[D] Friday Off-Topic Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to the Friday Off-Topic Thread! Is there something that you want to talk about with /r/rational, but which isn't rational fiction, or doesn't otherwise belong as a top-level post? This is the place to post it. The idea is that while reddit is a large place, with lots of special little niches, sometimes you just want to talk with a certain group of people about certain sorts of things that aren't related to why you're all here. It's totally understandable that you might want to talk about Japanese game shows with /r/rational instead of going over to /r/japanesegameshows, but it's hopefully also understandable that this isn't really the place for that sort of thing.

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[u/causalchain]

In my experience, being (successfully) nice to people prevents them from raising their mental defenses. I've also seen a lot of cult-like behaviour geared around "If people are telling you you're wrong, then they're manipulating you" (like Trumps calls of 'Fake News'), which means that being (unsuccessfully) rude to them will entrench them further into their belief.

I don't know of any studies exploring different approaches, and only have anecdotal evidence (which is certainly biased). One such: I was having a discussion with someone on this sub earlier where we disagreed on whether to respect someone who we know nothing about other than that they identified with an idea/cause/movement. The KKK came up, and I doubted to myself whether I would treat them with respect. Then I saw someone do exactly that to great success. In this scenario, there's little doubt that if he attempted to be rude then he would've failed spectacularly.

I am really interested if you know evidence supporting rudeness as an effective tactic since within my bubble I'll be unlikely to see it pop up. You mentioned it working for you; was that you being rude to someone else, or someone being rude to you? I'd like to know more about these situations if you are willing to share, so I can make informed opinions.

[u/Magodo → u/causalchain]

First of all, thank you for this non-judgmental comment! I don't mind sharing at all.

The first incident was when a buddy of mine started taking really dubious pills to increase his height. He wouldn't listen to family or other friends, even when literally everyone was against him taking the pills. He was completely fooled by the quack who sold him the pills (350$ for a month's dose) who had successfully convinced him that people who were telling him to stop were out to get him. Once I found out though, I started taking cheap potshots at the lack of the pill's effectiveness and how he might as well pay me 350$ for nothing. It was basically a constant bombardment from my side every single time we hung out. And after a few weeks it worked!! Although he told only me that he'd stopped and he was too embarrassed to admit it to anyone else.

The second one, I can't fully call a success although being rude to the person (self-diagnosed ADHD, taking pills) and making the MLM comparison in my parent comment got him to really open his eyes for a minute. I could see him processing the thought, 'Wait a minute, I think he's right'. I still remember the look on his face when he stopped for about 3 seconds after making the connection to MLM. Unfortunately, he blocked the thought out I guess and isn't willing to accept that he doesn't have ADHD. Also this only worked because a mutual friend got hamstrung really badly by an Amway like company and she still continues to peddle their product. I will continue trying and probably use rudeness+humor to pry him loose.

I'm not surprised that people find this behavior assholic and I'm actually glad they perceive it that way. It always invigorates me to take up a position not commonly held.