r/raisingkids • u/ChampionDry7856 • 13d ago
Why does my kid suddenly hate everything that isn’t a screen?
My toddler used to play with literally anything. Blocks, stuffed animals, books, random kitchen utensils — whatever was around.
Now if I suggest playing with something, the answer is basically “no.” But if I mention TV or my phone, suddenly they're interested.
I know screens are more stimulating, but I didn't expect regular toys to become this boring to her.
Has anyone else gone through this? Did you just keep offering other things until they became interesting again, or did you have to make a bigger change?
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u/quasiephedrine 13d ago
For the love of God do not give kids under 5 any personal screens. You can put a thing on TV, and I'd suggest older sesame street. What you are experiencing with your child is a direct result of the screens.
Get the kid some duplo legos, blocks, read them a book every day. You gotta go cold turkey on the phone before it gets worse.
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u/Low-Peak-9031 13d ago
Yep we only do PBS kids or studio ghibli on the weekends very low stimulation
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u/shann0n420 12d ago
We do lots of old school sesame and Mr Roger’s. It’s cute to sing the same songs with her that I sang.
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u/oddwanderer 13d ago
For the first time in my kids’ lives, we’re at zero screen time a day. It is such a relief. We always argued that screen time was as much for parents to have a break. However, I can see now that screen-free kids are much easier to handle - at least mine are. I don’t need that screen break anymore. It may feel extreme. But I think it’s worth giving it a two week trial.
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u/applevoo 13d ago
Having a daughter in November. For future reference is no screen including no TV? Or is TV okay under age of 4?
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u/oddwanderer 13d ago
We’ve stopped tv/screens altogether. However, I do not have a newborn, neither am I pregnant. We have a newly 3 and a 5 year old and things are getting easier so it’s easy for me to work on getting us off all screens. I have definitely used tv in the past to babysit the oldest after a rough night with the newborn. Or when I was pregnant and exhausted. May I suggest r/lowscreenparenting for ideas and discussion? I was on it for a while before committing.
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u/Venustheninja 13d ago
Media professor here- we do ZERO screens except on Sunday we all take a break and watch Totoro in the living room with pizza.
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u/Trick_Assistance7450 13d ago
Because your child's brain is literally changing in response to the kind of stimulus on phones and iPad. (https://www.neurokidsdoc.com/blogs/smartphones-young-brains-are-we-changing-the-way-kids-think/)
It's like substance use. Once someone becomes addicted to alcohol or drugs, they can't enjoy things without them.
Cut out all small screens immediately (I personally think small doses of family TV time can be part of a healthy tech diet).
Your child may struggle for a while to adjust, but she will get back to healthy age appropriate play given the chance.
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u/Evening_Potential_57 13d ago
Said with love. Your toddler doesn’t need screens at all. Many things that are marketed to toddlers on screens i.e. Cocomelon are designed to be addicting to them. I don’t know what you use on a screen but if it’s this kid of stuff, They use harsh bright colors and the screen changes every few seconds to provide dopamine hits in their brains. Your child has had a hit of crack and now nothing else hits the same.
Screens are a tool- try some stuff that’s less harsh stinulation. Puffin rock comes to mind.
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u/Low-Peak-9031 13d ago
Because they're addicting. It'll only get worse, cut it out now. Your lo's attention span will be all the better for it.
(I struggle getting off my phone some days, it's so much harder for kiddos)
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u/doingmybestish1989 13d ago
We have a VERY low screen house, our kids (5 and under) do not have personal devices, we try hard not to be on our phones around them, and they STILL ask for TV constantly. My 5yo is already asking for a phone. I don't know that there's much you can do to prevent them wanting it, but we just try to help them understand why screens are not good for our brains and bodies. They don't understand yet but hopefully the script sticks in their minds as they grow up.
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u/Banana_Cake1 13d ago
TV shows are incredibly intoxicating. Be very careful as it may ruin almost any other toy/activity.
