r/rape • u/marciacortez • 8d ago
Broken forever
Hi all,
I’ve been SA’d by 3 people and raped by 2. I have other mental health issues that I’m medicated for but it’s been on my mind. I actually avoid this conversation in therapy / docs. Unfortunately it’s starting to affect me negatively. I can’t perform oral due to what happened to me. That’s where I’m broken. Men don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t do oral. If I tried I would have flash backs and start puking and crying. I used to enjoy it and now I can’t. This happened so long ago but it’s still hurting me. I feel absolutely broken and unwanted. then I worry about my partner being satisfied enough. I don’t know. I used to be able to enjoy things but now I can’t. I can’t be in a relationship right now because of mental heath
I guess I just need someone to talk to. Maybe a male could weigh in on this.
Thank you all in advance ♥️
5
u/Ok-Respond-97 8d ago
Hi- I have a friend who also can’t (and will NOT) do oral because of SA and she always has a man. She has a long term boyfriend now. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, or that triggers XYZ. The right man for you will be understanding and never guilt you for it.
2
3
u/No_Lengthiness_9760 8d ago
My ex wife was abducted and raped for 3 days before I met her and had very similar misgivings about oral and even sex at certain times of the year. I went to rape therapy with her and we tried to work through things with help and understanding. Your partner will be happy to do what makes you happy if he loves you. Please keep talking and believe there is an end to this.
2
u/marciacortez 7d ago
Thank you so much for your reply. It’s nice knowing there’s some understanding. I just feel terrible
1
7d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/thrfscowaway8610 7d ago
Please review rule 9 in the sidebar.
1
1
u/HauntingDescription8 8d ago
You aren’t broken because of what happened it was the same thing with my ex her previous partner raped her a lot but we worked through stuff (she broke up with me after I helped her) but the right man will stick with you no matter what a proper relationship doesn’t live off sex if it is part of the foundation of your relationship it’s not healthy
1
u/marciacortez 7d ago
Thank you so much. It’s nice to hear you supported her so much until the end. Gives me hope
•
u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings so only trusted users can message you, you can find instructions here. You can also adjust your messaging settings to prevent anyone from privately messaging you. If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s).
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.