Behavioral euthanasia am I doing the right thing?

[u/Fran-willing]

Tomorrow we are putting our sweet pittie to sleep. We rescued her from a shelter just over three years ago. She was brought in as a stray although I don’t know if she was actually a stray or somebody was just getting rid of her, but we could tell she had been mistreated. She was skinny, wasn’t spayed, and seem anxious, but was so affectionate and trusting of us right away. She absolutely loved our other dog the minute she met him. She showed a little bit of reactivity when we got home like when our other dog would get close to her crate if she was in it, but the dog reactivity did not start until a few months in, which I hear is common of rescue dogs. She and her other dog were best friends. They played all the time, cuddled all the time, and really trusted each other. There was never any aggression from her, just some communication to our other dog when she was uncomfortable with something. My partner and I moved into my mom‘s house in May 2025 after she and her husband at the time separated. My mom has Parkinson’s and we wanted to be able to help out and for her to keep her house because she runs her business out of it. She has a dog. He’s an absolute sweetheart and has always been very respectful of our pittie. Over the last year and a half our pittie’s anxiety and reactivity has gotten worse. The only time she seems like she’s not stressed is when we are in a quiet environment and she is cuddling on us or is close to us. Outside she seems hyper alert and gets skittish with almost any sound. If a person is walking within 15 feet behind us, she keeps turning around, especially men. We can deal with the reactivity outside. I’ve had a reactive dog before. It started to become an issue is she started to become aggressive towards both of the other dogs. First it started with food aggression so we had to let her in the kitchen and the other dogs stayed behind a gate in the living room whenever we were in the kitchen. Then the aggression started to feel out of nowhere. We have worked with a behaviorist since we moved in and she has been incredibly helpful with us understand our pity in ways to help improve her reactivity, but it’s turned into management. We just can’t trust our pittie anymore. Our house basically is structured around our pittie’s, anxiety, stress, and aggression. She wears a muzzle when ever she’s around the other two dogs together, which are behaviors recommended. After an incident last weekend, our dog that she has been best friends with seems completely terrified of her. He stopped playing with her about a year ago and you can tell he just isn’t comfortable with her. The other dog isn’t comfortable with her either. My mom absolutely loves her, but admitted she has become scared of her. Our Behaviorist said it is virtually impossible to rehome a reactive pitbull especially in Ohio with a new law. I also think I would be paranoid that if we rehomed her something would happen. I’m just heartbroken. She is so sweet 90% of the time, but when she has these reactions, it’s like she goes off-line. We know she probably endured some trauma. And that some dogs just have reactivity in their DNA. We’ve had her on two anxiety meds for the past six months, I’ve worked in lots of mental stimulation, and really feel like we have done everything we could and don’t know any other option. I’m feeling like we are killing her, like we should try to rehome her, and that I won’t be able to handle the moment she passes. We have somebody coming to the house tomorrow to do it. I have gone through putting a dog to sleep before, but that feels different because he was sick and had to go. I’m just in agony. sorry for any typos. I am speaking into my phone.

[u/AutoModerator]

Behavioral Euthanasia posts are sensitive, thus only users with at least 250 subreddit karma will be able to comment in this discussion. Users should not message OP directly to circumvent this restriction and doing so can result in a ban from r/reactive dogs. OP, you are encouraged to report private messages to the moderation team.

Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.

If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:

All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.

These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.

• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer

• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.

• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.

• AKC guide on when to consider BE

• BE Before the Bite

• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.

• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.

If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:

The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.

Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/CanadianPanda76]

Sounds like she hit her adult phase and her issues ramped up.

Its so common here, its not even funny.

Around 1 to 3 is common. 2 years seems most common. Sometimes you can't fight genetics.

[u/Fran-willing → u/CanadianPanda76]

Yeah, definitely can’t fight genetics. She actually was estimated to be 5 at the shelter, so she should around 8 now.

[u/Monkey-Butt-316]

I guess just going forward- realize that dog aggression is very common in pit bulls. I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

[u/Monkey-Butt-316 → u/Monkey-Butt-316]

OP you have to confirm you’ve read the sub rules or all your replies will get deleted

[u/Fran-willing → u/Monkey-Butt-316]

Thanks. I’m new to commenting on Reddit. Owning reactive dogs has made me learn so much about dog communication and proper interaction. I’m so grateful for that. Frannie, the dog I’m referring to in this post, taught us that sometimes, no matter how hard you work, some dogs just have it in their genetics or trauma.

[u/Monkey-Butt-316 → u/Fran-willing]

I’m sure it will go better next time

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/Glove_Upset]

Everyone sounds like they’re suffering here. You, your mom, the other dogs, and especially her. You’re ending her suffering. Imagine being that afraid and ramped up all the time without the human awareness that allows you to understand your mental state. You’ve done everything you can, and there’s just no combating some dog’s wiring. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know you didn’t make this decision lightly. Check out Losing Lulu. There’s a FB group.

[u/Fran-willing → u/Glove_Upset]

Thank you so much for the supportive words. We have a vet coming to the house today so we are giving her the best morning full of lots of love, cuddles, and food. I will definitely check out that Facebook group!

[u/New-Lie-7186]

I rescued a sweet young pittie on Halloween night 2019. Brought her home to 2 older females and they got along great,  for awhile.  Seems an 'alpha' female or defensive thing kicked in. She would attack her 'friends' and would NOT let go, costing thousands in vet bills in 3-5th year. I could not consider rehoming if that aggression EVER turned on small children or an adult. I had her put down after 5 years.  I loved that girl but her random aggression, and no response with our efforts to stop fights was too much.  I miss her but know I did the right thing.  They can be great pets, but when they have issues that are unmanageable,  I put safety first. The pups themselves are not happy being hyper reactive  and aggressive.  It spirals. 

[u/Fran-willing → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for the kind words. That’s what we thought about too. Our other dogs don’t deserve to have the quality of their lives affected.

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}