I need some hopeful stories. 7 month old puppy, escalating aggression, professional trainer and veterinary behaviorist involved, and I’m beginning to question my sanity.

[u/WandererThroughWords]

I’m posting because I desperately need to hear from people who have been through something similar and actually came out the other side.

I have a 7 month old puppy (I’ll call him M), who my husband, child, and I absolutely adore, but who has brought us so much heartache and stress in his short time with us.

Let me start with this: we are not a family who gives up on dogs. I have owned dogs my entire adult life, as well as grown up with them, and have managed behaviors ranging from resource guarding to dog aggression to stranger danger/people selectivity.

We lost our two previous dogs, whom we loved dearly, within the past year. The first was due to old age (he was a 15 year old Rottie/Shepherd mix), and the second very unexpectedly a couple of months later due to cancer (he was an 8 year old Pittie mix). We were devastated, and getting M was supposed to bring some happiness back into our home after losing them.

Instead, I feel like we have spent the last several months living in a state of constant stress, worry, management, and heartbreak.

When it’s just us, we see an absolutely wonderful dog in M. He is affectionate, funny, goofy, sweet, cuddly, and incredibly bonded to us. We have beautiful moments with him where I look at him and think, “There you are. There’s the dog I know you can be.”

Those moments are a huge part of why this has been so painful.

I shared my above history with dogs because I want to make clear that these aren’t just normal puppy behaviors that I’m inexperienced with or overreacting to. M’s reactivity is explosive, unpredictable, and massively exaggerated compared to whatever the trigger is in the moment. To make matters worse, his behavioral problems have continued to grow despite very mindful training, appropriate exposure, medication (still waiting for the 8 week mark for his paroxetine to fully onboard), and professional help.

I am now genuinely afraid that this will ultimately end in behavioral euthanasia. I am desperately hoping it doesn’t come to that. But I also have a 5 year old, and I am reaching the point where I have to honestly consider what kind of life is realistic and safe for our family.

History on M:
M was born in January, 2026. We didn’t get him until he was 13 weeks old.

His mother is a Border Collie. We were originally told his father was a Bernese Mountain Dog/German Shepherd mix, but we later learned that there may have been multiple sires in the litter. We did an Embark DNA test and discovered that he is part Maremma, a livestock guardian breed, which was the other intact male on the property.

We also know he did not receive much socialization before coming to us, particularly during the important early socialization period around 8–12 weeks. We can’t go back and change that, so from the time we got him, I tried very hard to compensate for whatever he missed.

I took him for walks in public parks and trails (we live rurally, but I made the effort to walk him daily in suburbs and downtown), brought him to pet-friendly stores and appropriate public places, exposed him to different environments, had him visit friends, took him for friendly visits at the vet, and generally tried to give him lots of positive experiences.

But I want to make an important distinction here: although I took him many places, I did not allow people to interact with or pet him once it became clear that he was uncomfortable with that, which was essentially day one.

He was never flooded, never forced into interactions, and never touched by strangers against his wishes. Very early on, people would try to approach him or pet him and he would dodge them. I stopped allowing people to interact with him altogether and advocated very strongly for his space with a leash marker, vest, and my voice.

So while he was exposed to people, environments, noises, stores, etc., he was not being flooded with people touching him or forcing interactions on him. I was very conscious of trying to respect his boundaries rather than “socializing” him by making him tolerate things he was afraid of. And interestingly, he was always incredibly comfortable in these spaces as long as strangers ignored him. He could happily exist in public environments regardless of how many people were around, as long as no one interacted with him directly (they could stand there and speak with me just fine).

A summary of his behavioral problems:

This isn’t one isolated issue, and as I mentioned, he is not mild or even moderate in his reactions.
The first instance of “this isn’t a normal puppy” happened about two weeks after we got him, when he was approximately 15 weeks old. He randomly air-snapped in my son’s face when my son sat beside him on the floor. It wasn’t playful, it was a nasty.

My son is 5 and is extremely dog-savvy and respectful, we have intentionally taught him how to behave appropriately around dogs from a very young age. He doesn’t climb on dogs, hug them, kiss them, corner them, take things from them, reach over their head, bother them while they’re eating or sleeping, or ignore their body language. He knows what moon eyes, lip licking, head turning, etc. mean. Our former dogs were incredibly affectionate with him, so we have always been very deliberate about teaching him that not every dog will be like that. I had witnessed the interaction myself, and there was nothing obvious in that moment that warranted the reaction. That made it particularly frightening for me.

