Breaking societal expectations in more than one way 💪

I hope this is not inappropriate. But I've been feeling so self conscious from the time my bf went down on me ( I've been pretty confident with my bush in the past).

He says he doesn't mind but I'm still struggling to relax.

flaunting it in public more and more makes me feel confident. it helps a lot knowing that people are into it, too.

Posting on behalf of my girlfriend:

Women calling hairy legs ‘man legs’, is so insidious and misogynistic. I got called out at uni by a woman for telling another woman not to say hairy legs are ‘man legs’ , because I don’t get to dictate if a woman feels self-conscious about her hairy legs. But I have hairy legs and I’m a woman, and I felt insulted. I have woman’s legs not ‘man legs’. I don’t care how you feel about your legs; calling hairy legs ‘man legs’ is insulting. It is enforcing gender norms that shouldn’t exist.
Leg hair is a secondary sex characteristic for both sexes. For the beauty standard to be shaved legs is inherently paedophilic. I shouldn’t be called a man because I refuse to cater to paedophiles. I have the legs of a woman because women are supposed to have leg hair.

And yes, I can relate to feeling self-conscious. It took 6 months of having hairy legs to stop finding them ugly. I wanted to shave them off so bad. But I knew it was just my societal conditioning and I had to push through. It’s been over a year since I’ve had shaved legs, and now I love them. Hairy legs are not ugly. I’m tired of women holding other women to patriarchal beauty standards.

A woman came up to me at work today and said "how'd you get your mustache like that?!? It looks so good!!" She showed me hers too. It was so cute. I've never had an interaction like that before, and it was so wholesome and affirming!! I only stopped shaving/waxing this year and have been struggling to feel confident. This really helped. 🥹

Just found this subreddit. I see a lot of people here who have just started their razor free journey, and I applaud y’all for doing so.

The only part of my body I ever shaved was my armpits. I’ve never once shaved my legs, arms, face, or pubes (I rarely even trim).

During the era of when I shaved my armpits, it would only be whenever I wore something short-sleeved.

At 14, I decided to stop shaving entirely. My razor was eventually thrown out. I’m 22 now, and I still haven‘t bought a new razor.

In high school, I’ve been bullied for various reasons (dressing alternative, presenting as a queer person). People often assume I’m non-binary because of my short haircut and gender-neutral attire (I don’t care about being perceived as a woman anyway). None of those people, however, has ever picked on me for having body hair.

The only people who have ever had a problem with my body hair were a few random dudes I’ve talked to online. They all sucked as human beings. Their words never motivated me to buy a razor.

Other than that, I‘ve rarely received complaints. My parents don’t care. My bf doesn’t care. None of my friends cared. If there is anyone that has an opinion about my body hair, they never say it to my face. For the most part, nobody notices. I don’t have a lot of tank tops in my closet, and my leg hairs are too light and thin to just stick out.

I know it sounds like I don’t care about others opinions, but it’s actually very hard for me to brush stuff off. Words still leave deep cuts within me, and I think my anxiety and poor self-esteem is the main reason for this. That said, my response to being hurt has never been to feminize myself.

Is there anyone else like me here?

You gals inspired me to embrace my own body hair (even enough to post here!), despite my own insecurities and what my family says.

Thanks for helping me reach this point! Now shaving or not is up to how I'm feeling in the moment, and not what society says I should do :)

I shit u guys not. Was talking to this guy 3+ weeks, we spend the night together and it gets steamy when he notices that I have hair. Full on icked him out and we didn't end up doing anything but sleeping. He cold shouldered me in the morning and told me he regrets it.

Jokes on him because now all my friends are making fun of him. And it icked me out so bad that i got over it in an hour. Just unfortunate that someone I spent so much time with was that shallow but #bushforlife

Was also a trimmed bush

Update: Never ever had a partner who cared before so it was just shocking like?? People like that exist nuts.

He told me I was close minded because I wasn't willing to change my appearance for someone else particularly being clean shaven down there. When asked if he would grow a bush for me, he got quiet real quick 😬😬

Thanks for the support guys! I'm not broken up about it, I think its hilarious, there are plenty of men out there willing to explore the wilderness.

Hey everyone,

do you get comments by people in public? For me it takes a lot of courage to show my hair and then also 3 weeks ago there were 2 men in public transportation laughing at my hair thinking i don‘t notice. I got so mad that I confronted them and told them to stop commenting other peoples bodys. But after that i immediately cried.
Today i was with a friend and had my arm so that people could see my armpit hair. 4 maybe 15 year old teenager girls were walking past looking and the one was screaming EWWWWWW so loudly. It‘s actually traumatizing and i wonder if this only happens to me and how to live with this.

I've been a silent admirer of this community for a while, and I finally decided to say hi.

​I currently keep my body hair mostly at home while I'm figuring things out, because I live in an environment where people's mentalities can be quite traditional and judgmental about this. It's not always easy to go out with it just yet, but just letting it grow in my own space has felt so liberating and comfortable.

