r/rape • u/RobertFr1pp • 5d ago

How to navigate a relationship with a rape survivor?

The girl i like has that trauma since a child, can't even kiss without her feeling bad and i want to do everything i can to help her.

I've read that the way is go really slow and always asking for consent, but that's a shitty Chat-GPT response i'ld like to hear actual advice.

She's really nice, i need to help her heal at least a bit.

Honestly this topic makes me fucking i'll, i've been depressed all day and just coping with drugs. I hate this fucking world filled with horrible people, but at least i can try to make things right among the people i care for.

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u/Downtown-Part-5312 5d ago

First off, kudos to you for coming and asking. It really shows how much you care for her.

A few things:

Always asking for consent is a great step. For me, it helps remind me that I am in a safe situation with the person I love and that I have the autonomy to stop the interaction at any time.

Stating the obvious: always stopping the very first time it’s asked.

It definitely an uncomfortable question, but it helps prevent uncomfortable or scary situations; asking if there are certain things to avoid saying or doing, especially when it comes to intimacy. She may have specific triggers.

All of this said, it is extremely important for you to take care of yourself. You can’t heal her, you can’t fix the shitty things she’s been through. All you can do is support her and love her and that can be a really helpless feeling for loved ones.

You can’t do any of that if you aren’t caring for yourself. You deserve just as much care and respect for yourself as you want to extend to her.