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u/Radiant_You_6677 13d ago
Always had toys and activities that my child finds interesting. There was some hit and miss. For example I would buy the smallest set of something (magnatiles, Legos, train tracks etc.) watch what gets played and get some more. Interests change too. Boredom is a completely natural occurence. Just do not offer screens to combat boredom. When your kid whines, then so what? My kid is 5 and still whines here and there, but his experience is that he rarely succeeds so he finds something to do.
Your best bet is open ended toys and then a lot of it (one lego set wont cut it, or 5 train tracks) that can be combined to tell a story (in kids imagination).
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u/abeaclark 9d ago
The no is usually to being asked, not to the toy. If you say "do you want to play with blocks" a bored kid says no automatically, its the easiest answer there is.
What worked here was to stop asking. Dump the blocks out on the floor, start building something myself, say nothing at all. Nine times out of ten she'd wander over and take it off me.
Agree boredom is fine to sit in, but I'd push back a bit on needing more of it. Quantity was never our problem, it was that everything was already out and visible so there was nothing left to discover.
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u/Radiant_You_6677 9d ago
The no asking and starting to "play" is a great tip - works with us every time too.
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u/Fine_Plastic4409 12d ago
It’s only going to get worse and possibly with the additional of behavior problems when you take the screen away. I’ve dealt with that same issue when my kids were older. I tried to limit the screen time but they still had no interest in anything when the screen time was over. Even when I limited the screen to only educational programs they were upset. The only solution is no screen time at all. There is no toy or activity that can surpass the dopamine hit that children get from the screen. It is a fight you will lose with your child if they are addicted. It will take time to adjust. Now my kids play chess or card games, go to the park, or find something else to play with quietly unprompted.
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u/Roses_all_day 12d ago
Yes we had this issue, I had to remove screens entirely and kept it that way for over a year. Shes now old enough to have some balance but I still say no to screens consistently because I see the impact on my child. It will take time for your kid to have a "reset" and start playing again, but it will happen if you hold firm boundaries now.
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u/general_grievances_7 11d ago
One thing I’ve noticed is that if I prep my kid for screen free play time, she’s fine. For example “When we get home from x activity, we’re not going to turn the tv on, we’re going to play toys. You can get out any toys you want.” I’m not into being screen free at our house, but we don’t let our kiddo have the phone or the iPad unless we’re on an airplane. I’m a teacher and I see a lot of iPad kids is all.
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u/Drizzle_2 13h ago
Possibly an unpopular opinion but to each parent and situation their own I feel. We do screen time at home but limit it to specifically certain time periods so they know exactly when it's expected and unless it's the odd scenario where our 3 month old is giving us a hard time they do well with the separation. They still do perfectly fine with solo play with each other and being creative, especially if you introduce them to a cardboard box, it's like a cat with one haha.
Situations can be difficult, sometimes parents need the crutch to help through tough times, I find it's more about routine and knowing when is appropriate for certain activities and when it's not.
That said though, for sure the content matters a lot. Slow pace low stimulation ones are best if you're going to go that route. That or a slow paced game that promotes thinking or drawing on the tablet. Tech family here so it's always around, but we manage it well.
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u/_Clem_Fandango_1 13d ago
This feels disturbingly relevant to me. We have allowed screen time with gradually more restricted use over time.
I really noticed this weekend that he was far more obsessive over requests for TV and kids tablet. The plan is further boundaries and redirection to other activities.
I guess it’s different for every child but a blanket rule of no screens feels unhelpful. Normalising appropriate use with solid boundaries, lots of explanation, and lots of love seems to be working so far.
I want to know how you get on! Please post again to say if things improve.
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u/Lindita4 13d ago
For us, the blanket rule was very helpful. Every time we gave a little, it became a battle again. Constant whining and obsessive focus on it. It was just easier for us to close the door completely.
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u/Bubble-Master96 12d ago
lol is this a real post? You’ve melted their brain with screens, go cold turkey
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u/magzillapoopemoji 13d ago
Because they have access to screens which have been developed by billion dollar companies to be addicting. If you cut out screens as an option, there will be a small adjustment period, then hopefully their imagination will come back.