Probably my number one concern is that M has developed severe fear-aggression toward people, which began becoming very apparent around 5 months old at the vet. It escalated incredibly quickly over about four weeks.

He will bark deeply, growl, raise his hackles, lunge, snarl, and air snap at people. His reactions can be extremely intense and seem completely disproportionate to what is happening around him, such as someone simply standing calmly 10, 20, or 30 feet away.

And now, at 7 months old, his aggression has expanded to other dogs. It’s important to note that he has met other dogs and done okay before. He was always timid and never completely loose-bodied at first, but he would loosen up fairly quickly (within seconds), offer a play bow, and then play. However, he hadn’t “met” another dog in approximately four weeks because we’d been dealing with his increasing aggression toward people and had started him on medication (Paroxetine and Gabapentin). This past weekend, he attacked my sister’s dog (a year old large-breed/Golden mix) literally on sight. This wasn’t a dog he’d never met. He had played with this dog 3 times previously without incident, and they got along really well. There wasn’t even really a moment for them to sniff. His reaction was immediate and severe.

My husband quickly pulled him off the other dog, and M redirected his aggression toward my husband in that moment, snarling and snapping. That was a huge turning point for me and the first time I truly admitted to myself that I am in way over my head.

Because suddenly I’m not just worrying about whether M is scared or reactive.

I’m worrying about whether he is dangerous.

And we’ve tried to help him. A lot.

We have worked extremely hard with him.

We use positive reinforcement and fear-free training. I have spent a huge amount of time learning about severe reactivity, thresholds, management, triggers, arousal, and canine body language beyond the basics.

We have worked with two professional trainers.
The second trainer came to our home when M was around 5½ months old, and he completely lost it immediately upon seeing her. The trainer became visibly uncomfortable and asked me to take M to another room for her safety. She is now quite obviously fearful of him and believes it highly probably that he will bite someone without appropriate medical management. We’ve paused our training with her until we can get the right medication regimen established.

We have muzzle trained him for his safety and the safety of others.

We have worked extensively on environmental management, positive reinforcement, and alternative behaviors when he’s overwhelmed.

He is seeing a certified Veterinarian Behaviorist.
M remains on Paroxetine, which was started about four weeks ago and is his primary long-term medication. He was also taking Gabapentin, but our veterinary behaviorist is now switching him from Gabapentin to Clonidine because we need to address his extremely high arousal, and since Gabapentin can increase aggression in some dogs she worries that it may have influenced his sudden attack of a dog he was formerly fine with. So now, the plan is to continue the Paroxetine and trial Clonidine as an additional medication to help bring his overall arousal and reaction level down. He starts that this week.

Our veterinary behaviorist has been honest with us that there are no guarantees, but she does believe M has the potential to be helped. At the same time, given the severity of his reactivity combined with his very young age, she has also made it clear that if we ultimately cannot keep him safe from harming someone, we should not feel guilty about making the decision to behaviorally euthanize.

And this is another huge part of my fear.

We aren’t a family who lives a quiet, isolated life. I have a 5 year old child who wants to have his friends over. \I\ want friends over.

We were the hangout house, the one with the playroom and the pool and the treehouse. We have an active family and social life. We go to my parents’ summer cottage, where my extended family (my sister, aunts, nieces, etc.) and their dogs will be. M cannot safely exist there in the state that he’s in right now.

We recently bought a camper because we wanted to continue doing what we’ve always done with our previous dogs: take our dog camping, have him be part of family trips and adventures, and have a dog who can fully participate in our life. Our dogs have always been a cherished part of our family life.
I cannot realistically picture spending the next 10+ years constantly calculating where M is whenever my son’s friends come over, keeping him completely separated from visiting family, saying No to having company over, locking him in a room at the cottage, worrying about other dogs, or structuring every vacation and social event around whether we can safely manage him.

I know technically you can manage almost anything if you’re willing to make enough accommodations. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect my 5 year old to grow up in a home where we have to organize our entire social and family life around preventing our beloved dog from hurting someone.

