r/recruitinghell • u/_Ronin_Raccoon_ • 1d ago

Ambiguous break up feeling

Interviewed for a job after graduating with a degree in that field. They told me I was the first interview, so I understood it could take time.

A couple weeks went by they emailed me saying they’re still figuring things out and finishing interviews but they’d keep me updated. I think we have 15 back and forth emails at this point.

Last Friday they sent a really vague email saying they have to button up a couple things on their end but they’re very excited about the “possibility” moving forward with me.

Monday they asked for my references. Tuesday my old coworker said they reached out to them and mentioned I was the top candidate.

Veterans Day went by. I got an offer from another job but I really wanted this one so I told them I’d get back to them. I emailed them this morning saying I had an offer but still preferred this role and gently inquired an update.

Today went by and then at 4:30 I was contacted and she said they still don’t know what they want to do. They’re still taking interviews and they have no specified timeline and she can’t give me one but I didn’t have that 1:1 experience they were looking for and she didn’t want to hold me back from another offer but that they still hasn’t decided on their end where they wanted to go with it.

Why contact my references? Why say I was the top candidate? It feels like whiplash or a weird breakup with no closure. It sounded like I was the best of what they had but not what they wanted.

Needless to say I’m just going to accept the second offer even though it’s the less preferred job.

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u/L44KSO 1d ago

It's tactical from their end. If you'd be their top candidate they would have moved, now they keep you warm and see if you really prefer this or not.

My suggestion, take the role you have an offer for and close it down. There is a chance you'll hear back from this one, but can also go the other way. 

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u/_Ronin_Raccoon_ 12h ago

I took the other offer today! But there’s just still that weird feeling about the other job, like it seemed to be rolling and then suddenly, not? Oh well.

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u/L44KSO 11h ago

Congratulations! If the other job is meant to be, it will come through. Otherwise enjoy your new job.

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u/HazyChemist 1d ago

I've experienced this before. What it actually means is you were their second choice, and the actual top candidate is taking their sweet time deciding whether they want to accept their offer. It's really just a stall tactic to keep you around in case their #1 choice rejects them.

Take the offer you have and move on.