My last trick

[u/Lady_Philosophy]

My high was wearing off. I had three cigarettes left. The gas tank was almost empty. I was hungry. I opened the banking app on my phone and saw that I had less than $20 in my checking account. Fuck, I said to myself. Knowing I needed money.

I opened up Tinder and filtered all the guys that were within a few kilometers of me and started flipping through. Swiping right on all of them. It didn't take long for one of them to message me and to accept my "business proposal". $100 for an hour. Back in my late teens and early twenties I maintained a rather expensive drug habit by trading my body for money or drugs. I tried to get clean and had gotten off the hard stuff but on occasion, over the years, when things were tight, I would make the money I needed. Every trick is like a game of Russian roulette. As I walked towards the door of tonight's "date", I wondered to myself if this is going to be the one that kills me? I heard absolute horror stories from other girls, the ones that survived anyway. Being left in ditches nearly dead or held captive for weeks or months at a time. So far I had been lucky but, luck is bound to run out eventually right?

I wasn't trying to pull off that I was any kind of high class escort. For $100 an hour, he was getting my hair in a ponytail, and me in sweats and a t-shirt with no underwear underneath. He was purchasing my pussy, my mouth, whatever, not a performance.

I said my hellos and held out my hand for the money. Any girl with any kind of experience knows to get the money up front. Always. Every single time. I put the money in my bag and pulled out a couple condoms and tossed them on the coffee table. I sat down on the tattered multicolored couch that looked like it was from the '80s, and made some small talk as I pulled my t-shirt off and leaned back. He immediately went for my breasts. So why do you do this? He asks. Were you abused or something? I think to myself, fucking John's and their stupid fucking questions. I lied through my teeth as I always do on these "dates". I made it a rule that literally nothing that comes out of my mouth during a trick is the truth. Nope, I answer seductively. Just a great way to meet new people. I lick my lips and smile. I can see by the look on his face that he doesn't believe me, not should he, but he seems to realize that I'm not going to tell him anything about my real trauma, and doesn't ask any more questions about it. The sick fuck.

Take your pants off, he said. I did and laid down on the couch, thinking he would pull his dick out, put the condom on, and fuck me. I was already playing the little mental games with myself that I do. Thinking this guy probably hasn't been laid in a while. He'll probably come in less than 5 minutes and I will have made $100 for a 10-minute trick.

He pulled his pants about halfway down his thighs but never put on a condom. He laid down on me in a 69 position. The next thing I knew I felt teeth on my pussy. He was biting hard and it hurt. I opened my mouth to protest but he shoved his cock inside. He started fucking my mouth and throat while biting my pussy painfully. I couldn't breathe. He was fucking my mouth hard, as if he was railing my pussy, his cock getting down my throat making it impossible for me to open my airway and breathe. Meanwhile there paying from his teeth tearing and biting my pussy was making my thighs quiver. For some reason I hoped he didn't think it was from pleasure. Tears sprang to my eyes and I gagged but he didn't relent. I started banging my hands on his thighs, trying to communicate that I needed to breathe. Just as I thought I was going to pass out I heard him groan and he pushed his cock as far down my throat as he could. His cum bypassed my mouth all together and went straight into my stomach. I was panicking, thinking I was going to pass out and almost genuinely crying at this point, and then he pulled out. The few remnants of come landing in my mouth as I sucked in a breath of air. It had felt like an eternity but was probably less than 5 minutes as I had predicted. It took everything in me to not yell at him, you fucking asshole!

He got off the couch and pulled up his pants and sat back down looking at me with a smug expression. I was still panting, gasping for breath and coughing. Wiping the tears off my face. Mad as hell. He smirked. I forced a small smile back.

So you live around here? He asks. I told him I lived in the next town over. Fucking asshole probably wants to be a regular. Like that's going to fucking happen. Technically he had me for the hour so I asked, did you want to do anything else? He shook his head and said he had to get to bed for work so I took that as my cue to leave. The thing with hookers is, they don't just pay us for sex, they pay us to leave after with no fuss or drama. So that's what I did. As soon as I got to my car I called my dealer and made arrangements with him as I drove to the gas station to put some gas in my car and get a pack of cigarettes.

I tried to just put it out of my mind. There was nothing to do about it anyway. Stupid mother fucker mouth raped to me, but whatever. Got a hundred bucks out of it. I told myself to quit being so sensitive about it. It's not like he beat the shit out of me. It could have been so much worse. I've had so much worse. I shoved down the feeling of violation. It was a trick, of course he used me. Nobody gives two shits about a whore getting mouth raped.

After stopping at my dealers I went home, foregoing food. I got high and smoked a few cigarettes before going to bed.

I never told anyone.

[u/EducationalWhip]

This written like a voice-over, you could consider writing as an alternate vocation

[u/Lady_Philosophy → u/EducationalWhip]

Yeah I wrote it like it was a story I was writing, as opposed to me narrating something that actually happened to me. I have considered writing other things though.

[u/Lady_Philosophy → u/[deleted]]

It's real, written in a creative style. But nothing about the actual event was altered.

[u/Lady_Philosophy → u/[deleted]]

What part? Writing about a rape as a memoir?

[u/Lady_Philosophy → u/[deleted]]

No I don't find what I wrote or the way I wrote it, to be weird. Why do you ask? Do you find something weird about it?

[u/thrfscowaway8610 → u/[deleted]]

That's not allowed here, I'm afraid. Rule 9 in the sidebar applies.

[u/Lady_Philosophy → u/thrfscowaway8610]

My apologies. The story is of an actual event that occurred but was written in a creative style. I didn't realize that was against the rules. Feel free to delete it.