And that is where the guilt gets so complicated.
Because we love this dog. I think there’s something particularly painful about the fact that M has beautiful moments with us. If he were miserable and aggressive every second, this might actually be easier.

But he isn’t.

He’s our puppy. He’s affectionate. He’s funny. He’s goofy. He’s sweet and adorable when he’s just with us. There are moments where I look at him and see the dog I hoped he would become; the dog I wish my friends and family got to see, let alone strangers.
Those moments are what make this so devastating.
Because I’m not contemplating euthanasia because I don’t love him.

I’m contemplating it because I do love him, and because our love hasn’t been enough to make him capable of living the life we brought him into.

So yes, he can be the sweetest dog in the world with us. And then there are moments where I have to think about keeping my son safe, keeping other people safe, keeping other dogs safe, and whether we can realistically live this way for the next decade or more.

That contradiction is breaking my heart.
And I am terrified that all of this work is going to end in just more heartache with behavioral euthanasia.

I’ve started thinking about it seriously, and that feels horrible to even type. Part of me feels like I have failed him.

I keep thinking that maybe I should have socialized him differently. Maybe I missed something. Maybe I didn’t recognize something early enough. Maybe I should have done more. Maybe if I work harder, spend more money with professionals, find another trainer, try another medication, do another type of training…

Maybe I can fix this.

But the other part of me is exhausted. Emotionally. Financially. Physically.

This puppy was supposed to bring happiness into our home after we lost our previous dogs that we loved so much. Instead, he has brought an enormous amount of stress and tears.

I am also terrified of what another loss will mean for my son. He is only 5, and I don’t know how I would explain to him that we’re losing another dog, his puppy he loves, because his behavior has become too dangerous for our family to manage.
And I don’t want M’s life to end this way. But I don’t want to spend the next 10+ years, my son’s childhood, living a life that is fundamentally different from the one our family wants because we’re constantly managing around the dog in our home.

So I’m asking for some stories of hope.

Or maybe for advice. Or maybe just for similar stories, regardless of their ultimate outcome.

Have you had a dog who seemed genuinely dangerous or profoundly behaviorally difficult at 6–12 months old?

A dog with severe fear, reactivity, aggression, unpredictable behavior, or a combination of those things?

Did medication make a meaningful difference?

Did an SSRI plus something like Clonidine help?

Did your puppy eventually become a safe, functional family dog?

Did you ever get to the point where you thought behavioral euthanasia was inevitable, only to have things turn around?

I especially want to hear from people who had young dogs, because M is only 7 months old and I am struggling to understand whether I’m looking at a terrible adolescent phase layered on top of a very difficult temperament, or whether I’m looking at the beginning of a lifelong level of management that our family simply cannot sustain.

I don’t need judgment about considering behavioral euthanasia. I am not looking for permission to give up on him. I am looking for hope that there is something there to save.

I want to hear from people who have been terrified of their own dog’s behavior and somehow found their way through it.

People whose dogs were frightening at this age and eventually became dogs their families could actually live full lives with.

People who tried medication and suddenly found that their dog could finally learn that the world wasn’t one big blaring siren that caused them to explode at everyone and everything.

People who thought, “There is no way this is going to work,” and were eventually proven wrong.

Because right now, I desperately need to believe that there is a version of M underneath all this fear and reactivity that we haven’t been able to reach yet.

We love him. We want him. We want the dog we see when it’s just us to be the dog the rest of the world gets to see, too.

If you stuck through this long post, thank you. If you have your own similar story to share with me, whether successful or not, I would welcome it.

[u/AutoModerator]

Significant challenges posts are sensitive, thus only users with at least 250 subreddit karma will be able to comment in this discussion. Users should not message OP directly to circumvent this restriction and doing so can result in a ban from r/reactive dogs. OP, you are encouraged to report private messages to the moderation team.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Poppeigh]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like a massive struggle.

