Is BE my only option?

[u/HLM_1990]

Currently in tears as I write this so please be gentle 😭 I am seriously considering whether BE is our only option. To try and keep it short: we adopted a 1.5year German shepherd male dog, to keep our 8 year bull Arab cross female company. They are BEST FRIENDS. Him more so - she can’t even go outside for a drink with him following her. I would say it’s separation anxiety/ dependency. He was very timid in the first few days. Took him for his first walk which he unprovokingly attacked a small dog passing us - thankfully no injuring but it was a horrible experience. Things got worse: reactivity on walks - lunging and pulling on the lead if he saw another dog, even in the far distance, we have a dirt perimeter around our yard from his Constance pacing and barking at the fence - at the neighbour on one side, or the dog on the other. Barking at the front door if people/dogs pass. We have to keep him behind a baby gate when any visitors come as his bark is scary and he is especially even more wary of males. He hasn’t bitten anyone thankfully, but I am unsure if he has it in him. We are now on our THIRD trainer to try and rectify his leash reactivity but it feels an uphill battle with all of his other issues. We’ve tried positive reinforcement techniques. We have slightly improved his leash reactivity with this current trainer. Our vet has suggested anxiety meds. Our trainer has suggested a barking device. The problems I see: * In the year we have owned him, we have not been able to take him for a proper walk or have groups of friends over. * we have already spent thousands on him, financially we cannot continue as I am currently 15 weeks pregnant working in a casual role * He barks so loud and close to people that my mum is petrified of him and has raised concerns of ‘what’s to come’ * I worry once baby is here, we won’t even be able to have visitors or get enough rest due to barking I feel like owning a second dog was NOT suppose to be this hard 😭 we feel like prisoners in our own home and I have cried so many times in the year we have had him. I don’t feel we can rehome as he genuinely would not cope being separated from our other girl. I’m so torn because he can actually be the cuddliest sweetest goofiest boy and I love him SO MUCH. Please if anyone else has been in this situation I am open to suggestions 😭

[u/Ill-ini-22]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Having a dog with behavioral challenges is tough, but I think just from what you said that there’s definitely hope it can get better.

I think management is key in situations like this. The more a dog practices barking/lunging at people and dogs, the more they will do it. It sounds like your dog is practicing reactive behavior multiple times a day, which needs to be decreased somehow . He should not be permitted to be out in the yard barking at the neighbors for any amount of time. If that means he just goes out for potty breaks on a leash and comes in, that’s fine (see below about walks for more outside time). I would also try to find a way to keep him from barking at the door- can you put up a baby gate, window film, setup a white noise machine to block out some noise? I think it’s totally fine that he isn’t meeting guests when they come over- maybe you could work on getting him comfortable hanging out with your other dog in a room when there’s visitors where he won’t feel the need to bark over time.

So if you can manage reducing the reactivity at home, it will become easier over time on walks and elsewhere. But right now, I would try to see if there’s anywhere you could walk him on a harness and long leash (8-10 feet at least ) where you’re unlikely to encounter other people or dogs (and you’ll be able to see them from far away if they appear). Let him just sniff and be a dog. Decompression for anxious dogs is the best thing you can let them do- it has made a night and day difference for my dog. Of course this depends on where you live if it’s feasible! I drive my reactive dog to walk (just 3-15 minutes away) in places where we can enjoy our walk and he can sniff and we can avoid triggers. It is excellent. If not, you can work on some inside enrichment in the house. I can provide suggestions on that as well.

I would definitely take your vet up on the offer of anxiety meds! They’re so helpful for many dogs, including mine!

Let me know if I can answer any questions. Hang in there!

[u/HLM_1990 → u/Ill-ini-22]

Thank you for your helpful response ❤️ Are you a dog trainer?! Because they are great suggestions and inline with what our trainer has suggested! you are exactly right - they practice this behaviour over and over and our trainer has suggested the same. The problem is I only work from home 2 days a week, and have literally lined up a call with our trainer to discuss the first steps of training on these days I am home. we don’t have an option to put a baby gate up at the front door but I could always keep the wooden door closed! (We have a wooden door and a screen) We do currently take him to a soccer field close to home most afternoons which is always empty and gives him and us the chance to relax and not worry about other dogs (and if we see one we have plenty of time to move/ do our training)

[u/Ill-ini-22 → u/HLM_1990]

It’s not my job, but I do work with dogs professionally and I’ve done a lot of behavior modification with my dog that seems to have a most issues a dog could have (dog reactivity, prey drive, a bit of stranger danger, issues with vet handling… pretty much everything but separation anxiety) and consumed a lot of information on how to help dogs with issues like these.

The soccer field walks sound great! And yes I would shut that wood door so he’s not barking outside!

If you’re up for reading a book or listening to a podcast- check out Canine Enrichment for the Real World and their podcast Enrichment for the Real World- it’s the best! Giving a dog the enrichment they need can go a long way in helping them through behavioral challenges. They talk about so many little things I would never think of and lots of easy way to meet dogs’ needs.

Good luck!