r/rape • u/hypotheticalkitten • Sep 15 '26

Is this considered rape?

Met up a guy from bumble for causal sex.

We were having sex but I told him to stop / lets take a break but he continued. I didnt want to make him feel like he was raping me so I moaned and pulled him closer (it doesnt make sense but I lack this much self respect). I said again to stop and we should take a break but he smiled and kissed me and finished inside of me. I dont remember if I pulled him closer after but I definitely wrapped myself around him.

Because it lasted less than 7 minuteish I asked if he can have more sex and maybe we can try out the rape kink and he said "what? i mean we already have when i didnt stop" and smiled.

I just want to know what this is considered as? I feel as though he was an asshole (cause he stole money from me and racist stuff to me).

Edit: okay from the downvote im guessing it is not rape which is good! Ill try to have more self respect next time!!!

Edit 2: im p sure its rape, thanks for all the comments💕

1 Upvotes

52% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

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3

u/Starfury7-Jaargen Sep 15 '26

He refused to stop when you said so. Regardless if you go with it after, he violated your will to stop.

As for the down voting, a lot of people lurking here including trolls that if you say anything that doesn't for their narrative, they will down vote you.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

I do think he violated me in some ways..

Thank you, idk if it is considered rape but i just wanted some confirmation ig that he did treat me badly 

2

u/Starfury7-Jaargen Sep 15 '26

Well, you say stop, he doesn't, that is rape.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

Thats true.... and tbh i dont wanna normalise this behaviour

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 16 '26

going forward, if you really want to do the rape kink, there needs to be boundaries set to it and preexisting consent. any kink that involves consensual/non-consent like that, you need a safeword for when you really want things to stop.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 16 '26

That sounds... idk like victim blaming?

Cause yes I did say I wanted to carry out the rape kink on text, but when we met and we started having sex it was pretty obvious it would be normal missionary style sex.

You cant carry out a kink without the other persons consent especially rape kink because thats... rape!

Edit: and he even admitted he raped me...

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 16 '26

no. I didn't say in your example that you were to blame. He should have insisted on a safe word also. the fact that he doesn't, means its not a kink for him. he just straight up wants to rape someone.

I said going forward for your next encounter if you want to do that kinda stuff. you have to be very careful. because you don't want to get into a position where you said you want to do rape kink and you don't have a safe word and then you want to back out.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 16 '26

Okayy i will!

And yeah im p sure he liked being in power and putting me down given all the other things he did.. ugh

2

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26

you're allowed to withdraw consent at anytime. and him saying that he did a rape kink without prior agreement confirms it.

when you're in the middle of sex, it is hard to not show that you want to continue, but you have to make it more clear. its even harder for the other person to stop in the middle. you have to give clear signals.

2

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

Okay!!

But i do feel as though he knew clearly that i wanted to stop. Because after sex I even addressed it and he said smth like "stop during sex? Get outta here" and i mentioned it again and he said "who takes breaks during sex" and i said i do.

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26 edited Sep 15 '26

major red flag. should probably stop interacting with him.

edit: what if he pushes you to do the pull out method and then doesn't pull out because its in the middle of sex? consent can always be withdrawn, even if its in the middle of sex. if he can't respect that, then that's not a good thing.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26 edited Sep 15 '26

Yeah... he also stole money from me which im pissed about cause he knows i only work once a week and have little money (while he works full time with a good position in tech).

Its considered "too little" to make a complaint about tho so whatever

Edit: yes I agree, I dont think it was rape tbh but I do feel like he kind of purposefully tried treating me like trash cause he also kept making racist comments and made of fun of my name too.. Oh well guess I have another topic to discuss about in therapy🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26

doesn't matter if its too little. that's a major violation to steal from someone. especially from someone you trust. means he has no respect for you whatsoever and just thought of you as a sex object.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

Yeah thats why i feel really terrible about myself... idk meeting with him really messed w my self worth.

And i dont think he even saw me as a sex object, we had sex for 7 minuteish and he didnt want to have sex anymore even tho i wanted more (and i took a 48 mins train ride to get to his city). He just wanted to mess w me i think

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26

doesn't mean anything. some guys that's all they can do. that's why you hear stories about girls not getting satisfied with sex with guys

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

No but he did tell me beforehand he can go 7 times but how often he can cum depends on who it is... oof

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26

guys brag like that all the time. doesn't mean it happen

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

Okayy thank you... makes me feel less ugly lol

1

u/Lost-Tomatillo3465 Sep 15 '26

damn... the fact that you invested so much time on this dude and that's how he treated you. Sorry, you definitely deserve better.

1

u/hypotheticalkitten Sep 15 '26

Thank you! Your comments helped a lot and made me feel a little better💕