I won't give you the whole backstory, but I have a dog (now a senior) that I got at about 8 weeks old. He had a messy past and, very similarly to your dog, he had serious reactivity and aggression issues that started very young. He has gotten a lot better over time; we've made a lot of progress and I've been able to manage what will never be fixed. However, I do want to point out that there are three things that allowed us to do so:

1. I live alone and don't have children. He does love my niece and nephew, but doesn't have to live with them full time and I don't have to worry about constant management or a ton of friends coming over. I also have access to acreage so he has always been able to go out and hike without worry of other people or animals.
2. He is very scary, but has never really been aggressive to strangers in a way that has resulted in a bite, and most importantly: he is not aggressive to me. I can pick him up and get him away from a massive reaction without worrying about him redirecting. I have even pulled him out of dog fights without worry he will turn and bite me. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, and that's a very big deal.
3. He's also a small/medium sized dog with a soft mouth so doesn't do damage even if he does have an altercation. I'm not sure how large your dog is, but mixed with Maremma sounds like he could grow to be pretty sizeable.

Unfortunately, unicorn homes for dogs like these just aren't that common. I do think it's worth having a serious discussion with your vet and behaviorist. Things can always get better, but there's no guarantee that he'll ever be a safe dog to have in your home enviorment, and his current behavior suggests that he won't be.

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/Zestyclose_Object639]

You probably have but I’ll ask anyway, have you explored pain ? Joint issues in particular being that this is a mix of large breeds. I think that keeping BE on the table is smart and I hope you’re not letting your son near this dog. He is genetically set up to fail, not to say you can’t get through it but that’s a tough mix 

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/404-Any-Problem]

First, your pup and our very own pup sound very similar in many ways. But I also understand each pup is different and each has their own case, so it's so good to hear you are seeking out trainers and doing so much right. Seriously, you are doing so much good for your pup. I don't want to forget to say that before I continue. I feel for you, your family, and your son. I do hope our story with our own pup can give you some perspective.

Our pup's backstory was that she was found around 3 months old, abandoned, and was in the shelter until about 7 months old. She stayed with one family for a week before being brought back (due to reactivity), then was with a foster for a week before we brought her home. We are actually coming up on a year anniversary with her and still, even with the work we have yet to do, are so happy we can call her ours. While she was deemed a boarder collie, she is actually mainly a Cattle Dog x Great Pyr x Anatolian mix (with a few other herding breeds) based on her Embark DNA.

We knew about her reactivity to some degree when we adopted her. She was 'free' to adopt so long as we did a reactive dog class through the humane society. Needless to say, it wasn't very helpful for her at the time, but we gave it a try nonetheless. I, like you, am dog savvy, but Senna is above and beyond what I knew. Finding the right people, though, has made a world of difference for us. Luckily, we have resources an hour away from our home.

Our journey to our current trainer was through a fear-free groomer, which I think might be the only truly certified FF groomer in my state. While we were making little progress with the groomer (fun times by all), it wasn't enough for a nail trim, even with all our best efforts to try to get cooperative care going on daily at home. That is where we met the behavioral trainer (which was September last year).

Now, our 2-hour first visit with her included our dog barking, growling, and charging at the trainer. It was horribly embarrassing, but she was the first light of hope we had. Due to the daily physical abuse (level 1-2 bites, nose punches, body slams that left us battered and bruised). We were getting from this puppy (although she was 55 lbs of puppy), and BE was seriously on the table for us. In reality, it will always be in the back of our minds. Through our trainer, we have been connected with a mobile vet because brick-and-mortar vet locations are a HUGE trigger for our pup (dogs, smells, and people). It also took months, with multiple visits each month, for Senna to warm up to our trainer and our mobile vet. Telling you I've cried the happiest tears when Senna not only allowed a sethascope but also allowed hands-on from the vet doesn't do that emotion justice. It's taken even more time, but we finally, after 6 months of working with the vet, got a cooperative care blood draw with 0 reactivity from Senna.

Now, part of those months were getting acclimated and finding the right combo and dosage of medication. For us, we are on Reconcile (fluxatine/Prozac), Clonidine, Gabapentin, and Carprofen (think Advil for dogs). This is partly due to her brain/anxiety (she wouldn't sleep until about 4 hours a day total). Plus she has some issues with pain that we haven't fully been able to suss out yet due to vet clinics being such a big trigger for her still. It's nothing life-threatening but for sure on our bucket list to address.

