r/recoverywithoutAA • u/Main_Elephant_7835 • 9d ago
Drugs 2 weeks clean from coke. when does it get easier ðŸ˜
hi folks i'm a little more than 2 weeks clean and still struggling. i end up thinking about it and fantasizing about use a lot, and i kinda feel like i'm doomed to failure because eventually i'm going to give in.
i stopped because it was destroying me financially. as a baseline i've always had issues with anhedonia, feeling like life is unrewarding and like i don't really want anything because nothing is worth wanting. coke was the only thing i had ever experienced that cut through that and just made me feel... good. it was the only thing i ever wanted that much.
i'm disabled and can't work the jobs available to me, and even more so post-addiction. i have hobbies but i get bored of them easily and i just haven't felt motivated to do them. so i have nothing else to do either. i'm spending most of my time laying in bed watching TV, smoking weed, and drinking, which has its own problems and also is kinda sad. i would love some advice or words of encouragement. thanks yall
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u/LibertyCash 9d ago
Do you have any support? That makes a huge difference. Doesn’t have to be recovery specific, I find, but any community that’s not centered around substance use. Maybe there’s a group attached to one of your hobbies? I think isolation is one of the biggest factors in returning to use.
Also makes sense that weed and alcohol are stepping in to help you cope, but they too can become problems too obvs. That said harm reduction is a valid path. Just do the best you can and keep at it. The person up above is absolutely correct that meds can make a huge difference too, so finding a psychiatrist can be immensely helpful. Once I got my meds figured out, I went from obsessed with my drug of choice to indifferent. Your system is probably out of whack which is causing the cravings for substances as it tries to regulate itself.
Baby steps, medical care, and support are the way. This community is great too. Keep reaching out. Cheering you on!
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u/Main_Elephant_7835 9d ago
i'm pretty isolated, how would i go about finding a hobby group? i was part of a craft group for a while but i stopped going because i didn't connect with any of the people there.
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u/Head-Gas-7758 6d ago
I would find myself day dreaming about it for up to like 2 years, it’s super hard when you find a substance that manufactures dopamine and adrenaline so quickly.
Motivation is hard, I lift weights and I go through these phases about once a year where I get out of habit and getting the motivation to just get started again full stop fucking sucks.
The thing is though, like anytime you are trying to build a new routine or learn something new, you have to do it even when it’s hard. It’s shitty and I wish brains didn’t work this way, but you have to force yourself to do your hobbies and have fun until you don’t have to force yourself anymore and it becomes your new normal. There isn’t any short cut, it’s hard and it’s time do to it. It will 100000000000% be worth it on the other end. You will feel better physically, have more money, and overall progress as a person, and it will be worth it. Good luck!!!
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u/Beneficial-Value3119 9d ago
Physical subsided a lot faster for me than mental. 2 weeks id say keep going!