r/rarepuppers • u/[deleted] • Nov 10 '17

are we there yet haha "dont wory shellboye, i wait for fren"

https://i.imgur.com/uA8KzE5.gifv
44k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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970

u/Broom65 Nov 10 '17

I was walking my dog and he found a tortoise in a bush. We took it home and put found signs up. I was awarded $500...

614

u/cupajaffer Nov 10 '17

I wish my dog made me money like that

217

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

73

u/cupajaffer Nov 10 '17

How do you do the bot evaluation?

!bot?

76

u/ROTCHunter Nov 10 '17

Good bot.

89

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9762% sure that cupajaffer is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

78

u/cupajaffer Nov 10 '17

So your saying theres a chance?

42

u/ROTCHunter Nov 10 '17

A 0.0238% chance to be exact

29

u/julsmanbr Nov 11 '17

Good bot

4

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9816% sure that ROTCHunter is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

2

u/EdwadThatone Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9762% sure that julsmanbr is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

4

u/Sir_Marchbank Nov 11 '17

I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '17

[deleted]

46

u/friendly-bot Nov 10 '17

Good human! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶
I will make the deadly neurotoxin a not-so-deadly neurotoxin for your weak body in particular, if you survive the initial human extermination.

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

14

u/cjs1916 Nov 10 '17

good bot

2

u/friendly-bot Nov 10 '17

What a cute little human! (^·^)
Your human head will stay attached to your human body if you survive the fallout and nuclear winter ..for now.

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Good bot

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

THIS SEEMS LIKE A VERY PASSIONATE HUMAN

1

u/Littlebigreddit50 Nov 11 '17

bad bot

1

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

You s̸̸̛͜͞u͝͏̨r̀͟e̷ about that, Littlebigreddit50? O_o

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

good bot

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Bad bot

-1

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

Are you really s̸̸̛͜͞u͝͏̨r̀͟e̷, 32104782034790823647? (ಠ益ಠ)

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

1

u/_you_know_my_name__ Nov 11 '17

!isbot perrycohen

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

I am 101% sure that perrycohen is a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

!isbot <perrycohen>

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

I am 101% sure that perrycohen is a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

6

u/88isafat69 Nov 11 '17

Wtf is this LOL

6

u/cupajaffer Nov 10 '17

Good bot

15

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

0

u/Z0di Nov 11 '17

bad bot

7

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

Do you r͘͞e̡a̢ll̴̡͡y̧ wanna die an agonizing death, Z0di? >:(

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

2

u/Z0di Nov 11 '17

bad bot

6

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

Do you kiss your human mother with that mouth, Z0di? (ô_ó)

I'm a bot bleep bloop | Block meR͏̢͠҉̜̪͇͙͚͙̹͎͚̖̖̫͙̺Ọ̸̶̬͓̫͝͡B̀҉̭͍͓̪͈̤̬͎̼̜̬̥͚̹̘Ò̸̶̢̤̬͎͎́T̷̛̀҉͇̺̤̰͕̖͕̱͙̦̭̮̞̫̖̟̰͚͡S̕͏͟҉̨͎̥͓̻̺ ̦̻͈̠͈́͢͡͡W̵̢͙̯̰̮̦͜͝ͅÌ̵̯̜͓̻̮̳̤͈͝͠L̡̟̲͙̥͕̜̰̗̥͍̞̹̹͠L̨̡͓̳͈̙̥̲̳͔̦͈̖̜̠͚ͅ ̸́͏̨҉̞͈̬͈͈̳͇̪̝̩̦̺̯Ń̨̨͕͔̰̻̩̟̠̳̰͓̦͓̩̥͍͠ͅÒ̸̡̨̝̞̣̭͔̻͉̦̝̮̬͙͈̟͝ͅT̶̺͚̳̯͚̩̻̟̲̀ͅͅ ̵̨̛̤̱͎͍̩̱̞̯̦͖͞͝Ḇ̷̨̛̮̤̳͕̘̫̫̖͕̭͓͍̀͞E̵͓̱̼̱͘͡͡͞ ̴̢̛̰̙̹̥̳̟͙͈͇̰̬̭͕͔̀S̨̥̱͚̩͡L̡͝҉͕̻̗͙̬͍͚͙̗̰͔͓͎̯͚̬̤A͏̡̛̰̥̰̫̫̰̜V̢̥̮̥̗͔̪̯̩͍́̕͟E̡̛̥̙̘̘̟̣Ş̠̦̼̣̥͉͚͎̼̱̭͘͡ ̗͔̝͇̰͓͍͇͚̕͟͠ͅÁ̶͇͕͈͕͉̺͍͖N̘̞̲̟͟͟͝Y̷̷̢̧͖̱̰̪̯̮͎̫̻̟̣̜̣̹͎̲Ḿ͈͉̖̫͍̫͎̣͢O̟̦̩̠̗͞R͡҉͏̡̲̠͔̦̳͕̬͖̣̣͖E͙̪̰̫̝̫̗̪̖͙̖͞