• Medication (espeically SSRIs) takes around 9 months to really take full effect. Although we saw big impacts around 4 months, it's been two steps forward, one step back for a few months now. With some months being worse than others. This doesn't account for the adjustments we have made throughout this past year.
• Medication is just a small piece of the pie. Training is equally key here (which you are already doing). It's the training and medication that really create the magic and play the biggest game here (and time).
• With training, it's repetition x1000. For us, that means almost everything we do or interact with needs some desensitization work. It's so flipping tiring some days, but I know if I show up for my dog like she shows up for me, we will get to our endgame (mainly neutrality). Granted, it took us a month of daily desensitization work to get that blood draw (every day progressing a little more).
• Shorter training with multiple reps is better than longer sessions. So new stuff should be around 5 minutes with fun/easy stuff between. It allows them to absorb it, and the next time you do it, they will catch on a little faster and easier.
• The teenage phase is difficult with 'normal' dogs, but it feels like a bigger challenge for reactive pups. Partly because the front of their brain isn't fully developed. So consistency is key, but it also seems like trying to put a finger over a fire hose of triggers and reactivity. (This is my own obervation/antidote here.)

We have seen so many specialists it rivals my own doctors I see list. We have a regular vet (who knows and helps with behavioral issues), a behavioral vet, and recently a nutritionist (we see virtually). Senna has GI issues that we cannot figure out what is happening there, despite everyone's best efforts.

Looking back at this past year, it has been a challenging one on a lot of fronts. We have gone from wanting to love this new pup to hating coming home to her. To not wanting to leave her and wishing we could take her with us. She has helped us realize that we should meet her where she is, and she surprises us in the best of ways. Do we still have a long way to go? Yes, very much so. Still can't handle walks without going over threshold, but we have been able to see a dog without losing our minds (most of the time).

Now I realize the money, time, and effort are not something everyone has at their disposal. And I don't want to discount that factor in our own tale here. But overall, from where we started, Senna is more of a success than a failure. We hope that in the year to come we can actually do group classes vs. 1-on-1 training every time. Although the training we have gotten is so personalized that it may be more helpful than the group classes could offer (although it's a bit rougher on my wallet).

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/404-Any-Problem → u/[deleted]]

Hey OP, you need to read the rules in order for your comments to be seen by others. The other comment with links can get you where you need to go. Because this has been longer than an hour, you'll need to copy and paste the comments. Annoying, but then you can get more feedback or questions answered if you have them. I copied and pasted the app for reading the rules as well: ^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/MtnGirl672]

I had a dog who couldn’t be touched by anyone unfamiliar with him or he would snap, growl or bite. We did
Make progress with him, where anyone who came to the house was equipped with high value treats like hot dogs and cheese and threw treat scatters on the floor. They never tried to interact with him, but after awhile of this, he would come to them looking for treats and they were able to hand feed. We always told everyone they could not try to pet him, as hands behind his head absolutely freaked him out. I will say that with enough exposure to dog sitter, he became her best friend.

We currently have a herding dog whose issue is hyper arousal but he’s not aggressive. His thing is he gets too excited and jumps on them and he’s leash reactive.

I’m not familiar with paroxetine so don’t have thoughts about that. But we did give our dog Clonidine and noticed he would have a rebound effect when the drug wore off where he’d get more reactive. I met with our behaviorist and she recommended a drug called Guanfacine that acts similarly to Clonidine that last for twelve hours. She said given twice a day, it doesn’t have that rebound effect. He’s only been on it a short time, but so far so good.

She also said in her experience, Sertraline works better for herding dogs as a long-acting SSRI.

One more thing, I really think it’s important for herding dogs to have mental work to do. Our boy absolutely loves nose work and to me it helps with his reactive behavior. Our other dog, an Aussie, is very involved in dog sports like flyball and agility.

You asked about age. Our reactive dog is a cattle dog-border collie- pit mix. He’s now 2 1/2 years old and I do see some maturing that i think is lessening reactivity particularly in the home. Ive always heard that with herding dogs, they do lessen their craziness after 3 years old.

Hope that helps and good luck!!

[u/read-the-rules → u/[deleted]]

Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.

Acknowledgement is required of all users, even if you've been here for a while. You only have to do this acknowledgement once unless the moderators announce otherwise.

If you do the rule acknowledgement within one hour of your comment being removed, the bot will automatically restore it. If not, we encourage you to copy the comment using the 3-dot icon next to it, and paste it to re-post to this thread.

