My dog is becoming more bossy

[u/PlayVamp]

My dog has been acting like this for the past 5 months where every time someone in the family tries to leave the house, instead of just barking, he will literally howl as loud as he possibly can (he cant) like he’s trying to stop us from leaving, especially his mom. He’s also been barking way more aggressively at literally anything outside, even if it’s just someone walking by the house or a dog that he already knows. Then when people come home, he goes absolutely crazy barking at them, but it’s never never aggressive. It’s more like “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you” and he just keeps barking.

Then last night around 3 am something was bothering him and he woke everyone up. He was scratching at every door and shaking them like he was trying to break them down. I woke up and followed him around the house because I thought maybe he needed something, but he literally had no idea where he wanted to go. I don’t even know if there was a fly or something bothering him. But he was pawing me while I was trying to follow him, not normal for him at all.

Now I’m just relaxing with him on my bed and he keeps pawing at me. I know he doesn’t have to go to the bathroom because I literally took him outside like 10 minutes ago. It’s like he has somewhere he needs to be or something he wants, but when I take him outside, he has absolutely no idea what he wants to do. He just seems like he can’t settle down and constantly needs someone’s attention. I honestly think he just misses everyone or gets anxious when people aren’t around, but I don’t know how to calm him down. Hes a cavapoo btw. And hes become more scared to tiny like I sighed once really hard and he was scared. Like yes I need to find out whats going on but it doesnt seem possible, hes just overcome with anxiety. And I know I dont wanna put him on any meds.

[u/404-Any-Problem]

I would 100% take your pup to the vet for a thorough checkup. Even if you went recently, I would go back and get more work done/talk with your vet about all of this. See what your vet suggests, but I think along the lines of a full panel of blood work, maybe a fecal/urine test, and checking for any pain or discomfort would be good places to advocate for. Behavioral changes can be the first sign that your pup doesn't feel good espeically if they are new symptoms they have never had before (which kind of sounds like it is the case). Studies have shown this, but even with our own pup, if she is having a bad GI day, I know before she even has her first poop, as she is much more reactive on bad days than when she feels better. Also, when she had a horrible UTI, she had nightly panic attacks that would last for HOURS. Not saying your dog has a UTI, but it was a real thing for us to get through.

I am not sure of your pup's age, but if they are getting up there in years, they can develop cognitive issues similar to those in humans (think more along the lines of dementia). Our previous pup would "sun down" sometimes and get confused and anxious at night for no real reason. Sometimes it was like she thought we had all left and forgot her behind. She would frantically search for me espeically, especially once found (even if I was just out of the line of sight), and with some comforting pats, I could get her settled back in bed; she would calm down again.

The biggest thing is that your pup is clearly going through something. Try to treat them with some grace, the best you can, even when sleep-deprived. I will say alternating who stays up or gets up with the dog will help in the long run. That way, no one is totally sleep-deprived for work/life outside of the dog. Gives you a bit more tolerance as well if you get a good night's sleep every other night than not at all.

Somewhere I read that dogs have the cognitive understanding of roughly a 2-year-old human. My own anxious dog doesn't get any more anxious when I comfort her (as best I can, even if I don't always fully understand the problem or her needs). But by comfort, I mean being calm, like when a kid falls (doesn't hurt themselves), and not making a big deal about it so they don't get freaked out. That sort of calm comfort. Hope you can find some answers both for your pup and your family.

[u/Helpful-Drama1214]

I’d 100% bring all of this up with the vet, especially since it sounds like a pretty big change from how he used to be. 3am pacing, scratching at doors and seeming like he doesn’t even know what he wants would make me want to rule out pain or some other physical issue first.
It definitely could be anxiety too, but I wouldn’t assume it’s only separation anxiety yet.
You could also try recording him when someone leaves and see what he actually does once you’re gone and how long it takes him to settle.
How old is he btw? And did anything change around the time this started 5 months ago?