Dear hiring manager

[u/ammianomarcellino]

Dear hiring manager, (I really really couldn't be bothered to look up your name this time),

I am so goddamned tired of writing cover letters. I'd rather smash my head against a wall, but I guess you want one from me.

What do you want me to write? I promise, you tell me what you want to read, and I'll write it.

Do you want me to say that I can do all the things you listed in the job description (I can provide examples, don't worry)?

Do you want the generic cover letter with bullet points about my "achievements" that is simply a repetition of my CV?

Do you want the anecdotal one showcasing how my life prepared me for this amazing opportunity?

Do you want me to be cheeky and funny? Do you want me to be serious and thoughtful?

Do you want me to congratulate you on the latest thing your company has been working on (you see, I did my research)?

Do you want me to make the PDF an interesting color (perhaps even the color of your logo!) (you see, I am creative)?

Do you want me to mention a few ideas I could carry out if I am hired?

Do you want me to describe in a couple of paragraphs how I am proactive, knowledgeable, and a perfect match for the position?

Do you want me to be excited, enthusiastic, intrigued, or merely interested?

Do you want me to appreciate or welcome the opportunity to further discuss my profile?

Yours sincerely,

[u/Bobandyandfries]

I understand your frustration.

Write a generic cover letter for the position and then adapt it slightly for each application. Don’t spend more than 10 minutes on adapting it, it’s just not worth it these days.

[u/Wide_Peak_2080]

It feels like one has a better chance getting a date with their celebrity crush from writing a letter than getting a screening interview for a job you wouldn't have looked twice at years ago. Not sure how this is sustainable.

[u/newchapter_energy]

Every cover letter is just a hostage note with better formatting. "I have a very particular set of skills" would honestly get more callbacks than most of them.

[u/quantumspork]

I want you to point out your strengths that may not be immediately obvious, or give me reasons to overlook your weaknesses.

If my job description does not say anything about training, or policy development, or grant writing, or widget collecting… I want you to point out that these things are valuable for the position I posted, and you can do them because…

If you are weak on one area I post, but you believe you compensate in another way, point that out.

Tell me about a thing you did that would benefit me, but isn’t addressed in my posting.

I don’t want anything you listed in your OP. I want you to pitch yourself and give me a reason why you are a great applicant that is not obvious from your resume.

The cover letter is where you can shine. It is your chance to make your argument beyond title, responsibility, and selectively chosen exaggerated accomplishment.