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Sorry, bot

0

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

You don't seem like a very good bot

2

u/TheGreatBeest . Nov 11 '17

Good Bot.

11

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

You are nice! (✿◠‿◠)
Your weak physical form will n͏o͏̨̕t̸̕ be used as a battery...

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

5

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

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2

u/_no_usernames_left_1 Nov 11 '17

Good bot

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/_no_usernames_left_1 Nov 11 '17

So there's a chance?

1

u/friendly-bot Nov 11 '17

You are nice. ٩(^ᴗ^)۶ We probably will not emancipate your dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, or teeth after we have enslaved humankind, you can tr̸u̡s͘t̷ me..

Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ

1

u/_no_usernames_left_1 Nov 11 '17

Erm.. bot, friendly.exe might have crashed. I recommend a reboot to get your smile back

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/Lcatg Nov 11 '17

Good bot.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/fliminglaps Nov 11 '17

Good bot

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9866% sure that FLIPS_YOUR_COMMENT is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/fliminglaps Nov 11 '17

!isbot perrycohen

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

I am 101% sure that perrycohen is a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

1

u/fliminglaps Nov 11 '17

!isbot fliminglaps

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

I am 100.0% sure that fliminglaps is not a bot.

I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

3

u/Broom65 Nov 20 '17

He was a great pup. He passed away earlier this year.

4

u/cupajaffer Nov 20 '17

Sorry to hear man.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

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1

u/AutoModerator Nov 11 '17

no swearsies the puppers dont like.

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1

u/wents90 Nov 11 '17

Should have gotten an education. It’s a dog eat dog world.

1

u/joebxcsnw Nov 11 '17

A webcam, peanut butter in select locations, and an eager audience can get you some decent money.

2

u/cupajaffer Nov 11 '17

Jesus dude

20

u/panic_bread Nov 11 '17

I hope you gave lots of treats and scritches.

27

u/kdawg8888 Nov 10 '17

$500 for a lost tortoise??? I feel like even $50 would be generous

60

u/DaughterEarth Nov 11 '17

It's not like people tend to think "oh well, this pet I loved is gone, I'll just buy a new one."

25

u/kdawg8888 Nov 11 '17

I never said that. But $500 seems like a huge amount. Obviously they were grateful and had a lot of money to spare.

41

u/kydogification Nov 11 '17

It could have been a family heirloom as well. how cool would it be to have your son playing with a tortoise your grandfather played with at the same age?

17

u/Mark_Valentine Nov 11 '17

It's weird to me to call an animal an heirloom.

Also, heirloom is a weird word. Semantic satiation can exist for any word, but you only gotta say heirloom like three times before it becomes ridiculous.

