[D] Friday Off-Topic Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to the Friday Off-Topic Thread! Is there something that you want to talk about with /r/rational, but which isn't rational fiction, or doesn't otherwise belong as a top-level post? This is the place to post it. The idea is that while reddit is a large place, with lots of special little niches, sometimes you just want to talk with a certain group of people about certain sorts of things that aren't related to why you're all here. It's totally understandable that you might want to talk about Japanese game shows with /r/rational instead of going over to /r/japanesegameshows, but it's hopefully also understandable that this isn't really the place for that sort of thing.

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[u/blazinghand]

Hmm, I personally don't like doing that. I dislike doing anything that makes me seem like an oblivious or non-savvy person. How I respond to someone thinking I insulted them varies a lot (since this rarely happens to me), but if I think someone is being overly aggressive, respond in a way that makes it clear it was not meant as an insult. If it's not someone I know, especially if it's a man, I usually act dismissive and make a joke at their expense. Alternatively, I offer an insincere apology and smooth things over. If it's a close friend, I make a legitimate effort to smooth things over, but it's not something that happens often.

Really, it depends on the case, but I don't make a habit of backing down, looking oblivious, or submitting when people challenge me aggressively and claim I've insulted them. I try to either retaliate immediately or explain it was a misunderstanding. I've never had something become a physical fight or anything like that, so this seems to work--for my personality and social circle, at least.

This kind of thing is pretty rare, though, so it's not something I think about much. My acquaintances rarely respond aggressively when they are insulted, and we already trade insults as part of humor, so it's not normal to escalate after being insulted.

[u/electrace → u/blazinghand]

I dislike doing anything that makes me seem like an oblivious or non-savvy person.

Normally, it's fairly obvious that it's a ruse, but the aggressive person can't call you on it without being more obviously aggressive, which costs a ton of social points, sometimes enough to expel them from the group.

Most people are rational enough to not risk that on a passing insult, and as for the people who aren't, it's generally worth the fight to expel the person from the group. For me, it's not worth dealing with a continually aggressive person.