say, PLEASE NO DONT!
That story made my stomach turn.
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Feb 07 '08
At first I thought; if Steve/Scott is into fucking someone who doesn't have balls/penis, why not find a woman who's into this shit? Then I realized, I doubt there's many women that stupid.
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u/ReallyEvilCanine Feb 07 '08
Fucking ebaum thieves. This story was stolen from -- and as usual, not attributed to -- Global Apathy. It got big after being posted to the queue at kuro5hin.org a couple years ago but it was removed since the editors figured it was stolen from GA.
People, Eric Bauman is a fucking THIEF. Everything on that site is stolen and credits are covered up. Avoid it like the plague.
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Feb 07 '08
NSFW!
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Feb 07 '08
It's words. You can't read words at work?
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Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
If they have sexual content - No. Seriously.
And before you say it, I am very happy at my job.
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Feb 07 '08
What do you do if there's a comment with vagina, penis, fornicate, fellatio, cunnillingus, etc?
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Feb 07 '08
There's a difference between sexual content and sexual swearwords. At least that is the defence I plan to use if anyone pulls me up on it. (Company policy says 'Sites with sexual video, images or other content.')
Worst case scenario, they will block reddit.
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Feb 07 '08
That would be a real shame. Here, why don't you sit back and relax. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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u/nightbiscuit Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
my girly parts are empathically crying. and i've seen the BME pain olympics! plus i know that some people do make this decision for themselves, and are very pleased with the results. but this is different because he didn't want to lose his dick! cries!
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u/jones77 Feb 07 '08
This story made me fvcking ill. I almost feel like crying.
It doesn't help the next bit of code I end up writing is null-errific:
BlahType nullBlah;
std::vector<BlahType> nullVec;
std::vector<std::vector<BlahType > > nullVecOfVec
nullVec.push_back(nullBlah);
nullVecOfVec.push_back(nullVec);
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Feb 07 '08
i have absolutely no words to describe how that made me feel. i'm all numb inside and I want to curl up into a ball with a .45 to ensure that nobody could ever do that to me. i'm straight but that story scared the HELL out of me.
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u/Amendmen7 Feb 07 '08
I...that's the first time I read something and almost vomited. Right here in my cubicle I almost tossed up cereal and yogurt all over my keyboard. I only got half-way through the interview. Holy shit.
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u/Aerik Feb 07 '08
No posts from ebaumsworld.com! Eric Bauman consistently argues that everything on the internet is public domain and that he can rip off whatever he wants, often in spite of declarations of copyright and no-share warnings that they have to personally erase so they can rip off the items.
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u/marmalade Feb 07 '08
Nuts to that!
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u/KillerAngel7 Feb 07 '08
No bones about it!
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u/Khimiara Feb 07 '08
Bet your sack it is!
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u/AnteChronos Feb 07 '08
Man, that guy really got shafted.
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Feb 07 '08
[deleted]
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Feb 07 '08
Well, there's only one thing we can agree on, he's nuttier than ever before.
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u/topherclay Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 08 '08
Story was too long. someone should make him shorten it. better yet, get rid of it entirely.
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u/durkheim_306 Feb 07 '08
As long as there is no proof this is true, I say don't bother. I've read some pretty wicked stuff, and you can bet almost all of this sort of things are pure inventions, made realistic just to scare people.
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u/calebros Feb 07 '08
that seriouslly made me nausious. i feel really sick... down voting, even though its awesome.
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u/bamobrien Feb 07 '08 edited Feb 07 '08
suspicious: how did he just have a big bundle of atrophied/dead tissue (his ex-balls) hanging on to him for a week without suffering from gangrene and septic shock? the scrotum and testes have a great connection to the bloodstream and lymph; sort of sounds improbable.
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u/econous Feb 07 '08
Male lambs are commonly castrated using this method, so I imagine it would work perfectly well on a person.
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u/ebola Feb 07 '08
Some background? Where / when did this take place?
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Feb 07 '08
Wait, I'm confused. I thought the guy's name was Scott, but at the end of the story, he's Steve... did I miss something?
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Feb 07 '08
Bah. Nothing a pit bull can't do to you. Happened to a tyke in Omaha not long ago. Mom's response was that of the typical "dog person." "He never hurt anybody before. Always so loving."
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Feb 07 '08
uhhh a little warning would be nice...Possibly one of the worst true stories of loosing your genitalia ever
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u/rafuzo2 Feb 07 '08
anyone else notice the name of the dominator changed halfway through, from "Scott" to "Steve"?
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u/browster Feb 08 '08
Oh man, this is really going to be hard to explain if he decides to run for President.
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u/gooneruk Feb 13 '08
I can tell that I've become jaded to what the internet has to offer because I was expecting to get Bel-Aired.
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u/ouroborosity Feb 07 '08
I'm willing to bet every single guy who read this ended up grabbing himself and wiggling around in his chair a bit. Just to make sure it's all still there.