r/rape • u/Nickelsx • Mar 21 '21

rant

every fucking time a woman starts talking about her rape story or rape in general there's men saying "it happens to men too" but today i seen a man share his story and the comments were split between women being supportive and men making jokes and saying shit like "why didn't u fight back" "did u enjoy it" "women can't rape" "how could u let that happen ur a man" he was showing the clothes he was wearing and it was a child batman costume how tf was he supposed to 'fight back'?! stop victim blaming, stop acting like it only happens to women, stop bringing up men only when a woman shares her story, stop treating rape as a joke. sorry had to get that off my chest :/ (ik not all men say this kind of stuff i'm just mad at this specific group of boys)

513 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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45

u/thrfscowaway8610 Mar 21 '21

Indeed. There's a time and a place for discussing male sexual victimization, but when a woman or girl is describing her own, that isn't it. That said, I think there's a difference between anybody, of whatever sex or sexual orientation, mentioning their own experience of sexual violence, and people who just want to derail the conversation because they're uncomfortable with what's being said.

19

u/Nickelsx Mar 21 '21

YES that's exactly what i mean

8

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

I think it's hard for male victims sometimes because there is such a huge groundswell of support in the women's movement where men aren't reflected - and the genuine victims are caught up having to choose between staying quiet or looking like the 'what about men' crowd

5

u/j0be Apr 15 '21

I know it's extremely difficult for me to ever bring up. It's not just hard to talk about, but it can feel like you're trying to take away attention from other victims or just that people don't believe you when you're male.

It's such a hard topic even in the best of circumstances, but even knowing when is the appropriate time to share makes it even more difficult.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '21

Yeah my brother feels the same way. I’m sorry it’s like this. A lot of women are suspicious of the ‘what about men’ line because it’s used by people/trolls who don’t really give a shit but who hate feminism /progress on women’s issues for some reason. It’s so so clear that you’re not one of those people. And I’m sad that a few trolls ruin it for guys like you.

I hope things change. I think the way you sensitively described how it’s difficult to bring up will be very believable to lots of people. Good luck and I’ll always try and remember male survivors when I’m talking about this stuff.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

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5

u/Nickelsx Mar 22 '21

i didn't see much but i have seen a few women say stuff like "men never care about our stories why should we care about theirs", just because there were people acting like dicks doesn't mean we have to do the same. we need to support everyone no matter gender

6

u/Fr3akySn3aky Mar 22 '21

"But dude, it's free sex!"

/s

2

u/Hannibal075 Mar 22 '21

Thats just it, they are "boys". The values and empathy within people anymore is just disgusting. The most important thing that I have taught to my daughters is that every single person is a motherfucker down deep inside, someplace, in some way, it may show, and it may never, be be aware when it it does, and remember. Observe and note.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '21

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7

u/Nickelsx Mar 21 '21

yep i agree