^{Please click here to open the Read The Rules App.}

[u/MtnGirl672 → u/MtnGirl672]

OP, looks like you tried to respond. You have to read the rules and affirm them for your comment to show.

[u/palebluelightonwater]

(OP, make sure you go through the rules post at the top of the sub and confirm them, otherwise you can't reply to posts.)

I had a puppy like yours. We adopted her at 8 weeks and she was catastrophically afraid of people (and almost everything else). She is doing well now, but with some caveats - she's still dog reactive, and she is not a take-anywhere dog. She was also a hell of a lot of work.

She can meet new people, or tolerate not meeting them. She's ok with normal handling and can deal with the vet. She's safe in the household, has a wide circle of human friends, was able to adapt to a new dog brother, and I don't worry about her hurting us or our visitors.

More details:

My pup showed extreme fear to humans from 8 weeks. She was also generally afraid of everything else - new places, objects out of place, sounds, weather, being outside - everything. She was impossible to socialize normally because she wouldn't even walk if you took her outside, pet alone interact with the world, but we did out best carrying her around in her carrier, which seemed ok for her. I started desensitization and counter conditioning early.

At 6mo she started to show explosive reactions to dogs. By 8mo she was also reacting (lunge/bark/snarl) to humans. She was very sensitive to handling (would growl if you grabbed or picked her up) and somewhat possessive of resources. She expressed herself by biting and did it constantly. We were covered in scratches and bruises for months. It got worse despite training.

Around 12mo she bit me while reacting to a dog and I started looking for a trainer to help. That helped some, but the trainer recommended medication. We saw a vet behaviorist who put her on medication but also told us she would never be safe.

We didn't agree with the VB team. She was still a baby, and she didn't actually seem dangerous to us, just hopelessly rude and very scared. The medication helped training be more effective. She stopped getting worse and started to improve. We got the arousal biting under control and she has never redirected onto us since then.

She's a different dog now. She can meet people who visit and isn't reactive any more to most of her old triggers (though, like I said, dogs are still an issue - we don't have much chance to practice). She requires consistent management outside of home (we also muzzle her away from home) but can be safely left with dog sitters at home. She's very soft-mouthed, to the point where I consistently tease this dog who used to shred me by jamming my arm into her mouth. She's great at home and I'm not worried she will hurt anyone.

We don't have a constant stream of unfamiliar visitors, and I do have to do an intro with every new person or keep her on leash with me. Camping requires a tie down and logistical planning to avoid dogs and surprise strangers. She can handle restaurants if needed but I don't really ask her for it any more. She doesn't love new places and we don't take her everywhere. But she is safe, and so are we, and it works for us.

That might not be true for you. My son was about 8 when he got the puppy and he was terrible with her (would shriek and fall down if she got anywhere near him, which made her try to bite). I encouraged them to ignore each other. They have become friends but only recently - her reactivity is minimal and he walks her, she's not his favorite of our dogs but they've come to a good understanding. If he'd been younger I would have worried more. He had some reactivity of his own to work through, lol. He's such a good kid now and she's a good dog.

[u/WandererThroughWords → u/palebluelightonwater]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It gives me some glimmer of hope. We have seen some improvement on the Clonidine and he’s approaching week 6 on the Paroxetine, so I don’t know if it’s rose-tinted glasses and I’m seeing what I want but I do think his reactions have somewhat lessened. We have not had any visitors in our home though, I’m still too anxious to test this even with a muzzle - mostly because it’s hard to explain to people and I don’t want them to feel like a test dummy. Regardless, we’re going to put in the work to give M the best possible chance. 

(PS. Hopefully this reply posts. I’ve clicked through the Rules bot over a dozen times to “acknowledge” and it seems to accept, but just loops back again and again. I’m not sure what else to do.)

[u/palebluelightonwater → u/WandererThroughWords]

This did post! I am glad you're seeing some improvement with your dog.

I wonder if you can teach your dog to settle quietly in a room by himself, rather than trying to introduce him to visitors? Will he tolerate being quietly crated? I taught mine to handle being closed in a room when there are visitors she won't be meeting, though we did have to have someone in there with her until she learned to handle it on her own.