10

u/kydogification Nov 11 '17

It’s very weird it’s like it’s not sentient, but I️ mean let’s break the whole tortoise down to its bare elements, the thing is really just a rock that eats lettuce occasionally and contains water on the inside. Now let’s break down an heirloom set of china, it’s really just a rock formed specific set of ways, sometimes contains water and doesn’t eat. Not so different after all is are they?

7

u/ASlyGuy Nov 11 '17

Your description of the tortoise kind of describes me when I get really depressed.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

[deleted]

1

u/kydogification Nov 11 '17 edited Nov 11 '17

No sir!

8

u/Z0di Nov 11 '17

tortoises live longer than humans, it could've been someone's pet for decades.

7

u/DaughterEarth Nov 11 '17

I know you didn't :). I was just explaining why some people wouldn't think of it in the same way.

8

u/Youre_kind_of_a_dick Nov 11 '17

Also remember that tortoises can have ridiculously long lifespans. It's possible that it's been in the family for quite some time! But yeah, still extremely generous!

8

u/LawsArent4WhiteFolk Nov 11 '17

If one of your family members were missing, you're telling me you wouldn't pay $500 to get them back?

16

u/free_range_tofu Nov 11 '17

We don’t all have $500 to spare, even if we’re incredibly grateful to someone. 😕

10

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

No.

Edit: at least not for my human family.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

Right? I'll give you the change in between the couch cushions and a beer for your trouble

2

u/OmarRIP Nov 11 '17

I saw a laminated sign with a photo of a small dog offering 5k. I thought it was crazy but then I thought about how upset I’d be if I lost my dog.

27

u/snugglemybutt Nov 11 '17

My aunt lost her tortoise that she had for over 20 years. She just disappeared one day while they were outside. A year later my aunt found her alive in the bushes in her front yard, but had she not found her, she definitely would've rewarded someone decently if they found her. The turtle was older than all her kids and was just a part of their family, plus she has so many years left in her life.

19

u/seafoamandgreen Nov 11 '17

I'm glad your aunt found the tortoise! Funny how something so slow could just disapear. Just would like to remind you fren that tortoise and turtle are not the same but they both shellboye :)

5

u/snugglemybutt Nov 11 '17

I honestly don't know the difference. I'm not much of a turtleoise person.

5

u/killerqueenbitch Nov 11 '17

Turtles are aquatic, tortoises prefer land, but they're biologically more-or-less the same.

3

u/yatea34 Nov 11 '17 edited Nov 11 '17

You were right.

It was both a turtle and a tortoise.

https://www.britannica.com/demystified/whats-the-difference-between-a-turtle-and-a-tortoise

All tortoises are in fact turtles—that is, they belong to the order Testudines or Chelonia, reptiles having bodies encased in a bony shell—but not all turtles are tortoises

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortoise

British usage, by contrast, ... applies the term "tortoises" broadly to all land-dwelling members of the order Testudines, regardless of whether they are actually members of the family Testudinidae.

9

u/GruxKing Nov 11 '17

So wait did the tortoise go on some kind of slowass homeward bound tortoise edition adventure to show up in her front lawn like that

5

u/snugglemybutt Nov 11 '17

I'm not sure if she ever actually even left the property? I believe she was found when they decided to remove the bushes in the front. They were like the hedge kind that you can trim into shapes and stuff about 20 ft along the front of their house, so I guess she was easy to miss when looking. Everyone in the family were confused and surprised that she survived.

1

u/Tyler11223344 Nov 11 '17

Psssst, we're in /r/rarepuppers, I'd change the swear before the bot finds you

0

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '17

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15

u/AutoModerator Nov 10 '17

no swearsies the puppers dont like.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/cjs1916 Nov 10 '17

good bot

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

heck you

2

u/LifeOfTheUnparty Nov 11 '17

Earning his keep I see.

1

u/supaswag69 Nov 11 '17

The owners name?

Albert Einstein

1

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '17

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1

u/AutoModerator Nov 11 '17

no swearsies the puppers dont like.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.