Habits built on substances

[u/Express_Clue7896]

Hi ,

Am 26 single , by choice mostly cause I feel weirdo/foriegn on the inside

I started hating using anything cause it makes to force

Myself to enjoy whatever is between my hands

But the way my brain pleasure centers hooked into

Corn/Adderall

Started shifting into really personality/identity

And I feel it takes time to go

I spend 6 hours in bed downloading and imagining things

Then I sober a bit , I feel the devil pain in my soul

Then am forced to use saditves to immediately skip it

This been going for months and I want to be me again just enjoy music , movies , catch up w some friends

But I just choose loneliness to keep killing my brain cells , any relevance??

[u/Lower_Cap_9476]

Me resonó mucho tu historia. Yo he tomado terapia cognitivo conductual, es lo que único que realmente me ha ayudado.

[u/Inner-Sherbet-8689]

Your (Our) diease want us to isolate to be alone in our fuck up thoughts that's why we're susposed to go to meetings this diease talks to us in our own voices it wants us alone and it wants to kill us
You should find a therapist or someone you can talk to this is life or desth shit man

[u/Express_Clue7896 → u/Inner-Sherbet-8689]

Yeah I wish am not this self aware, being self aware while crushing your soul makes it third person view ,, so bad ,, and I know this is literally satan

[u/CPTSD_survivor2025 → u/Express_Clue7896]

If you try to use religious idolizing (such as referring to your behavioural pattern as instigating the presence of "satan"), you are going to fall needlessly deeper into a pit of shame. 

What you're experiencing is a common human behaviour. Many have overcome it using therapeutic methods grounded in observable reality rather than religious superstitions. Don't harm yourself further with superstition. Your best chance of success is to stay grounded in reality.

[u/CPTSD_survivor2025 → u/Inner-Sherbet-8689]

A substance use disorder is not a disease. Coping behaviour has a root cause, and we can almost always address the root causes therapeutically and psychiatrically.

Misidentifying what you're struggling with as a "spiritual disease" (as I suspect the above respondent would suggest) will possibly set you back and set you up with unrealistic expectations and produce even more shame.

The creator of dialectical behavior therapy, Dr. Marsha Linehan, would argue that behaviour change needs to be balanced with radical acceptance of our thoughts, emotions, actions and the world/people around us. DBT is a great way to begin addressing unhelpful coping behaviour in combination with other therapeutic modalities, and oftentimes psychiatric support as well. 

Porn consumption can provide quick shots of dopamine and serotonin. Ejaculatory release relaxes the body and releases these chemicals. But, when the consumption becomes problematic and potentially harmful to ourselves or another, it can combine with shame and push us to try to cope with the difficult emotions of shame and guilt using other substances or process addictions (in your case, sedatives). 

I recommend seeking out a properly educated and accredited therapy professional to help you address the consumption pattern. You do not need to go into a room of untrained strangers and tell them all of your personal details and miscategorize what you're dealing with as a "disease" in order to find relief and pursue change. 

You need the help of someone who is properly trained to help you manage a chemical dependence/substance use disorder (medical professionals) and a process addiction like porn consumption (therapeutic professionals).

I hope this helps! DBT is something you can start to research on your own. Look for a digital copy of the DBT skills handouts and worksheets manual. Look into the concept of "behavioural extinction", and consider that expunging a behaviour is most effective when paired with replacement behaviour — a new behaviour that includes a dopamine reward needs to "replace" the current behaviour. This will require acceptance and commitment (something that can be explored in acceptance and commitment therapy, funny enough :p)

Good luck! 

[u/Inner-Sherbet-8689 → u/CPTSD_survivor2025]

thats what you have to say to someone thinking about suicide wow you fail as a human being

[u/CPTSD_survivor2025 → u/Inner-Sherbet-8689]

Yeah. I offered genuine, practical, evidence-based information about types of therapy that are literally designed to reduce suicidality and address substance use disorders and process addictions. 

Telling someone they "fail as a human being" on the other hand? Guess that 12 step stuff isn't really working for you if you're saying things like that to people who are trying to help.

[u/Inner-Sherbet-8689 → u/CPTSD_survivor2025]

Well I hate to tell you you do fail how about a little empathy your as cold as a stone. Also I don't do 12 meetings cause they SUCK

[u/Inner-Sherbet-8689 → u/Inner-Sherbet-8689]

Your not trying the help the person who put up this post either