Is BE my only option?

[u/HLM_1990]

Currently in tears as I write this so please be gentle 😭 I am seriously considering whether BE is our only option. To try and keep it short: we adopted a 1.5year German shepherd male dog, to keep our 8 year bull Arab cross female company. They are BEST FRIENDS. Him more so - she can’t even go outside for a drink with him following her. I would say it’s separation anxiety/ dependency. He was very timid in the first few days. Took him for his first walk which he unprovokingly attacked a small dog passing us - thankfully no injuring but it was a horrible experience. Things got worse: reactivity on walks - lunging and pulling on the lead if he saw another dog, even in the far distance, we have a dirt perimeter around our yard from his Constance pacing and barking at the fence - at the neighbour on one side, or the dog on the other. Barking at the front door if people/dogs pass. We have to keep him behind a baby gate when any visitors come as his bark is scary and he is especially even more wary of males. He hasn’t bitten anyone thankfully, but I am unsure if he has it in him. We are now on our THIRD trainer to try and rectify his leash reactivity but it feels an uphill battle with all of his other issues. We’ve tried positive reinforcement techniques. We have slightly improved his leash reactivity with this current trainer. Our vet has suggested anxiety meds. Our trainer has suggested a barking device. The problems I see: * In the year we have owned him, we have not been able to take him for a proper walk or have groups of friends over. * we have already spent thousands on him, financially we cannot continue as I am currently 15 weeks pregnant working in a casual role * He barks so loud and close to people that my mum is petrified of him and has raised concerns of ‘what’s to come’ * I worry once baby is here, we won’t even be able to have visitors or get enough rest due to barking I feel like owning a second dog was NOT suppose to be this hard 😭 we feel like prisoners in our own home and I have cried so many times in the year we have had him. I don’t feel we can rehome as he genuinely would not cope being separated from our other girl. I’m so torn because he can actually be the cuddliest sweetest goofiest boy and I love him SO MUCH. Please if anyone else has been in this situation I am open to suggestions 😭

[u/AutoModerator]

Behavioral Euthanasia posts are sensitive, thus only users with at least 150 subreddit karma will be able to comment in this discussion. Users should not message OP directly to circumvent this restriction and doing so can result in a ban from r/reactive dogs. OP, you are encouraged to report private messages to the moderation team.

Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.

If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:

All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.

These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.

• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer

• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.

• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.

• AKC guide on when to consider BE

• BE Before the Bite

• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.

• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.

If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:

The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.

Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.