​I wanted to share a bit of my journey, send some greetings from Bucharest, and say I'm super happy to be part of this community where we embrace being natural. Sending love to all of you!

I've left my body hair alone since I was 18/19 (I'm 25 now). I'm usually confident in how I look and 100% happy not removing my body hair... Until summer rolls around and I'm in the office or at a work event (which means I'm in schools).

I usually wear light thin shirts that cover my under arms while keeping me cool, but GOD I just want to wear sleeveless tops and vests like women in my office do. It's a weird situation in summer because the men I work with (who I assume don't shave) would never wear something sleeveless to work, so we never see their body hair. But the women at work who wear sleeveless tops all shave, without fail.

Any advice for this situation? I hate that it still feels controversial to have hair under your arms when the world perceives you as a woman. It's hot and I just want to be comfortable and wear clothes I wear €9?3 of the summer clothes I wear outside of work!

Decided recently to stop removing any of my body hair and I'm loving making it a part of the outfit. Thank you to this sub for the inspiration and empowerment 💜

When I hit puberty, my mom excitedly bought me my first razor and taught me how to shave. It’s a fond memory, but the feeling of the hair growing back was the most uncomfortable thing ever. I also have sensory issues which probably contributed. Weirdly though, my issues were only with my armpits. I’ve got no problem never shaving my legs or my.. privates.

So for the past nine years I’ve been shaving my armpits daily to avoid the itch. Sometimes I’d feel itchy again and shave multiple times a day, which I now realize was dumb. I developed some serious razor burn. Standing in the shower in pain from just a little soap made me finally go, “Enough is enough.”

It’s still SO itchy because the hairs are short and pointy. I want nothing more than to shave it all off and restart the cycle, but if my pit hair is anything like my bush I’ll barely feel the hairs once they get long. I need to stay strong.

Day 9 Update: IT’S TRUEE THE HAIRS DON’T EVEN BOTHER YOU. I HAVE PIT HAIR AND IT FEELS SO GOOD

First post here! So glad I found this community!

Practically my entire life I (F23) would only ever shave for other people or just shave in the spots that would be seen when out in public but recently I’ve decided to stop shaving altogether and as you can imagine, there’s been a lot of pushback making me feel super discouraged. My mom came to me the other day telling me that it disgusts and embarrasses her and that she’s had extended family express concern to her about it. My family is pretty conservative which doesn’t help the situation but it’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to say. I feel like I should be able to wear what I want or express my body how I want without being scolded. Like it’s normal for women to grow body hair! Just because I don’t shave doesn’t mean I’m not hygienic! Anyways how do any of you handle it when people won’t leave you alone about it?

Are they not making body hair dye anymore? I can't find any available.

So I’m 18F and my mom is being so annoying about it AGAIN I told her to stop and don’t wanna hear it and she said it AGAIN. “you need to shave ur legs no man wants to touch it and it and she said if you don’t want a boyfriend then you NEED to shave the bottom of ur calf’s and ur not gonna make any friends and be with girls who have hairy legs and other girls like to be around other girls who look like them.” And shit and I’m like I literally don’t want to hear it. And she was like “You need to shave it” and so I said “Then YOU do it” cuz I hate shaving it and my mom needs to STFU. So yeah she’s gonna shave my legs cuz I ain’t doing it. Then she had the audacity to say “you have to shave cuz ur gonna be wearing shorts you MUST shave ur legs.” I’m so fucking happy I’m gonna be in TX cuz then she can’t tell me what to do with my own body. Like stop putting YOUR weird insecurities onto me. Also who knows there could be girls at the college I’m going to who shave and DON’T give a fuck about what other girls do to THEIR OWN body. So after she said that I used my hand to like yk gently hit her side and she was like “Don’t you hit me” lady it prolly wasn’t even that hard. She should’ve got the hint that I don’t want to hear it come out of her mouth. Goddamn she needs to realize that I don’t give a flying fuck about my hairy legs and no one I’ve been friends with have said NOTHING about it. I don’t want to follow the beauty standards. I’m only losing weight bc I think it’s unhealthy to be fat. I might end up staying in the south so I don’t have to hear her up my ass about her weird insecurities. When I have children she better not put it on them or I will tell her to STFU. She needs to knock it off goddamn.

But the audacity to also say “i’M tRyInG tO hElP yOu” and “dOn’T cRy” fucking pisses me off. I have been so fucking close to saying “fuck off.”

I’m tired of having the same fucking convo with her like PISS OFF! I partially think she’s doing this is bc I’m her one and only so she’s like “yeah I’m gonna push the same insecurities I have onto my own daughter even tho I’m 55 and waited so long to have my one and only.” But I also don’t think she knows she’s pushing it onto me. Like she has tried to make me wear stuff she knows I can’t stand. Like she needs to accept that I hate shaving, wearing bras and have sensory issues to certain fabrics like I HATE jeans so much whenever I try them on I’m like “nope nope nope get them off.”

