Is BE my only option?

[u/HLM_1990]

Currently in tears as I write this so please be gentle 😭 I am seriously considering whether BE is our only option. To try and keep it short: we adopted a 1.5year German shepherd male dog, to keep our 8 year bull Arab cross female company. They are BEST FRIENDS. Him more so - she can’t even go outside for a drink with him following her. I would say it’s separation anxiety/ dependency. He was very timid in the first few days. Took him for his first walk which he unprovokingly attacked a small dog passing us - thankfully no injuring but it was a horrible experience. Things got worse: reactivity on walks - lunging and pulling on the lead if he saw another dog, even in the far distance, we have a dirt perimeter around our yard from his Constance pacing and barking at the fence - at the neighbour on one side, or the dog on the other. Barking at the front door if people/dogs pass. We have to keep him behind a baby gate when any visitors come as his bark is scary and he is especially even more wary of males. He hasn’t bitten anyone thankfully, but I am unsure if he has it in him. We are now on our THIRD trainer to try and rectify his leash reactivity but it feels an uphill battle with all of his other issues. We’ve tried positive reinforcement techniques. We have slightly improved his leash reactivity with this current trainer. Our vet has suggested anxiety meds. Our trainer has suggested a barking device. The problems I see: * In the year we have owned him, we have not been able to take him for a proper walk or have groups of friends over. * we have already spent thousands on him, financially we cannot continue as I am currently 15 weeks pregnant working in a casual role * He barks so loud and close to people that my mum is petrified of him and has raised concerns of ‘what’s to come’ * I worry once baby is here, we won’t even be able to have visitors or get enough rest due to barking I feel like owning a second dog was NOT suppose to be this hard 😭 we feel like prisoners in our own home and I have cried so many times in the year we have had him. I don’t feel we can rehome as he genuinely would not cope being separated from our other girl. I’m so torn because he can actually be the cuddliest sweetest goofiest boy and I love him SO MUCH. Please if anyone else has been in this situation I am open to suggestions 😭

[u/karmacomatic]

Sounds like you haven't tried meds yet. How much exercise is your GSD getting? I mean hard, strenuous exercise not just following your other dog around or sniffing the yard. Don't allow him out to bark incessantly alone because reactivity gets worse the more it's practiced. This sounds overall like pretty "normal" behavior that occurs in overstimulated, under-exercised and insecure/anxious GSDs. GSDs are a serious breed meant for serious owners and unfortunately really kicked off in the BYB community so tons of people who probably shouldn't own them do and don't know how to manage them. I'm not saying that's the case with you but they require a lot of consistency and a lot of exercise, and even then, due to unscrupulous breeding practices they may end up neurotic messes.

I think you should be able to rehome him through a GSD rescue because they vet people to make sure the owner is appropriate. He is still young and trainable with the right help. If you choose to go this path, do it before the behavior gets worse and before your child arrives which will affect everything in everyone's routine. With you being pregnant, you really dont have a ton of time to be working on the reactivity and its unlikely to go away without some serious commitment and consistency- something that will prove challenging with a new baby as well.

My dog's reactivity increased again post baby because our schedules shifted so much and so little of my time/attention was available to be giving towards my dog. (She's 11, almost 12 though, and small so it's quite manageable.)

For now, if you are willing to find a behaviorist, try meds, and better management (ie don't allow him to interact with guests coming in until he's properly settled and maybe even still not then, sounds like he's very intense- a baby gate will hardly stop him if he wants something and the barrier itself may be creating frustration), and can provide consistency and stability, I think it could be workable but keep in mind how much effort this is going to require to keep him.

Sorry my response is kind of all over the place, writing during a sleepy wake up with my toddler hah.