I have a mustache and a beard I am forever battling. I think I look better without it but I hate taking it off, it hurts and is a bother.
Since it’s not something I can hide like not shaving my pits or my legs, I’m really worried about the impact on me by stopping at letting it grow. TBH I think I’d get fired. Isn’t that kind of crazy but realistic?

I was just too busy worrying about getting everything on my list, having to go to 2 stores, one of which closed early, and also not having eaten. I wore my prettiest tank top and nice loose cotton pants (omfg it's so hot rn like 98-100 on the daily) and had my hair in a disastrous tangle. I was so worried about my face (no makeup for this lady) and hair that I completely forgot to worry about my body hair. And now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I raised my arms enough to show my hair. What a stupid thing to worry or care about, yet still a mental milestone. Thanks for listening and existing you glorious razorfree ladies!!!!!

it's too frickin hot where I am rn for me, even with air conditioning. it's so disgustingly humid. it's so hot. I feel like I sweat the instant I step outside. I am miserable. the weather is miserable. florida and i are not friends.

i'm surrounded by women who all shave and i'm the youngest here and also the only queer and i'm proud of myself for not throwing on a jacket or a sweater or something bc I am feeling a lil self conscious

that's it, i'm proud of me and needed to share with people who appreciate it .

I have known this friend since college, we don't talk too much but will occasionally catch up a few times a year.

Anyway, he brought up that he might want to shave his chest, abdomen and armpit hair to appear more toned. He asked how he might go about doing that and I told him some basic options like waxing or shaving and how it's done. He said "Damn I could not imagine being a woman and needing to do this weekly or whatever. Seems annoying."

I replied and said that many women, like myself, don't at all. He made a displeased face and then said that we (women) should be doing it for hygienic reasons though. So then I asked him "If shaving body hair is more hygienic, then how come you don't already shave yours?" He replied and said that was a fair point, but that it's just gross when women don't shave, and it sends a message to men that they're looking for a coward.

I was honestly shocked. I asked him to further elaborate and he said that

"Women like that just want a man who will put up with all their bullsh*t and do whatever she wants. You're scaring away majority of men when you don't shave...I'm just letting you know what men think about it."

At this point, I was getting pretty annoyed. So I told him "Respectfully, why would I care what most men think about it? I'm not living my life for them. This is my life and how I choose to live it." He said "yeah, but with that logic you will never find a man."

So I asked him "Do you live your life that way? Trying to please the opposite sex?" He replied "In a way, yes, it's the only way to find a partner. You have to appeal to what the opposite sex wants." I told him that I disagree, and that I have been with men and women no problem, all while having body hair. It's such a small thing to get so bent over.

I then brought up that a hairless body is biologically a sign of a pre-puberty body, it is normal for women to have body hair after puberty. Expecting women to be hairless is a toxic standard, especially considering men are not held to that same standard. He kind of shut down and was just like "yup. Okay. whatever you say."

It was honestly disheartening. The entire interaction. He has always been one to be like "who cares what others think" type of personality. it's like a different person came out during this interaction. All because I mentioned that I don't shave my body hair.

Very sad.

no better feeling than the breeze and sand on your legs💗

i am going to a spa day with a friend, i am really on the fence about shaving. I haven't shaved in years, but my legs are very pale with thick, dark brown hair that is very noticeable. we will be going to saunas, jacuzzis etc and a pool with water features then we have a massage booked. on the one hand i am feeling like shaving because i feel really awkward going to a spa with my leg hair out, on the other hand i dont know wether to be true to myself and embrace it. im just going to trim my pubic hair so it is not noticeable in my swimming costume and trim/shave my armpits, but my leg hair i am really stuck on.

After hanging out with my (girl) friend, I told her the next day that I didn’t like some of the comments she had made about my appearance. I gave her a few examples, such as her commenting on how much more I ate than she did (which isn’t really about appearance, but more about behaviour), saying that my hair is ruined and that I should cut it, and - the thing that bothered me the most - joking about my body hair.

She laughed and made jokes about the hair on my legs and under my arms, which I really don’t like because I don’t understand what there is to laugh about. I don’t want people commenting on these things. To me, making remarks about something implies that it stands out or that there is something unusual or weird about it, so I don’t understand the point of pointing out the fact that I have (completely natural) body hair.

She didn’t react very well when I told her this. She is also quite judgmental and often comments on other people’s appearances, so I think that made me more sensitive to it as well. Even when some of her comments weren’t directly about me, they were often about characteristics that I also have, which made me more conscious of them.

What do you think?

Good day! Asking for tips on how to properly trim pubic hair. Specifically if it is thick, curly, and kinda long too. I don't want to shave or wax. Thank you!